Category: Transportation

It’s Going To Be A Long Overnight

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah I’d like a refund on my shipping ’cause it was late.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Can I get your tracking number, please?”

(The customer gives me the tracking number and it looks like it arrived on time.)

Me: “It looks like you selected to two-day delivery on this shipment. This package left had a commitment to be delivered on the third by 12 and it got there at 10:30.”

Customer: “That’s not two-day shipping. I shipped it out on the first so it should get delivered on the second day, the second. It’s late.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that would be an overnight shipment not—”

Customer: “Why would I want to pay an overnight fee to get it delivered on the next day?! I’m not an idiot!”

(This is where I begin to lose my cherub-like demeanor.)

Me: “Look, you shipped it on the first with a two transit day delivery option. So the first and the second are the transit days, and the third is the delivery.”

Customer: “No, that’s wrong. You’re saying three-day shipping! I wanted two! If it ships on the first, it gets delivered on the second!”

(I’m nearing the end of my talk time so I try something different…appealing to his logical side.)

Me: “Okay, so if you ship overnight, when will it get there?”

Customer: “Duh! The next day.”

Me: “Right! Perfect! Okay, what about two-day? When would that get there if overnight gets there the next day?”

(Silence for 10 seconds…)

Customer: “The next! You can’t trick me! I’m not stupid! Gimme my money back!”

Weighed Down By Your Thumbs Up

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: “Do ya’ll sell concrete?”

Me: “Yes, it’s in aisle 32 on the left, about 1/4 of the way down.”

Customer: “I need 80 bags.”

Me: “80 bags of 50lb bags, or 80lb bags?”

Customer: “80 bags, please.”

(I tell him to take the item number to the cashier, and I’d bring it out on the forklift as soon as it’s paid for.)

Me: “Sir, what are you driving?”

Customer: “That little red truck.”

Me: “Uhm… sir, that’ll crush your truck.”

Customer: “No, it won’t. I’ve hauled 150 bags with this truck.”

Me: “Sir, that’s 6400 pounds in the bed of a truck.”

Customer: “Just load it. I’m in a hurry.”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to call our manager and ask him about it.”

(The manager comes and I explain.)

Manager: “Sir, that’ll smash that little truck, but we can load it. All I need you to do is look at the camera and give a thumbs up?”

Customer: “Why?”

Manager: “So when we crush your truck, we won’t be held responsible since you didn’t listen to our advice.”

(The customer gives a thumbs up, and I load the truck. It doesn’t smash the truck. With a smug look, the customer goes to drive away, until the rear end falls out from under the truck.)

Customer: “What the h***?! You’re going to replace the truck!”

Manager: “You gave consent, and the video camera you gave a thumbs up to also records audio.”

Me: *still laughing* “Told you.”

Little Car, Big Idiot

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I need wiper blades.”

Me: “For what kind of car?”

Customer: “Jeep.”

Me: “…What kind of jeep?”

(Blank stare.)

Me: “Is it a Cherokee, Wrangler, Patriot?”

Customer: “It’s one of the little ones.”