Category: Transportation

Surprising Enterprising

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

Caller: “I need you to come down and fix a tire on my car. It’s flat.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’m a bit backed up at the moment, so it will be about an hour before I can come down.”

Caller: “I need to go to [Next Town Over] this afternoon so I need it fixed as soon as possible.”

Me: “That’s fine. I can take care of it by noon, but like I said I have customers here in the shop so I can’t just leave just yet.”

Caller: “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll call [Competitor] and see if he can come down, and whichever one of you gets here first gets the business.”

Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. If you call me down I expect to get the business because you asked me to fix your tire for you. If I get down there and someone else has already fixed it then I’d still have to charge you a service call fee.”

Caller: “What? I’m not paying you for not doing anything.”

Me: “You’re asking me to leave the shop and burn my gas to come down in hopes I get there first. I’m not going to play that game. If you want to call [Competitor] and have them do it instead I’ll understand, or you can wait an hour and I can come down.”

Caller: “I don’t see what the problem is. That’s free enterprise. If you get here first then I’ll pay you to fix it.”

Me: “And if I don’t get there first, I’ve wasted my time and money. ”

Caller: “That’s why you compete for business.”

Me: “We compete by providing better service and lower prices, not by who has the faster truck. You make an oral contract with a business, you should be willing to pay. You wouldn’t order a pizza from two different pizza places and tell them whoever delivered first gets your business, then expect the loser to just eat the costs.”

Caller: “Sounds okay to me. They should give better service.”

Me: “Well, anyway, do you want me to come down or not?”

Caller: “Okay. It’s [Address].”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be down there as fast as I can. Don’t call anyone else to fix it, or if you do call me back and let me know so I don’t waste time driving there.”

Caller: “One more thing… can I wait to pay you tomorrow?”

Me: *face-palm*

Jesus Doesn’t Get Tickets

| MD, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(My friend is playing Jesus in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar. After the performance, he changes into his own clothes, but doesn’t take off his stage makeup, including the fake blood from the crucifixion scene. While he is driving home, he is pulled over by the police.)

Police Officer: “License and registration, please.”

(As my friend hands the officer his license, the officer gets a good look at him.)

Police Officer: “Sir, are you all right? Do you need an ambulance?”

Friend: *confused because he forgot he was wearing the makeup* “Huh? Oh! I’m okay. This is makeup. I’m coming home from a performance.”

Police Officer: *so relieved that he apparently forgot why he pulled my friend over* “Oh, good. Well, drive safely and have a good night!”

Needs To Park That Attitude

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work as a cart attendant. My store has a strip of red paired curb that is a fire lane in which no parking is allowed. I see a customer parked in this area.)

Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry but you can’t park here as this is a fire lane.”

Customer: “I’m not parked. I’m waiting for my wife to come out. I’m still in the car.”

Me: “Sir, even if you are still in the car, the car is not moving and is therefore parked.”

Customer: “The car is not parked! I’m still in it! So f*** off!”

Me: “Sir, what gear is your car in right now?”

Customer: “It’s in park, you moron!”

Me: “Then in that case the car is considered parked. Please move away from the fire lane or I will have your car towed.”

(The fuming customer finally moved, glaring at me as he did so.)

Making A Classic Mistake

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time, Transportation

(It is the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy being assassinated and one of the local papers has reprinted their edition from that afternoon, complete with the actual advertisements that ran in the paper. A customer comes into our car dealership inquiring about one of the ads….)

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling about the ad I saw in [Newspaper] about the new [Car Model] from [Our Dealership] for only $3,000 and I’d like to get one.”

Me: “Sir, that is an ad in a special commemorative reprint from 1963. That offer is exactly 50 years old, to the day. It’s long expired.”

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re offering cars for $3,000; you’d better give me one.”

Me: “Sir, if we get a 1963 [Car Model] in stock anytime soon, I’ll give you a call and sell it to you for $3,000, okay?”

Wish You Could Part Ways

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: *after complaining how dealers and garages are all out to take your money and burn you* “So you are telling me you cannot fix my car?”

Mechanic: “We can fix your car; we just do not have the parts.”

Customer: “Why do you not have the parts? It is a standard part!”

Mechanic: “We do not carry parts for your vehicle. Your car is [X brand]. We are a [Y dealership] and garage. Our parts are not for your vehicle.”

Customer: “But you are a garage!”

Mechanic: “Yes for [Y vehicles], so we stock only [Y vehicle] parts.”

Customer: “So you do not have my part?”

Mechanic: “No, but we can get it.”

Customer: “If you can get it, why do you not stock it?”

Mechanic: “Because are a [Y dealership] garage. Your car is an [X brand]. If you want the parts to be in stock you need to go to an [X dealership] garage.”

Customer: “But you can get the parts so you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “Look, when the [X dealership] garage opens and the parts stores open, we will make a few calls, find the part, and send a driver out to get it.”

Customer: “If you can get the parts you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “We do not stock parts for cars that are not [Y cars]. We are not a parts store or an [X vehicle] dealer.”

Customer: “So I guess you are going to screw me over and make me wait until other stores open so you can get a part you should have in stock.”

Mechanic: “As soon as we can we will get to work or you can take your car to an [X dealer].”

Customer: “Fix it. OH, and I have a coupon.”

Mechanic: “We cannot accept it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Mechanic: “Because it is for [Y vehicles] only. See it says right here. “Valid for [Y vehicles].”

Customer: “So you will not stock my parts and you will not accept a coupon!”

Mechanic: “…”

Customer: “So can you fix my car?”

Mechanic: “As soon as we get the part here which may be an hour or two.”

Customer: “You really need to keep my parts in stock!”

Mechanic: “Sir, we are not a… Forget it. Just have a seat; you will be called when it is ready.”

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