Category: Transportation

Just Ran Over (Very) Big Bird

| Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a flight attendant. Whilst turbulence sometimes happens, this flight was actually very smooth. One customer seems to think otherwise.)

Customer: *sounding slightly stressed* “Why is it so bumpy; it’s so very, very bumpy!”

Me: “Oh, we just ran over a bird.”

(Customer looked out of the window to try and spot the poor bird, even though we were at 35,000ft. I walked away before she worked it out…)

Gas-Trick Bypassed

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation, Trigger Story

(My relief shows up to give me a break just as I finish selling a young man gas. He leaves, and then comes back.)

Customer: “It’s not working.”

(I look at the screen and he’s hung up the nozzle. I redo the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

(Relief takes over and I walk outside. The customer gets my attention as I walk past him.)

Customer: “Ma’am, it’s still not working.”

(I approach and notice he’s pulled the nozzle from the next pump over and around.)


Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

My Advice Is Reliable

| MA, USA | Transportation

(Customers often call before their reservations to find out what models of car are available.)

Customer: “Hello, this is [Name]. I have a rental this afternoon.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I see your reservation right here.”

Customer: “What kind of car do you have for me?”

Me: “It looks like I have a [midsize, foreign-made car] for you today.”

Customer: “Is that a reliable car? I have to drive all the way to [Location two hours away].”

Me: “…Reliable? Yes, it’s reliable, ma’am.”

Customer: “But it won’t break down?”

(I reassured the customer that our cars are regularly maintained in general and that I had not had any complaints about the car I’m putting her in, which was true, but I really didn’t know what she was expecting me to say…)

Breaking Their Mentality

| CO, USA | Transportation

(I work in a gift shop located in a ski resort where 50% of the customers fly to the destination. We use plenty of tissue and bubble wrap for all of our gifts knowing this is the case.)

Customer: “I want to purchase these mugs. But I want to let you know I will be flying. Can you wrap them?”

Me: “Oh, yes, I have lots of bubble wrap for that.”

Customer: “Good! I want them wrapped so that the airlines CANNOT break them.”

Me: “Well, I can’t guarantee that; they can break anything.”

Customer: “Well, that’s how well I want them wrapped. I need to get them home. Do you have any cardboard boxes?”

Me: “I am sorry, I don’t, but I will give you lots of bubble wrap. Plus, may I suggest wrapping them in some of your clothing or a ski boot or helmet if you have those.”

(Most customers think we are geniuses when we suggest this and then once they see how much tissue we use they are satisfied. NOT this lady.)

Customer: “You just don’t understand. If I get these I want to make sure they get back in one piece.”

Me: *exasperated* “Well, maybe you shouldn’t get them if you are concerned.”

(At this point her husband calmed her down a bit by saying we would figure it out. They wound up buying but she still left the store mumbling about stores not guaranteeing you’ll get home with the product in one piece.)

Suffers From Bad Timing

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Time, Transportation

(I work in a hotel that offers a complimentary shuttle to the local area from 7 am to 10 pm. At 6:30 in the evening a guest comes down to inquire about our service.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Guest: “What time does the seven o’clock shuttle leave?”

(After a brief moment of silence.)

Me: “The seven o’clock shuttle normally leaves at seven o’clock.”

Guest: “Okay, so that’s seven pm right?”

Me: “Yes. The seven o’clock shuttle leaves twice a day. One at seven am and the other at seven pm.”

Guest: “I thought your shuttle runs more than that.”

Me: “It does, but it would no longer be the seven o’clock shuttle. Instead it would be the eight or nine o’clock one depending on when it was leaving.”

Guest: “Oh, I see. I didn’t realize you had more than one shuttle.”

(I remained silent as the guest walked away.)

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