Category: Transportation


A Customer Over Troubled Water

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(The phone rings.)

Customer: “You f****** idiots broke my truck!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”


Me: *remaining calm* “Can you please tell me what happened?”

Customer: “I was in on Saturday and filled with diesel. It started to make an awful noise and isn’t f****** running right. The mechanic said there is water in the diesel and now you have to f*****fix my f****** truck, you d*** c***!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but if we had water in our diesel, we would have had a lot more complaints that just yours. I will transfer you to my manager; please give me one moment.”

(I cut off the customer before he could say anything. My manager got the time he was in a few days before and all of his information. My manager hung up on him after a few death threats and more foul language. When we looked at the camera, the guy had put a whole jug of DEF into his gas tank, which is about 60% water and which YOU DO NOT MIX WITH FUEL. The police got a copy of the video along with his name and license plate. Oddly enough, we never had to deal with him again.)


Poured Oil On Troubled Water

| MO, USA | Transportation

(I work in a major auto parts store. A customer comes in one day.)

Customer: “My ‘check oil’ light is on. Do you think I need some oil?”

Me: “I’d say so.”

(The customer gets one quart of our in-house oil brand and I ring her up. She dumps the oil into her engine, which instantly starts smoking. She then drives off, but comes back five minutes later.)

Customer: “That one bottle wasn’t enough. Do you think I need more?”


Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 10

| UK | Transportation

(The call centre I work at does quotes for car insurance, and like most companies we have additional products, such as Motor Legal Protection, Breakdown Cover, Keycare, etc. The company has a strict policy that we aren’t to push these products, just offer them and that’s it; if the customer doesn’t want it, they just don’t want it. However, we are required by our regulators that we have to mention them, and inform the customer exactly what they cover so they aren’t misinformed; it also makes it easier to debunk any claims that the customer may make about “But they didn’t tell me about that specific thing when I signed up!” or anything like that.)

Me: “So now I’ll just be going through some information on our additional products…”

Customer: “I don’t want any of the additional products; I just want the basic insurance.”

Me: “That’s fair enough, sir, but I’m still required to give you the information in case you change your mind and want to add them later.”

Customer: “I won’t change my mind! Just let me pay. I don’t care about the other stuff. Stop trying to sell it to me!”

Me: “Sir, like I said, I understand, but regardless of whether you want them today I’m still required to quickly tell you about them so you are right informed. This policy is enforced by our industry regulators, and the company could be fined if I didn’t, and I would be marked badly on this call.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, but hurry up!”

Me: *gives info on products*

Customer: “Actually that Keycare sounds like something I might need…”

Me: *while mentally face-palming* “Well, I can add that on for you for [price], if you’d like?”

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 9
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 8
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7


Your Money Is Gone In Sixty Seconds

| IA, USA | Transportation

(A customer steps up with some snack food at the checkout counter; I promptly ring it up.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: “Do you accept EBT?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

(After completing the transaction, the customer then walks out and starts up his Mustang. Since he was at the end of a rush, I turn to my coworker at the other register.)

Me: “How can he even afford that thing if he’s poor enough for food stamps?”

Coworker: “It’s probably BECAUSE he’s on food stamps.”



| WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Transportation

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*

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