Category: Transportation

That Scam Back-Tired

| USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Transportation

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Tire Shop].”

Customer: “I’m looking for a price on 10 ply [Brand] mud tires for my truck.”

Me: “Certainly, let me look at the computer and see what the price is on those… Looks like the price is [price] each.”

Customer: “No, that’s too high. I can get them somewhere else for [impossibly low price below wholesale].”

Me: “Well, in that case I’d get them for that price, because I can’t even get them for that price.”

Customer: *stammers, then is suddenly angry* “Uh… ah… are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Huh, what?”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Not at all, I’m just saying that wherever you found them for [low price] sounds like a good deal because that’s below what I could possibly get them for. Where did you even find them for that price? I might want to get some at that price, provided they’re not used or stolen.”

Customer: *click*

Being Foggy With The Specifics

| USA | Time, Transportation

(I receive a phone call from an airline dispatcher regarding a weather forecast. Why he’s calling the air traffic control tower and not the weather service is beyond me but I think I may have solved that issue for good.)

Airline Dispatcher: “What time is the fog going to lift?”

Me: *busy and tired of dealing with the inane* “9:47.”

Airline Dispatcher: *after a short pause* “Wow, that’s pretty specific. Are you sure?”

Me: “I’d bet your life on it.”

Doesn’t Know One’s (Gas) Station

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer comes in and asks to use the phone to call a cab.)

Customer: “Can I get a taxi to the [Wrong Name] on Kingsway.”

Me: “Sir, this isn’t [Wrong Name], That’s down the street. This is [Our Name].”

Customer: “No, it’s not. Are you sure?”

Me: “Well I DO work here, unless I’ve been coming to work at the wrong place. You DID walk past the name about 20 times, but if you don’t believe me, that’s completely fine.”

(20 minutes later, a taxi comes in for fuel.)

Customer: “What took you so long? They said five or ten minutes!”

Taxi Driver: “Nope. No call for here, but there was a call for [Wrong Name] and nobody was there.”

Customer: “…Oh. I guess he was right. Can I still get a ride?”

A Centless Amount Of Gas

| Murfreesboro, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

Me: “Welcome to [Gas Station]. What can I get for you?”

(The ‘customer’ scoops the ten cents out of the leave a penny take a penny and hand them to me.)

Customer: “I need this in gas on pump three.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you need at least 86 cents in order to purchase gas.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I just need this in gas.” *tries to hand me the ten cents again*

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t put that low of an amount on the pump. It won’t let me.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I bum a dollar?”

(My coworker gave him a dollar, so he got $1.10 in gas.)

License To Be A Girl

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Popular, Transportation

Caller: “I need to file a claim. The tow truck driver removed equipment from my car.”

Me: “What equipment was taken off?”

(Anything bolted or wired into the vehicle is considered part of the vehicle, all other items will be removed for storage in case the vehicle goes to the auction.)

Caller: “My license plate.”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “…Did you say your license plate?”

(These are legally considered personal property and we HAVE to remove them for storage.)

Caller: “Yes. Now I have to take it to a mechanic to have them put it back on.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s two screws that are probably still on the vehicle. All you need is a screw driver or a quarter to stick in the grooves on the screw head.”

Caller: “BUT I’M A GIRL! I don’t know how to use any of those tool things!”

Me: *looks down… yep… still a girl… wonders if my voice is particularly manly today* “Ma’am, I will call the company that towed your car. The guy there owes me a favor. Just turn around and politely ask them to replace the plate. If you’re nice to them, they’ll be nice to you.”

Caller: “For free?”

Me: “I’ll arrange for them to waive the fees.”

(This happened to be my monitored call for the month. My manager laughed her way through my review.)

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