Category: Transportation

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Their Consideration Comes Crashing Down

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I’m on bike patrol when I hear on the radio that a man suffered a heart attack while driving and crashed his truck in the middle of a busy bridge in our city. I pedal over to offer any assistance for traffic control, and see that there are two ambulances already arrived and the paramedics are actively performing CPR on the driver in the middle of the road. The regular patrol officers are diverting traffic carefully but slowly past the scene, so I pedal back to the beginning of the bridge to signal drivers to slow down as they approach.)

Man: *in his car, rolling down window* “Hey! What the f*** is the hold up here?!”

Me: “There was a crash on the bridge up ahead.”

Man: “Well, they should really do something about the f****** traffic!”

Me: “Sir, I think they’re doing the best they can, but like I said, there was a CRASH on the bridge. I think they’re a bit preoccupied at this moment.”

Man: “Well, they need to do something about this f****** traffic! I have places to be and s*** to do! This is f****** bull-s***!”

Me: “SIR, there are paramedics up there right now, doing CPR on someone as we speak! You’re just going to have to be patient.”

Man: “I don’t see why I should be inconvenienced because of this! You people need to do your jobs and move the f****** traffic!”

Me: “EXCUSE ME, SIR! There is someone up there, RIGHT NOW, actively DYING in the middle of the road. So just SIMMER DOWN and shut up, because your problems are just not that important right now!”

Man: “Well, they’re important to me!”

(He rolled up his window with a scowl and continued honking, making impatient gestures, and easing as obnoxiously close to the car in front of him as possible the entire time it took him to get past the scene of the crash.)

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Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 2

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Caller: “Hey, I just got a text from [Rental Company] saying my truck was stolen, but that doesn’t make any sense because I just returned it.”

Me: “Really? Dang, that sounds terrible! When was the last time you saw it?”

Caller: “Well, see, I’m not the one who turned it in; it was my brother. I gave him the keys and he took it to the [Rental Company] place and dropped it off after hours.”

Me: “I… see. And do you happen to know how exactly he went about that?”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t know. He parked it in front of your lot.”

Me: “Sir, can you tell me exactly WHERE he parked it?”

Caller: “Well, see, the center was closed, and he didn’t want to trespass or nothing, so he left it on the edge of that gas station right next door to you.”

Me: “Sir, he didn’t leave it on our premises, so it wasn’t turned in properly.”

Caller: “Hey, he sent me pictures. I’m not responsible for this. My brother turned it in, and I can prove he did.”

Me: “Did he make sure to turn in the key?”

Caller: “How was he supposed to do that? You were closed.”

Me: “Sir, there’s an after-hours drop box where you’re supposed to leave your key. You’re telling me he didn’t turn in the key?”

Caller: “No, man! He left it in the center console!”

Me: “…and he didn’t lock the doors?”

Caller: “Well, he wasn’t going to lock the keys in. That’d be pretty stupid, right?”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Anyway, I got pictures, so I can prove my brother turned it in. I won’t be held responsible, and I ain’t paying any damn fees.”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “So we’re good, right? I did my part. I called it in. Now it’s your problem.”

Me: “Sir, it is absolutely still your problem. That truck was stolen due to negligence. You should have told your brother how to turn it in, or else drove it in yourself. It’s still your name on the rental.”

Caller: “No way! I got pictures! I can prove he turned it in! You can’t make me pay for this! It wasn’t my fault! That truck was there, right in front of your place last night! Do you want me to send you the pictures he took?”

Me: “Sir, did you get the text from [Rental Company] before or after your brother sent you the pictures?”

Caller: “Oh, I got the text WAY after, but it doesn’t matter because we turned it in.”

Me: “Let me transfer you to customer service…”

Related:

Doesn’t Give A Truck

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Doesn’t Give A Truck

AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Caller: “Hey, my tire just blew out, and I need a tow truck.”

Me: “Oh, dear! Let me get you over to roadside assistance. They can help you out.”

Caller: “Why can’t you help me? Aren’t you at [Rental Company]?”

Me: “I’m with the sales department, sir. You need to talk to roadside assistance.”

Caller: “Well, why don’t you sell me something, then? Can’t you rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t rent those out.”

Caller: “But I know you guys have one. I saw it on your lot. Just name your price!”

Me: “Sir, even if I could rent it out to you, how would you get there to pick it up if your truck has a flat?”

Caller: “Oh, I’ll just walk.”

