Category: Transportation

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In An Odd Interstate Of Mind

| WV, USA | Geography, Popular, Transportation

(I work at a gas station on the side of the interstate. To get back on the interstate, one simply continues driving straight, guided by cones, signs, and post. An older man approaches the gas station; I have the employee door unlocked as I have just swept the office. The customer looks at “employees only” sign and walks in anyway.)

Me: “Sir, you’ll need to go to the front doors. This is the employee door.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” *walks to front* “You see that car over there?”

(I look outside to the twelve cars sitting at pumps.)

Me: “Which one, sir?”

Customer: “That maroon one?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “I’d like $30 on that pump.”

(I ring up the transaction.)

Customer: “How do I get back on the interstate?

Me: “You just head straight. Follow the cones and posts and the sign that says ‘Exit Here.’”

Customer: “Okay! So, I go back that way?” *points the opposite direction*

Me: “No, sir, that way.” *points to the correct direction*

Customer: “Okay, I’m trying to get to West Virginia, you see.”

Me: “Sir, you are in West Virginia.”

Customer: “No, this is North Carolina!”

Me: “No, sir, this IS West Virginia.”

Customer: “How do you know?”

Me: “I live here?”

Customer: “You need to learn your geography.” *leaves*

Me: “What just… what just happened?”

Needs A Ticket Out Of Monday Morning

| Wales | Funny Names, Transportation

(I’m not quite awake yet and getting the bus to town.)

Me: “Single to [Village], please.”

Bus Driver: “This is [Village].”

Me: “Oh… sorry. Single to [Town], please.”

Bus Driver: “It’s okay. It’s Monday morning.”

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Take Ownership Of Your Crime

| MD, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I am a police officer, and have a woman pulled over on the side of the road for speeding, going almost 55 in a 30 school zone.)

Me: “You were speeding in a school zone so you will be getting a ticket; I need you to sign here, please.”

Woman: “Seriously? You can’t cut me a break?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can’t. I just need you to sign here…”

Woman: *growing more irate* “This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to pay this ticket! This isn’t even my car!”

Me: “So, if you got in an accident driving at such an excess speed, you’re not responsible because this isn’t your car even though you’re in control of the car.”

Woman: “Well…”

Me: “We’re right across the street from an elementary school. If you hit one of these kids walking down the street you couldn’t be charged with vehicular manslaughter because this isn’t your car?”

Woman: “…”

Me: “Sign here, please.”