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Of Course, If You Really Want To Pay …

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Hotel Guest: “So how does parking work at the hotel?”

Me: “Oh sir, parking is complimentary anywhere on site.”

Hotel Guest: “How much does it cost?”

Me: “It’s complimentary … It’s free …”

Must … Have … Chocolate … GraAAaawr!

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(It must be noted the ice cream shop I worked at was in a mall, so it was pretty tiny and limited.)

Customer: “I’d like a chocolate ice cream cone please.”

Me: “Sorry, we only have vanilla.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like a chocolate ice cream then.”

Me: *stares* “We only have VANILLA. I can drip it in chocolate for you though.”

Customer: “Ugh, gross! No thanks, I’ll go try McDonald’s.”

A Pseudo-Existential Moment

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Technician: “Good morning, *** Technical Support.”

Caller: “Is this technical support?”

Technician: “Yes.”

Caller: “Can I have your phone number please?”

Technician: (Confused) “What number did you phone in on?”

Caller: “Can I have your phone number please?”

Technician: (Thoroughly confused) “It’s this number, it’s the number you’ve just dialed.”

Caller: “Thank you. Goodbye.”


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Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*

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(Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.”

Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!”


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He Who Warps The Fabric Of Space

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Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I‚Äôm looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

Me: “No. Boston isn‚Äôt local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

Customer: “Well there aren‚Äôt any on the shelf.”

Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

Customer: “Good idea.”


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