Category: Uncategorized

Blood Still Flowing Where It Counts

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am taking vitals on an elderly patient, preparing him to see the doctor. His wife is in the exam room with us. I’ve just taken his blood pressure, which comes out unusually low.)

Me: “[Patient], your blood pressure is rather low.”

Patient: “Well… you just need to get sexier, then!”

(His poor wife was mortified, but I thought it was hilarious!)

Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 5

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a clothing store. I am assigned to recover and help customers at the kid’s section. It’s not unusual for customers to make up baby outfits and leave them over piles of clothes on the display tables. I notice a woman who has left a mess on one of the tables and just walked away. I assume she just didn’t like the clothes and left them.)

Customer: *comes back from the other side of the area* “Excuse me? What are you doing? I wasn’t done!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I just assumed you were done.”

Customer: “Well, don’t! I wasn’t done!”

Me: “I’m so sorry.” *steps away*

Customer: “But I wasn’t done!”

(A little later, the customer approaches me. There are several signs in neon paper on the registers at the kids section saying that they’re closed and customers need to pay at over the adult side. I notice the woman stands right next to a sign.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, these registers are closed but you can pay over at the other side!”

Customer: “Can’t you just ring me here?!”

Me: “I can’t, I’m sorry. These registers are closed.”

Customer: “Just open it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not authorized but my coworkers will gladly complete your purchase at the adult section.”

Customer: “Oh, my god!” *goes away mumbling*

(A few minutes later this conversation happens through our headsets:)

Coworker: “Uh, so this lady was complaining about a girl refusing to ring her items or something.”

Me: “Yeah, it was me. She got mad because the registers were closed. I sent her over.”

Manager: *laughing* “Oh, we know her. It’s always the same with her. She leaves a mess and finds new ways to complain every time she comes. That’s why we left you all by yourself over there; no one wants to deal with her. Sorry!”

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2

A Sudden Change In Attitude

, | USA | Uncategorized

(I’m taking money in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hello, sir, your total was $10.03.”

Customer: *shoves a stack of bills in my hands* “That’s 11.”

Me: “All right.” *I proceed to count the bills*

Customer: “What are you doing? You don’t need to count them! I told you there were 11, so just type in 11 and give me my change!”

Me: “Sir, I have to check to see how much money you handed me. Even if you tell me I still have to count it.”

Customer: That’s bulls***! How can you be so distrusting? I’m not trying to scam you. If I say I gave you 11, then I gave you 11 dollars! God, you’re so rude. I can’t believe this.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir. Here’s $1.97 for your change.”

Customer: “Wait, what?”

Me: “You gave me 12. Not 11. That’s why I count everyone’s money. More often than not, people give me too much money by accident.”

Customer: “Oh… yeah. Thanks, I guess.”

(That wasn’t the first time I’ve had this conversation, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.)