Category: Transportation

Should Wind-Screen Calls

| Columbus, OH, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Transportation

(I work in auto glass sales. This happens at least once a day:)

Caller: “Yeah, uh, I need a glass replacement?”

Me: “Alright, we can help with that. Is it being billed through insurance or a commercial account?”

Caller: “Insurance.”

Me: “What insurance are you with?”

Caller: “Uh, I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you have a card you can look at?”

Caller: “Nah, I don’t have insurance yet.”

Me: “Unfortunately that would be fraud then. I can put it through cash, if you’d like.”

Caller: “F*** you people! I just want a d*** windshield!” *click*

Not A Strong Parental Drive

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Transportation

(I am a technician. I am given an SUV to perform a brake job. I hop in the car and drive it into the shop when I glance in the rear view mirror and spot a small boy strapped into his carseat. He smiles and waves at me. I whip around and look at him with a dumbfounded look.)

Me: “Uhh. Why are you in here?”

Boy: “Mommy said I can stay in the car.”

Me: “I think your mother was mistaken.”

(I roll down the window and shout for my shop foreman. He walks up and his jaw drops. I un-strap the child much to his dismay, and walk him into the lobby while holding his hand.)

Mother: “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY CHILD! I’M CALLING THE COPS!”

Me: “Don’t shout at me. Why on earth did you think leaving your son in your car was a good idea? Do you have any idea how hot it was in your vehicle by the time I got into it?!”

Mother: “He’s restless. The only time he calms down is when he can nap in the car! WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM OUT?!”

Me: “Ma’am. I am not leaving a child in a hot car five feet in the air while I perform service on it.”

Shop Foreman: “Go ahead, ma’am… Call the police, and explain to them why your son’s energy is reason enough to leave him in a hot car with the windows up… I think they might side with us.”

(She sputters profanity at us for about 30 seconds before storming out of the store looking for her car.)

Shop Foreman: *to me* “Are you gonna back her car out?”

Me: “I was thinking of going to lunch, actually.”

It’s Going To Be A Long Overnight

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah I’d like a refund on my shipping ’cause it was late.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Can I get your tracking number, please?”

(The customer gives me the tracking number and it looks like it arrived on time.)

Me: “It looks like you selected to two-day delivery on this shipment. This package left had a commitment to be delivered on the third by 12 and it got there at 10:30.”

Customer: “That’s not two-day shipping. I shipped it out on the first so it should get delivered on the second day, the second. It’s late.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that would be an overnight shipment not—”

Customer: “Why would I want to pay an overnight fee to get it delivered on the next day?! I’m not an idiot!”

(This is where I begin to lose my cherub-like demeanor.)

Me: “Look, you shipped it on the first with a two transit day delivery option. So the first and the second are the transit days, and the third is the delivery.”

Customer: “No, that’s wrong. You’re saying three-day shipping! I wanted two! If it ships on the first, it gets delivered on the second!”

(I’m nearing the end of my talk time so I try something different…appealing to his logical side.)

Me: “Okay, so if you ship overnight, when will it get there?”

Customer: “Duh! The next day.”

Me: “Right! Perfect! Okay, what about two-day? When would that get there if overnight gets there the next day?”

(Silence for 10 seconds…)

Customer: “The next! You can’t trick me! I’m not stupid! Gimme my money back!”

Weighed Down By Your Thumbs Up

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: “Do ya’ll sell concrete?”

Me: “Yes, it’s in aisle 32 on the left, about 1/4 of the way down.”

Customer: “I need 80 bags.”

Me: “80 bags of 50lb bags, or 80lb bags?”

Customer: “80 bags, please.”

(I tell him to take the item number to the cashier, and I’d bring it out on the forklift as soon as it’s paid for.)

Me: “Sir, what are you driving?”

Customer: “That little red truck.”

Me: “Uhm… sir, that’ll crush your truck.”

Customer: “No, it won’t. I’ve hauled 150 bags with this truck.”

Me: “Sir, that’s 6400 pounds in the bed of a truck.”

Customer: “Just load it. I’m in a hurry.”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to call our manager and ask him about it.”

(The manager comes and I explain.)

Manager: “Sir, that’ll smash that little truck, but we can load it. All I need you to do is look at the camera and give a thumbs up?”

Customer: “Why?”

Manager: “So when we crush your truck, we won’t be held responsible since you didn’t listen to our advice.”

(The customer gives a thumbs up, and I load the truck. It doesn’t smash the truck. With a smug look, the customer goes to drive away, until the rear end falls out from under the truck.)

Customer: “What the h***?! You’re going to replace the truck!”

Manager: “You gave consent, and the video camera you gave a thumbs up to also records audio.”

Me: *still laughing* “Told you.”

Little Car, Big Idiot

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I need wiper blades.”

Me: “For what kind of car?”

Customer: “Jeep.”

Me: “…What kind of jeep?”

(Blank stare.)

Me: “Is it a Cherokee, Wrangler, Patriot?”

Customer: “It’s one of the little ones.”

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