Me: “You’ll what? How far away are you, sir?”

Caller: “Oh, we haven’t even left the parking lot. I can see your office from here.”

Me: “You… uh…”

Caller: “Is this John? Can you tell him to come over here and rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “Sir… why don’t you just walk over to the office and ask?”

Caller: “Well, it’s hot outside, and I didn’t want to leave the truck if I didn’t have to.”

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Bordering On Ridiculous

| The Hague, Netherlands | Transportation

(Our national touring club has an alarm call centre of its own. I’m doing the so-called intake of foreign calls, getting people on the phone with a broken car or motorbike all over Europe.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Touring Club] alarm centre. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *thick Twente accent* “Hello. We had a breakdown here in Belgium, and a towing truck came and brought us to a depannage. Could you send someone over?”

(Usually, a car having been towed means it’s an existing case and we already called out for help. But this sounds different.)

Me: “Let me see. Did you already give us a phone call about your problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “No, I just used one of those emergency phones on the roadside. They said I had to call you about payment and sending a repairman.”

Me: “All right, so it’s a new call. Let’s start filling in the case file, shall we?”

(Over the phone, I ask her for several things. However, no valid insurance policy pops up. They’re only insured for Dutch Road Guard, not for help in other countries.)

Me: “Ma’am, is it right you only have a policy for help in the Netherlands?”

Caller: “Yes, but the man of the towing truck said it wouldn’t matter, since it’s all the same.”

Me: “Not quite, but let me see what I can do.”

(I put her on hold. With all the information about their location and everything I go to my superior. Note that for some foreign people, the Netherlands and Belgium might seem like dwarf states, but that for us, half way through Belgium is considered quite far from the border.)

Superior: “Well, they should have had an insurance policy for Europe. We can’t cover for any Belgian help. The only thing we could do is send some Dutch road guard over, but only if they are close to the border. Where are they now?”

Me: “[Town].”

Superior: “Sounds Francophone. I bet it’s a town in Wallonia.” *Southern, French-speaking half of Belgium*

Me: “Yeah, it’s near Liege.”

Superior: “That’s too far away. We can’t send help.”

Me: “Fine. The Belgian tow company apparently said it didn’t matter.”

Superior: “Then he was wrong.”

(I get back to the phone.)

Me: “Sorry to keep you waiting, ma’am. Unfortunately it turns out there’s very little I can do. Since you’re not insured for foreign road guard we can’t cover the costs for you.”

Caller: “I see… after 25 years of membership and never having any trouble.”

(Some people really think that being a longtime member of anything gives you privileges. However, I think the rules just apply for everyone, unless the rules say differently.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am.”

Caller: “Well, then this ends our conversation.”

Me: “Very well, ma’am.”

Caller: “Is it possible I could withdraw my membership right now over the phone?!”

Me: “No, ma’am. You’d have to call our service department.”

(A Dutch saying says: “Give them one finger and they take your entire hand.” To be honest, some people just think they already have the entire hand. When finding out they don’t, they don’t want the finger anymore either.)

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I Tyre Of These Questions

| UK | Money, Transportation

(I’m one of the sales guys at a caravan dealership. A customer asks me for a part exchange value on his caravan against a new one.)

Customer: “It’s absolutely pristine! Like new.”

Me: “Okay, as you don’t have the caravan with you, I can give you a value by asking you some questions on an appraisal questionnaire we have.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(There are lots of questions on the form but I’ll cut to the most entertaining ones.)

Me: “How are the windows? Any cracks? Scratches?”

Customer: “No, no… Oh, one of the front ones has a stone chip hole in it.”

Me: “Okay, how about the furniture inside? Tables, work surfaces all okay?”

Customer: “Yes, all good… Oh, the work surface has a dent in it.”

Me: “Okay, how about the tyres? Are they less than five years old?”

Customer: “I’m not prepared to answer that.”

Me: “Why? They have a date code so we can check them.”

Customer: “Are the tyres on the caravans you sell less than five years old?”

Me: “Yes. If they are older we change them for new ones before we sell the caravan.”

Customer: “Oh, right, do you? Well I’m not prepared to say.”

Me: “Okay, has your caravan been serviced recently?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know when it was last serviced?”

Customer: “When we bought it.”

Me: “When was that?”

Customer: “2012.”

Me: “Okay, based on what you’ve told me, your caravan would have a trade in value of £[amount].”

Customer: “What!? That’s nowhere near enough! It’s pristine!”

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