Category: Uncategorized

General Housekeeping

| Edmond, OK, USA | Uncategorized

(A hotel guest walks in with his significant other and approaches the front desk.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Hotel guest: “You wouldn’t happen to have like, tarps and scalpels?”

Me: “…No…sorry.”

Hotel guest: “Worth a shot!” *returns to hotel room*

When Colloquialisms Meet Capitalism

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I’ve just rung up a customer up for cigarettes.)

Customer: “I’m gonna zip-zip it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Zip-zip!”

Me: “I don’t know what that means.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “I’m going to use my zip-zip card!”

Customer’s Daughter: “Zip-zip? Gosh, Mom! It’s a credit card.”

Me: “Oooh. You can slide that right over there.” *pointing to the card machine*

Customer: “Which button do I press? It’s asking me to pick payment type.”

Me: “…credit?”

Keep The Paranoia, Keep The Stress

| Florida, USA | Uncategorized

(Our tea store hands out free samples in the mall in small two ounce cups to people walking by the store. An older woman walks by one day.)

Me: “Would you like to try some tea, ma’am?”

Customer: *smiling* “Why yes! I love tea! What flavors do you have?”

Me: “Well, I have a relaxing green tea, and…”

(At this point the woman’s expression changes and she cuts me off mid-sentence, waving her hand in my face.)

Customer: “Oh forget it! I don’t want to relax! Forget it! You should be ashamed!” *storms off*