Category: Transportation

They See Me Co-rolling, They Hatin’

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Transportation

(A customer pulls up in an early-’80s Toyota Corolla. It’s a beautiful car to an enthusiast, so I just have to compliment it.)

Me: “I love your car!”

Customer: “Go to h***.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that sarcastically at all. I have a soft spot for classic Japanese cars, and yours is in great condition for its age. Are you the original owner?”

Customer: “Okay, it’s not funny! Just shut the f— up and let me pump.”

(Another customer pulls up a few seconds later and also compliments the car. The first customer flips him off and drives away in a hurry.)

Customer #2: “It’s sad when they don’t know what they have.”

Me: “Yeah, it definitely is.”

Losing Your Delivery By The Minute

| Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I’m a delivery driver for a sandwich shop that is known for its speed. It is important to me that I get to the customer and back to the shop for various professional reasons. Today I made a delivery to an office. It’s the weekend so they left a note on the ticket to call them. This is not unusual as offices are usually locked so the customer has to come outside and meet me. I call the customer and this is the conversation.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Store]. I’m in the lobby.”

Customer: “Cool, I’ll be right there. I’m just around the corner.”

(I waited….. and waited. He wasn’t at the address. He was out making deliveries of his own. When my area manager asked why I was gone for 20 minutes at a location less than a mile from our own and I explained, his jaw hit the floor. I didn’t get in trouble, and I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for that customer again. He didn’t even tip me, too!)

Timely Flights Of Fancy

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I’m on the phone with a customer inquiring about flights to a certain destination. Airline #1 has multiple flights per day, while Airline #2 flies once per day.)

Me: “So the cheapest flight for [Airline #1] flying to [Destination] is £[Total], and the cheapest flight for [Airline #2] is £[Total].”

Customer: “Why does [Airline #2] only fly to [Destination] once per day?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t like the times for [Airline #2]. Can’t I fly at a different time?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have no control over how often airline companies schedule their flights. If you want to arrive by a certain time, [Airline #1] would be the better option.”

Customer: “I still don’t get it. Why doesn’t [Airline #2] fly to [Destination] more often? Their counter at the airport is much bigger than [Airline #1]!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: *trying to keep a straight face while talking* “No, ma’am, the size of the check-in counter has no relation to how many flights an airline has.”

Saying It Until They’re Blue

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I work in a major auto parts store. One night, I am working with the manager, and we are getting ready to close the store up. Five minutes before close, a customer walks in and my manager greets him.)

Manager: “How you doing tonight? Can I help you with something?

Customer: “Yeah, I need brake pads.”

Manager: “Great. What kind of car do you have?”

Customer: “That blue one right there.” *pointing at the front door*

(It’s dark outside, and neither one of us can tell what kind of car it is.)

Manager: “Okay. What kind of car is it?”

Customer: “It’s that blue car, RIGHT THERE!”

Manager: “I can’t see the car. What kind of car is it?” *getting obviously irritated*

Customer: “That BLUE ONE, RIGHT. F***ING. THERE!” *pointing angrily*

Manager: “Oh! THAT blue car?” *grabs a random set of brake pads from the shelf and slams them down on the counter* “Here ya go!”

Customer: “Are those going to fit my car?!”

Manager: “They fit blue ones!”

(We proceeded to laugh hysterically as he stormed out of the store.)

A Different Kind Of Stockholm Syndrome

| Stockholm, Sweden | Transportation

(I am taking a train from Stockholm to Malmö, a five-hour ride. About an hour after departure, a very upset middle-aged woman storms up to a conductor.)

Woman: “This is outrageous; you need to help us right now! I spoke to your colleague but he was completely useless and didn’t help us at all!”

Conductor #1: “How may I help you?”

Woman: “Well, you need to fix us somewhere to sit. Apparently our seats were double-booked and your colleague got us other seats but not together. I refuse to sit there. I want to sit with my family in the seats we booked.”

(The woman goes on complaining for about ten minutes, while the conductor tries to find her family other seats, only to be yelled at when those aren’t acceptable. The woman does not want to sit near other children, she does not want to sit too far from the bistro, and she does not want to ride backwards, etc. After a while, another conductor comes up to them and tries to solve the situation.)

Conductor #2: “Sorry. I will try to fix this for you, but there are no more available seats than the ones you have already been offered.”

Woman: “Well, this is just unacceptable; I can’t believe you let the other people have our seats just because they got here first, when CLEARLY they cheated somehow to manage to book the seats I had already booked!”

Conductor #1: “But you did say they offered to move?”

Woman: “Well, yes, they… two of them did offer to move but then the seats they moved to also turned out to be booked, and the people who had booked them got on at the last stop, so now it is still a problem. I AM going to complain to your company and I WILL get compensation for this, and I WILL get you fired too for being this unhelpful!”

Conductor #2: “May I see your ticket, so that I can see which seats you had originally booked?”

(The woman hands her a sheet of paper.)

Conductor #2: “No, not your return ticket to Stockholm, I need to see the ticket for this journey.”

Woman: “What do you mean? This is the ticket for this journey, to Stockholm.”

Conductor #2: “This is the train from Stockholm. We are southbound. If you are going to Stockholm, you are on the wrong train.”

Woman: “…oh. Well, this train showed up first. How was I supposed to know?”

(She was very quiet for the rest of her journey, and she and her family left the train at the next stop to find a train heading for Stockholm.)

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