Category: Transportation

You’re Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| Escondido, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I work as a security guard at a local bank. Typically my job is to open the door for people and direct people with any questions as well as to be a visual deterrent. There is a holiday parade that is running along one of the streets next to the back. I am told by my boss not to let anyone park in our lot for the parade since we have a smaller lot on a corner and do not have a lot of parking. The woman is an older lady who parks her car and proceeds to walk not towards the bank but to the street with a folding chair to watch the parade.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m very sorry but you cannot park your car there. This is private property.”

Older Lady: “What do you mean? I can’t park here to watch the parade?”

Me: “The bank manager was very clear that this is private property and not to allow parade parking. I’m very sorry.”

Older Lady: “Well, the police said that they weren’t going to give out tickets because of the parking situation.”

Me: “That is very kind of them, but unfortunately this is still private property and not open for parade parking.”

Older Lady: “Well. the police said that I could park here and that local retailers and banks would be allowing this.”

Me: “They didn’t talk to the branch manager, so I guess he’s not aware of this.”

Older Lady: “If the police said it’s all right, I’m going to park here.”

Me: “The police can’t give permission to park on private property, and the number for the towing company to retrieve your car is available on the signs that explain that this lot is for bank business only.”

Older Lady: *full blown yelling* “Are you telling me that you know how the police work better than I do, young man?”

Me: *still absolutely calm and polite* “Well, seeing as I have a bachelor’s in police sciences, yes. I’m pretty sure I do, actually.”

Older Lady: “Well. Then… um…”

Me: “There is public parking right across the street. Would you like me to go and stand in a spot for you, ma’am?”

Older Lady: “Yes, that would be very kind of you, young man.”

What A Total Dipstick

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(The customer pulls up on the service drive. She is driving a brand new car. She does not bother being polite, instead gets out of the car screaming.)

Customer: “This car is a lemon; I’m gonna sue you all!

(Her car is pouring oil on the drive. The service advisor goes over, she shuts it off, and he opens the hood and goes to check the oil. There is no dipstick.)

Service Advisor: “Where is the dipstick?”

Customer: *smugly* “I put it in the trunk so I don’t lose it.”

Pumped For Revenge

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Transportation

(A customer comes to the cash desk:)

Customer: “Pump six.”

Me: “That will be £20.01 please.”

Customer: “Twenty pounds … and a penny! Hah! You win this time pump, but I shall have my revenge.”

(He pays and then walks towards the door, cackling maniacally and waving his fist in the air. As he leaves he shouts:)

Customer: “REVENGE SHALL BE MINE, PUMP SIX. WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!”

Not Much Assurance About Insurance

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I work for a call center for a nationally known insurance company handling investigations for claims filed on policies that are no longer active.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling from [Company] regarding the claim you filed for your auto accident. Am I speaking to [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Good afternoon, I was calling to discuss your policy with you. Your claim was filed for an accident that happened yesterday, however it looks like your policy with us ended last year.”

Customer: “What do you mean, it ended? I thought I had insurance with you guys!”

Me: “Well, according to our records, your policy expired in June of last year and you never sent in a payment to restart your policy when we sent you our offer to renew.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Since you didn’t ever send in a payment, then your policy wouldn’t restart.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I never knew I had to send in a payment!”

Me: “Well, let me check on something. Is your address [address on file]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Was that your address last year as well?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I am showing that we sent the offer to that address. Do you recall if you received anything from us?”

Customer: “Yeah, I used to get things from you guys all the time, but then they just stopped.”

Me: “Well, did you read any of them?”

Customer: “No! Why would I read your junk mail? I’m already a customer!”

Me: “That wasn’t junk mail! That was your policy paperwork and your bill.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “The envelope says on the outside that there is important information inside pertaining to your policy and even says on the back to not discard the letter until you’ve read it.”

Customer: “I don’t pay attention to any of that; it’s all junk mail. You’re just trying to get me to buy new things!”

Me: “In this case, we were trying to prevent your policy from ending.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say something to me?”

Me: “We did! In fact, we send the first notice two months out to give you a warning that the policy is going to end soon, then another one a month out giving you a 30 day notice…Then we sent one after it ended to remind you to purchase new insurance or to contact us to restart your policy with us. I also show that your agent called you twice before it ended to see if you wanted to come by his office to pay it.”

Customer: “Well, I never got any of them!”

Me: “You just told me that you had, but you didn’t read them.”

Customer: “I didn’t! So, I never got them, because I didn’t know that’s what they were!”

Me: “I’m sorry… but you’re saying that because you threw away our letters reminding you to pay that it means you never got them?”

Customer: “Exactly! I shouldn’t have to read mail from you guys. You should just tell me when I need to pay something!”

Me: “We did… like I said, your agent also called you. Did you get his calls?”

Customer: “I was busy, so I never called him back.”

Me: “And this was all a year and a half ago. Your insurance card says that the policy period would end.”

Customer: “I thought it was just old, but that you’d send me a new one.”

Me: “If you don’t open our mail, how would we send you a new one?”

Customer: “By CALLING me first and telling me you were sending it.”

Me: “But you hadn’t paid, and you weren’t returning the agent’s calls!”

Customer: “So? It’s not my fault that you guys don’t know how to get it to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re not going to be able to cover this. You haven’t had insurance with us for almost a year and a half. You’ve confirmed that you got our mail, you got the agent’s calls, and you never responded. You’ve not been paying insurance with us.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “So, we’re going to be denying this. I suggest you contact your agent if you want to restart your policy, but we cannot do anything for this accident.”

Customer: “So what about my car? Can I get it fixed now?”

(Face to desk.)

He Might Need A Smart Car

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer is waiting in line while I take care of renting a car for another customer. It takes about five minutes, and just as I am finishing up with him, the guy in line throws up his hands in frustration.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is taking forever! This isn’t that difficult, sweetheart!”

Me: “Be right with you. I’m almost done.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a premium member. I’m supposed to pick out my car and not even deal with you. Why the hell do I have to wait here?”

Me: “Oh, the premium members just go downstairs to pick out a car. You actually don’t have to wait for me.”

Customer: “It’d be nice if you had a f****** sign! Way to waste my time!”

Me: “Sir, you’re standing right next to a giant sign that says what I just told you.”

(Customer looks to his right, where there is indeed a giant, standing sign at eye level.)

Customer: “Oh, bet you think you’re so smart.” *stomps off*

Me: “That’s not exactly what I was thinking…”

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