Category: Transportation

Needs A Ticket Out Of Monday Morning

| Wales | Funny Names, Transportation

(I’m not quite awake yet and getting the bus to town.)

Me: “Single to [Village], please.”

Bus Driver: “This is [Village].”

Me: “Oh… sorry. Single to [Town], please.”

Bus Driver: “It’s okay. It’s Monday morning.”


Take Ownership Of Your Crime

| MD, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I am a police officer, and have a woman pulled over on the side of the road for speeding, going almost 55 in a 30 school zone.)

Me: “You were speeding in a school zone so you will be getting a ticket; I need you to sign here, please.”

Woman: “Seriously? You can’t cut me a break?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can’t. I just need you to sign here…”

Woman: *growing more irate* “This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to pay this ticket! This isn’t even my car!”

Me: “So, if you got in an accident driving at such an excess speed, you’re not responsible because this isn’t your car even though you’re in control of the car.”

Woman: “Well…”

Me: “We’re right across the street from an elementary school. If you hit one of these kids walking down the street you couldn’t be charged with vehicular manslaughter because this isn’t your car?”

Woman: “…”

Me: “Sign here, please.”


2001: A Honda Odyssey

, | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Time, Transportation

(I work in an inbound call center, handling customers who want quotes for new policies.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, what’s the year of that first vehicle?”

Woman: “Oh? It’s a 20… 20… Let me check.”

Me: “Take your time.”

Woman: “It’s a 2020! Yes, a 2020.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s possible, ma’am. Could it be 2002?”

Woman: “No! It’s a 2020!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but those haven’t been invented yet. We’re still a few years off.”

Woman: “It’s a 20… Oh. 2001.”


Just Ran Over (Very) Big Bird

| Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a flight attendant. Whilst turbulence sometimes happens, this flight was actually very smooth. One customer seems to think otherwise.)

Customer: *sounding slightly stressed* “Why is it so bumpy; it’s so very, very bumpy!”

Me: “Oh, we just ran over a bird.”

(Customer looked out of the window to try and spot the poor bird, even though we were at 35,000ft. I walked away before she worked it out…)


Gas-Trick Bypassed

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation, Trigger Story

(My relief shows up to give me a break just as I finish selling a young man gas. He leaves, and then comes back.)

Customer: “It’s not working.”

(I look at the screen and he’s hung up the nozzle. I redo the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

(Relief takes over and I walk outside. The customer gets my attention as I walk past him.)

Customer: “Ma’am, it’s still not working.”

(I approach and notice he’s pulled the nozzle from the next pump over and around.)


Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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