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Oh, You Mean THOSE Kinds Of Maps

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Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”


There Once Was a Man From Nantucket …

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(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island???)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

Surprisingly, This One Knows How To Read

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Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”

Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”


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Gone, As In Mentally

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Lady: “Yeah I just got back so I missed the big rain storm.”

Me: “Well it wasn’t too bad, where did you go? Out of town?”

Lady: “What?”

Me: “You got back from somewhere, where did you go?”

Lady: “I haven’t been anywhere.”

Me: “So you were here for the rainstorm?”

Lady: “No, I was gone.”

One Track Minds And Earwax Don’t Mix

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Me: “What size?”

Lady: “Electric Lime.”

Me: “What size?”

Lady: “Electric Lime.”

Me: “That’s a color miss. What size did you want the harness in?”

Lady: “What do you mean, ‘What size?'”

Me: “How many inches is it?”

Lady: “Oh I didn’t even think about the size.”


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