Category: Transportation

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Caught With Their Pants Down

| GA, USA | Food & Drink, Transportation

Me: *to a coworker* “Can I make a public service announcement for our drive-thru customers?”

Coworker: “Saying what?”

Me: “You don’t realize it but… I can see all the trash piled up in your car floors. I can also see that you’re not wearing any pants.”

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Not Very Sheepish

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I work in a train station for a very rural line. Trains are two hourly, which city visitors don’t always understand.)

Customer: “Hi! When’s the next train to [Major English Hub Station]?”

Me: “The next one’s at 16:56; about half an hour.”

Customer: “Really? Did I just miss one? Bummer.”

Me: “No sir, the last one was 14:55, approximately one hour and a half ago.”

Customer: “Very funny!”

Me: “Sir, I’m serious. This is a rural line. We have two hourly trains. Look!” *points to massive timetable poster next to where he is standing*

Customer: “Bloody h***! You just got sheep around here or what?”

Next Customer In Line: *an elderly local legend* “Yep, now baaaaaa-gger off if you’re not buying tickets! I’ve got a gammy knee and it’ll take me that half hour to walk around to the platform!”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

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The Landing Went Down The Toilet

| Singapore | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a cabin crew member in economy class, preparing for landing. We are all set and waiting for the captain to announce our landing position, when suddenly an elderly passenger, in the last row, gets up to use the lavatory.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sir, we will be landing soon. The lavatory can no longer be used at this moment.”

Passenger: “I need to use the toilet now!” *shoves his way past me and into the lavatory*

(I have to inform the crew in charge about the situation so that the captain will not make the landing. After the passenger comes out from the lavatory and quietly goes back to his seat, the captain proceeds to make a safe landing. When the aircraft is on ground and passengers are getting up to exit the aircraft, the same passenger comes up to my face.)

Passenger: “You are very rude! No one had ever done that to me. Do you know I have the contact to your company’s president? I have his number right here on my mobile!”

Me: “Sir, it was for your own safety. And if you like to report me to the president, please go ahead. This is my name.”

Passenger: “What if I peed right here in the aircraft?”

Me: “Sir, it was for your safety. You could have gone before we were ready for landing or after landing.”

Passenger: “Kamu orang China bodoh!” *speaking in Bahasa Indonesia, translation: “You stupid China people.”*

Me: “Saya bukan orang China. Saya orang Indonesia. Ini untuk keselamatan bapak.” *me replying to him in Bahasa Indonesia, translation: “I am not from China. I am from Indonesia. I am doing so for your safety, sir”*

(Stumped at my reply, he quickly tried to exit the aircraft while at the same time yelling in Bahasa Indonesia: “Rude, stupid people!”)

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Heavy Drinking Is Not In His Jeans

| UK | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(My friend gets on a train to somewhere in London one evening, while a bit drunk. He doesn’t remember what happens next. The next day, he’s woken up by a ticket attendant. Note that there are several families on the train by this time, including young children.)

Friend: “Where am I?”

Attendant: “You’re in Bognor Regis, sir. And it’s ten in the morning.”

Friend: “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep. Would it be okay if I stayed on the train?”

Attendant: *casually* “You’re welcome to do so. Just as long as you put your jeans back on.”

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The Wheel Always Comes Back Around

| Charleston, SC, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I’ve been a bicycle mechanic for over 10 years and have heard my share of JRAs (I was Just Riding Along when my frame broke in two… etc), but this customer stands out for some reason. He enters the service door with a bike he has purchased from us, clearly agitated.)

Me: “Yes, sir, how can we help you?”

Customer: *mumble* “Warranty work…” *mumbles* “…shoddy workmanship…”

(He kind of mumbles this under his breath as he keeps striding up to the service area, and then actually pushes the bike into me, physically. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s pretty aggressive.)

Me: “I’m sorry; you’re having an issue with the bike? What’s going on?”

Customer: *grunts and points toward the rear wheel*

(I kneel down and notice that both the brake arm and the housing for the three-speed hub are disconnected, meaning the bike cannot shift or brake. These are the two things you would need to unfasten to remove the rear wheel, by the way.)

Customer: *scowling and standing over me as I kneel* “You ever hear of Loctite?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I have heard of Loctite.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you should USE some.”

Me: *incredulous* “Sir, I’ve been doing this for 10 years. This is my job. The brake arm already uses a nylock nut. Anyway, it looks like the shift pin’s fallen out, too. Let me see if I have a spare.”

(This gives me a chance to go in the back and look for the part, and for him to get out of my face and cool down. Since I was 99% sure this was a case of him (or someone else) removing the rear wheel and then being unable to reinstall it, I thought I’d offer him some tips.)

Me: *wheeling the bike out of the service area* “Well, I got it all hooked back up. Thank goodness I did have one of those pins.”

Customer: *silent, pensive, already looking a bit sheepish*

Me: “It’s the darndest thing, really, for both that housing bolt and the brake arm to have loosened up at the same time, but they’re both up to proper torque now. I can’t imagine that happening again. If for some crazy reason that housing does loosen up, or if you’re removing the wheel, take care not to lose or bend that shift pin though. Anyway, I’m sorry you had to deal with this, but of course that’s why we offer a warranty on all new bikes for the first year. If there’s anything else you need or if something goes out of adjustment, don’t hesitate to bring it back.”

Customer: *mumbled thanks*

Me: *cheerily* “…and have fun out there!

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