Category: Transportation


You Are The Reason We Need A Holiday

| Oslo, Norway | Holidays, Transportation

(I’m the owner of a small auto garage. In Norway it is common for most people to have their summer holiday in July. It’s also common that most businesses close down for the time, and so do we. I get a phone call on the 29th of June, two days before the summer holiday season.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m a customer at [Competing Garage] but they are closing for summer holiday on Friday and can not help me. Can you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are also closing on Friday and have more than enough to do serving our own customers.”

Customer: “Okay, do you know anyone that can help me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, my best advice is that you go to Yellow Pages –” *business register* “– and call around to see if anyone can help you.”

(The customer totally exploded and yelled at me.)

Customer: “Why the h*** is it so difficult to get some help with my car? It’s not a f****** human right to have holiday in July!”

Me: “What’s the rush? Why do you have to have your car serviced now?

Customer: “We are going on holiday this Friday!”


Let That Entitlement Slide Into The Bus Lane

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer comes to the customer service desk.)

Customer: “You! Are you the manager here?”

Manager: “I am.”

(The customer slams down a written statement on the counter.)

Customer: “I have a complaint to make about one of your employees. A disgusting little b****, she is!”

(My manager picks up the statement and reads through it thoughtfully. He looks over the rim of his glasses at the customer in disbelief as he finishes.)

Manager: “So… you were waiting at the bus stop and saw [Employee] drive past you to the store. You tried to flag her down and she didn’t stop?”

Customer: “Yes! I never felt so disrespected!”

Manager: “Erm… do you know [Employee] personally?”

Customer: “What? No, of course not.”

Manager: “Was she meant to be picking you up?”

Customer: “No, but she works here! And I spend a lot of money here!”

Manager: “Meaning what? She’s supposed to stop and give you a ride?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(By this point I’m now gaping in shock from where I’m trying to sort through lottery tickets and scratch cards.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not how it works. We appreciate that you spend so much here but that does not entitle you to treat employees like they’re a taxi service.”

(My manager then proceeds to rip up the customer’s statement and throws it in the trash can. The customer now gapes and silently flaps her mouth.)


(She storms out while my manager sighs in relief.)

Manager: “Whatever the fallout from that may be, it was totally worth it. There’s only so much entitlement I’m willing to let slide!”


Their Consideration Comes Crashing Down

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I’m on bike patrol when I hear on the radio that a man suffered a heart attack while driving and crashed his truck in the middle of a busy bridge in our city. I pedal over to offer any assistance for traffic control, and see that there are two ambulances already arrived and the paramedics are actively performing CPR on the driver in the middle of the road. The regular patrol officers are diverting traffic carefully but slowly past the scene, so I pedal back to the beginning of the bridge to signal drivers to slow down as they approach.)

Man: *in his car, rolling down window* “Hey! What the f*** is the hold up here?!”

Me: “There was a crash on the bridge up ahead.”

Man: “Well, they should really do something about the f****** traffic!”

Me: “Sir, I think they’re doing the best they can, but like I said, there was a CRASH on the bridge. I think they’re a bit preoccupied at this moment.”

Man: “Well, they need to do something about this f****** traffic! I have places to be and s*** to do! This is f****** bull-s***!”

Me: “SIR, there are paramedics up there right now, doing CPR on someone as we speak! You’re just going to have to be patient.”

Man: “I don’t see why I should be inconvenienced because of this! You people need to do your jobs and move the f****** traffic!”

Me: “EXCUSE ME, SIR! There is someone up there, RIGHT NOW, actively DYING in the middle of the road. So just SIMMER DOWN and shut up, because your problems are just not that important right now!”

Man: “Well, they’re important to me!”

(He rolled up his window with a scowl and continued honking, making impatient gestures, and easing as obnoxiously close to the car in front of him as possible the entire time it took him to get past the scene of the crash.)


Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 2

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Caller: “Hey, I just got a text from [Rental Company] saying my truck was stolen, but that doesn’t make any sense because I just returned it.”

Me: “Really? Dang, that sounds terrible! When was the last time you saw it?”

Caller: “Well, see, I’m not the one who turned it in; it was my brother. I gave him the keys and he took it to the [Rental Company] place and dropped it off after hours.”

Me: “I… see. And do you happen to know how exactly he went about that?”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t know. He parked it in front of your lot.”

Me: “Sir, can you tell me exactly WHERE he parked it?”

Caller: “Well, see, the center was closed, and he didn’t want to trespass or nothing, so he left it on the edge of that gas station right next door to you.”

Me: “Sir, he didn’t leave it on our premises, so it wasn’t turned in properly.”

Caller: “Hey, he sent me pictures. I’m not responsible for this. My brother turned it in, and I can prove he did.”

Me: “Did he make sure to turn in the key?”

Caller: “How was he supposed to do that? You were closed.”

Me: “Sir, there’s an after-hours drop box where you’re supposed to leave your key. You’re telling me he didn’t turn in the key?”

Caller: “No, man! He left it in the center console!”

Me: “…and he didn’t lock the doors?”

Caller: “Well, he wasn’t going to lock the keys in. That’d be pretty stupid, right?”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Anyway, I got pictures, so I can prove my brother turned it in. I won’t be held responsible, and I ain’t paying any damn fees.”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “So we’re good, right? I did my part. I called it in. Now it’s your problem.”

Me: “Sir, it is absolutely still your problem. That truck was stolen due to negligence. You should have told your brother how to turn it in, or else drove it in yourself. It’s still your name on the rental.”

Caller: “No way! I got pictures! I can prove he turned it in! You can’t make me pay for this! It wasn’t my fault! That truck was there, right in front of your place last night! Do you want me to send you the pictures he took?”

Me: “Sir, did you get the text from [Rental Company] before or after your brother sent you the pictures?”

Caller: “Oh, I got the text WAY after, but it doesn’t matter because we turned it in.”

Me: “Let me transfer you to customer service…”


Doesn’t Give A Truck


Doesn’t Give A Truck

AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Caller: “Hey, my tire just blew out, and I need a tow truck.”

Me: “Oh, dear! Let me get you over to roadside assistance. They can help you out.”

Caller: “Why can’t you help me? Aren’t you at [Rental Company]?”

Me: “I’m with the sales department, sir. You need to talk to roadside assistance.”

Caller: “Well, why don’t you sell me something, then? Can’t you rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t rent those out.”

Caller: “But I know you guys have one. I saw it on your lot. Just name your price!”

Me: “Sir, even if I could rent it out to you, how would you get there to pick it up if your truck has a flat?”

Caller: “Oh, I’ll just walk.”

Me: “You’ll what? How far away are you, sir?”

Caller: “Oh, we haven’t even left the parking lot. I can see your office from here.”

Me: “You… uh…”

Caller: “Is this John? Can you tell him to come over here and rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “Sir… why don’t you just walk over to the office and ask?”

Caller: “Well, it’s hot outside, and I didn’t want to leave the truck if I didn’t have to.”

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