Category: Uncategorized

Shooting Yourself In The Foot After Getting It In The Door

| Talent, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(A woman with a resume approaches our hostess at 6 pm on a very busy Friday night.)

Woman: “I’d like to speak to a manager, please.”

Hostess: “They’re all busy right now, but I can take your resume and pass it along.”

Woman: “No. I want to speak with a manager now.”

Hostess: “Well, like I said, they’re all unavailable right now, but I can pass along–”

Woman: “No. I want a manager now. I want them to put a face to the name on the resume. I want to be professional!”

Hostess: “I’m sorry, but you’ve walked in at the beginning of the dinner rush. Perhaps you should try coming back during the slow times, usually 3-5 pm?”

Woman: “No. I am here now, and I will speak with a manager now! You
are being unprofessional!”

Hostess: “I’m sorry ma’am, I really can’t ask them to conduct an interview when they are backed up with orders.”

Woman: “Fine! This is a waste of my time!”

(The woman rips her resume in two, drops it on the floor, and storms out the front door. Suffice to say, she wasn’t professional enough for the job.)

General Housekeeping

| Edmond, OK, USA | Uncategorized

(A hotel guest walks in with his significant other and approaches the front desk.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Hotel guest: “You wouldn’t happen to have like, tarps and scalpels?”

Me: “…No…sorry.”

Hotel guest: “Worth a shot!” *returns to hotel room*

When Colloquialisms Meet Capitalism

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I’ve just rung up a customer up for cigarettes.)

Customer: “I’m gonna zip-zip it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Zip-zip!”

Me: “I don’t know what that means.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “I’m going to use my zip-zip card!”

Customer’s Daughter: “Zip-zip? Gosh, Mom! It’s a credit card.”

Me: “Oooh. You can slide that right over there.” *pointing to the card machine*

Customer: “Which button do I press? It’s asking me to pick payment type.”

Me: “…credit?”