Category: Transportation

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I Tyre Of These Questions

| UK | Money, Transportation

(I’m one of the sales guys at a caravan dealership. A customer asks me for a part exchange value on his caravan against a new one.)

Customer: “It’s absolutely pristine! Like new.”

Me: “Okay, as you don’t have the caravan with you, I can give you a value by asking you some questions on an appraisal questionnaire we have.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(There are lots of questions on the form but I’ll cut to the most entertaining ones.)

Me: “How are the windows? Any cracks? Scratches?”

Customer: “No, no… Oh, one of the front ones has a stone chip hole in it.”

Me: “Okay, how about the furniture inside? Tables, work surfaces all okay?”

Customer: “Yes, all good… Oh, the work surface has a dent in it.”

Me: “Okay, how about the tyres? Are they less than five years old?”

Customer: “I’m not prepared to answer that.”

Me: “Why? They have a date code so we can check them.”

Customer: “Are the tyres on the caravans you sell less than five years old?”

Me: “Yes. If they are older we change them for new ones before we sell the caravan.”

Customer: “Oh, right, do you? Well I’m not prepared to say.”

Me: “Okay, has your caravan been serviced recently?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know when it was last serviced?”

Customer: “When we bought it.”

Me: “When was that?”

Customer: “2012.”

Me: “Okay, based on what you’ve told me, your caravan would have a trade in value of £[amount].”

Customer: “What!? That’s nowhere near enough! It’s pristine!”

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In Receipt Of Dumbness

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

(I am working late night at the fuel center. One customer pulls up to the pump and a girl — the customer’s daughter, I assume, who looks to be anywhere from 9 to 11 years old — comes to the window and hands me a ten dollar bill. I set the pump for ten dollars. The customer only pumps $9.54 and the same girl returns to the window.)

Me: *hands her 46 cents* “And that’s 46 cents back. Thank you. Have a good night!”

Girl: *slowly takes the change and stares at me*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry did you need the receipt?”

Girl: “I gave you ten dollars?”

(Just to make sure I pull up the previous transactions and double check.)

Me: “Yes, dear. And she only pumped $9.54, so you get .46 back.”

(She fixes me with a skeptical look and rushes back to the car. I see the mother, the girl, and a younger girl outside the car and all three of them march up to the window.)

Woman: “I paid ten dollars!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but you only pumped $9.54, so you get back 46 cents as change.”

Woman: *getting irritated* “I paid ten dollars!”

Me: *sigh* “YES, and you pumped 9.54 and hung up the pump so you get change!”

Woman: “Why would I not get all ten?! I PAID ten!”

Me: “You HUNG up the PUMP after ONLY PUMPING $9.54. Would you like me to set it for .46 cents?”

(They turn to leave; I take a deep breath and turn the speaker volume all the way down.)

Woman: *to her daughters* “Come on, this b**** is dumb.”

(I finally lose my cool and crank the volume.)

Me: “EXCUSE ME, ma’am, but I do not appreciate being called that, or hearing that kind of language used in front of CHILDREN, no less.”

Woman: “What is your name!?”

Me: “[Full Name]! At least I can count!”

(I saved the receipt for that transaction and told both my supervisor, the service desk clerk, and the manager on duty what happened. I didn’t hear another word about it.)

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One Of Them Is Not Very Personable

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Caller: “Hi, can I get a maxi taxi?”

Me: “Sure. Is that for a wheelchair or group of people?”

Caller: “There are four people travelling. Two adults and three children.”

Me: “…”

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Taxing Pranking

| Chester, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I work as a telephone and radio operator. I’m responsible for giving jobs out to drivers and taking bookings. In the early evening, I get a call from a fairly young boy.)

Me: “[Taxi Company].”

Kid: “Yeah, I need a taxi, please, as soon as possible. We need to go out within about ten minutes.”

Me: “Okay. What’s the address?”

Kid: “It’s [Address].”

Me: “That’s great, but I don’t recognise you.”

Kid: “Sorry?”

Me: “I don’t recognise your voice at all. I’ve only got two children, as far as I know, and neither of them sound like you.”

Kid: “What?”

Me: “You’ve just requested a taxi from [Address], right?”

Kid: “Yeah.”

Me: “And that’s where you live?”

Kid: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s where I live, too. Why would you want a taxi from my house?”

(The kid immediately hung up. I phoned my wife, and apparently she’d had a taxi driver knock on the door after waiting outside for five minutes. The kid had sent one car from at least four different companies to our address. No idea where they’d got our address, or why they were doing it, but they stopped after phoning me!)

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A Customer Over Troubled Water

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(The phone rings.)

Customer: “You f****** idiots broke my truck!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “DIDN’T YOU F****** HEAR ME? YOU. BROKE. MY. BRAND. NEW. TRUCK!”

Me: *remaining calm* “Can you please tell me what happened?”

Customer: “I was in on Saturday and filled with diesel. It started to make an awful noise and isn’t f****** running right. The mechanic said there is water in the diesel and now you have to f*****fix my f****** truck, you d*** c***!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but if we had water in our diesel, we would have had a lot more complaints that just yours. I will transfer you to my manager; please give me one moment.”

(I cut off the customer before he could say anything. My manager got the time he was in a few days before and all of his information. My manager hung up on him after a few death threats and more foul language. When we looked at the camera, the guy had put a whole jug of DEF into his gas tank, which is about 60% water and which YOU DO NOT MIX WITH FUEL. The police got a copy of the video along with his name and license plate. Oddly enough, we never had to deal with him again.)

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