Category: Transportation

Really Needed That Energy Drink

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Transportation

(Working as a cashier at a gas station when a woman pulls up, hops out of her car, and runs inside. She is obviously in a hurry. I ring her up and she leaves, only to turn around and come back in.)

Customer: “Where is my car?”

Me: “I don’t know. Where did you leave it?”

Customer: “Right there.”

(She points out the window to the spot just outside the door where she had exited her vehicle just a few minutes before. I walk over, poke my head outside, and look around the lot.)

Me: “Is that it?”

(I pointed to the far end of the lot where her vehicle had smashed into a secondary building that housed the automated car wash. Apparently she was in such a hurry to buy her energy drink or whatever that she neglected to turn off the car. She also neglected to put the vehicle into park when she exited. The car wash was fine.)

The Lord Himself Will Not Move That Car

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion, Transportation

(I work as the receptionist at a church, on a day when no one else is there. Because I am young, and working alone on everyone else’s day off, what I am allowed to do is very limited. I am 16, but look about 14.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “I need to see who is in charge!”

Me: “It’s our priest’s day off, I’m sorry. There’s just me, and I—”

Customer: “There is someone in my parking spot!”

Me: “We share the lot in the back with a few other businesses, so if someone—”

Customer: “THERE IS A GREEN TRUCK IN MY PARKING SPOT.”

Me: “Is it a green pickup with a dent in the door?”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s in my spot.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I’m a little confused, because you just described my car. It’s in a church spot, and it has a [Church]’s permit on the dashboard.”

Customer: “We are a new business that moved in where the Boy’s and Girl’s club was! We are entitled to spaces in the parking lot!”

Me: “The spaces with the signs that say, ‘Boy’s and Girl’s Club Parking Only’ are probably yours. Ours say ‘[Church] Parking Only,’ and I’m in a [Church]’s spot.”

Customer: “It’s not your lot. It’s the city’s lot. We only get two spaces and the church has six and the one that has the green truck should be ours!”

(She’s getting louder and I’m getting concerned.)

Me: “We’re a large building and all the spots in the left aisle have been ours since we built the parking lot. The city doesn’t own it. We do, and we rent the other six spaces to—”

Customer: “I want to talk to someone in charge!”

Me: “I can leave a note but I’m the only person in this entire building, so if I can’t help you, you’ll need to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Can you do ANYTHING to help me?”

Me: *listing one of the two things I’m allowed to do* “I can leave an urgent note for the priest to call you, and she’ll get back to you first thing in the morning tomorrow to talk about this.”

Customer: “That’s no help. What can you do right now?”

Me: *listing the other thing* “I can unlock the sanctuary so you can have meditative time with the Lord?”

Customer: “I don’t want religion. I want that parking space! There’s a number on the sign. I’m going to tow that car!”

(My car did not get towed.)

Doesn’t Have Tow-tal Recall

| Berlin, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Transportation

(I own a garage in a small town. We get a call about a woman stranded on the side of the road. It’s from her roadside assistance company whom we’ve done work for before so it’s a no-cost tow for her. They bring her car in and we get it into the garage. Her car starts up, but can’t seem to rev up past an idle and won’t go faster than a few miles per hour, basically moving like you had it in gear and took your foot off the brake. I gladly take a look at it and within a minute I see the problem. The throttle linkage has come loose. Easy fix, but my policy is that if it came off once, then it might be a little worn and might do it again at a later date. I check my parts distributer and see that it’s a $15 part.)

Me: “Ma’am, the problem is the throttle linkage. It came loose. I put it back on, but since it fell off once it might fall off again. I don’t have that part in stock, but I can get it in by Monday and it’ll take all of five minutes to swap it out. Since your tow was from [Roadside Assistance] there’s no charge to you. I’m not going to bother with labor for a two-minute fix. You can take your car and head home, no charge, but I’d be careful as this could happen again. I suggest you let me order the part and have you come back in when it arrives. That would be $15 for the part and again, I’m not going to charge you for the labor.”

Customer: *flips out totally* “How DARE you try to screw me out of my hard earned money with your mechanical scams!”

Me: *hands her the keys* “The car is working. No charge. Good day.”

(I walk back into the garage and get back to work on one of the other cars. A few hours later I get a call from the roadside assistance company.)

Roadside Assistance: “We are calling to explain that if you’re going to be scamming and price gouging the customers, we’re no longer going to use you in the future.”

Me: “Is this about the woman you had towed earlier today?”

Roadside Assistance: “It is.”

Me: *sighing* “It was a disconnected throttle linkage. I pulled back the retaining clip and slipped it onto where it is supposed to be. It literally took me longer to explain it just then than it took to do it. I charged her nothing for the repair and since the tow was on you guys, no charge there. I DID say to her that if it came off once it might come off again in the future and that it might not be a bad idea to get a new one at a cost of $15, and again, with no charge for labor since it would take maybe five minutes. At that point, for this to not be any less price gouging I’d have to pay her to let me fix her car for her.”

Roadside Assistance: “Umm… Well… I see. We’re putting a note into her account and we appreciate what you have done for her. She was telling us that you tried to charge her for the tow and was going to ‘make her fork over $600 to replace half the engine.’ I’m sorry for wasting your time and we look forward to working with you in the future.”

(That was the first time I wished a customer’s car would go boots up on them.)

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Slightly Bending (Over) The Truth

| Leiden, The Netherlands | Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a visitor center, where I arrange the group activities. In the beginning of September, a customer booked a canal cruise in an open boat with her group of 30 participants. Almost two months later, I receive this e-mail from her:)

Customer: “I would like to give some feedback on our activity in September. During our canal cruise, the skipper of our boat was very clumsy because he collided several times against the wall.”

(I directly contacted thecruise company; the manager and I know each other very well. I send him the customer’s complaint by mail and I get an answer almost immediately:)

Manager: “Haha, yes, I remember this cruise and customer! Oh, my god, that this customer is blaming our skipper! During the cruise, the boat will pass a lot of bridges, so before passing one bridge, the whole group had to bend over because of the low bridge. One customer exaggerated while bending over and hit the throttle! You can guess what happened then…”

Having A Flight Of Fancy

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a call centre for a well-known airline.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Airline]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to change my flight; reference is [random succession of numbers].”

Me: “Okay, the number you have provided is not a [Airline] reference. Did you book through a travel agent or third party website?”

Customer: “No, it’s actually a reference for [Different Airline]. Can’t you change it? You all fly planes anyway.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but we operate on an in-house system only used by this airline. I cannot change another airline’s booking through our system. You will need to call the airline direct. Would you like me to try and locate a number?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Where is your customer service? I have never had my intelligence insulted so badly. Where is your manager? I’ve done something wrong on my booking and it NEEDS to be changed. Change my booking now!”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we are very busy today and our managers are busy dealing with customers of our airline. You will need to call the airline you made the booking with and they will be able to change it for you. Was there anything else?”

Customer: “I will write to your CEO and complain! This is ridiculous. Change my f****** booking right now or I’ll call your manager and get you fired! Where is your customer service, you uneducated p***k?! I am telling you right now, CHANGE MY BOOKING! You all fly F****** PLANES! YOU. FLY. PLANES. It can’t be that f****** hard! I am not calling another airline’s PREMIUM RATE NUMBER when your number is free and you can do it anyway!”

Me: “Ah, so the problem is you don’t want to pay. Well then, sir, in future I suggest checking the price to call before you make a mistake on a booking in future. Now if you don’t mind, I have customers of THIS airline to attend to. Goodbye.”

(I could almost feel him having a mini-aneurism through the phone, along with his white-hot rage at being wrong. Don’t you just love customers?!)

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