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Category: Tourists/Travel

His Head Is In The Clouds

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Do you have Airmiles?”

Customer:“No. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Customer: “Wait, what did you ask me?”

Me: “If you had Airmiles.”

Customer: “Oh. Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “Um, no, I asked for Airmiles.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Wait. What?”

Me: “I asked if you had Airmiles.”

Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “No, that’s something different.”

Customer: “Right. How much is it?”

Me: “[Price].”

Customer: “Yes, and I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “We don’t take Aeroplan.”

Customer: “What did you ask for, then?”

Me: “…Airmiles.”

Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “I didn’t ask for Aeroplan; I said Airmiles. They’re two different rewards cards.”

Customer: “But I don’t have Airmiles.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “So… can you take my Aeroplan card?”

Me: “…No.”

Anything Goes Except Everything

, | Vantaa, Finland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I work as a sales agent for an airline.)

Me: “[Airline], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “We’d like to go for a holiday somewhere.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. What did you have in mind?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Something would be nice.”

Me: “Okay, would you prefer a city destination or rather a beach destination?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Anything goes.”

Me: “Okay, how long a trip you were thinking? A weekend trip or maybe a longer trip, a week perhaps?”

Customer: “Well, anything goes.”

Me: *getting a bit frustrated already, but still trying something to start with* “Okay, do you have in mind when you’d like go for the trip?”

Customer: “Not really. Anything goes.”

Me: *frustrated, but still very polite* “Okay, how about you go for a nice weekend to Stockholm next weekend?”

Customer: “Well, actually we had a bit longer trip in mind and to some bit warmer destination. With a beach. And it has to be in September because that’s when we have our vacation.”

The Biggest Space Is Between Their Ears

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a certain mountain based sci-fi rollercoaster in a magical themed park run by a mouse. Every night at 10 pm, we have a fireworks show. One night, I am standing at greeter position. Five minutes before the fireworks show; I am approached by a guest.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how could I be of assistance?”

Guest: “Yeah, could you tell me what’s in here?” *pointing at the building containing the rollercoaster*

Me: “Oh, yes, that’s [Space-themed Roller Coaster Mountain]. It’s an indoor rollercoaster. The wait time is currently—”

Guest: “Wait, so, it’s not for the fireworks?”

Me: “Afraid not. The fireworks will be visible from out here, though, if you wanted to see them.”

Guest: “I really thought there was some special viewing area up there for the fireworks.”

Me: *looking at the giant concrete structure with no platforms, windows, or balconies* “Unfortunately not, friend. In fact once inside you’ll be completely unable to see the fireworks, seeing as the whole thing is indoors.”

Guest: “Oh. Wait why are there people going in then?”

Me: “Well, they’re going in to ride the rollercoaster.”

Guest: “But the fireworks are about to start.”

Me: “They won’t be watching the fireworks.”

Guest: “But why? They start in five minutes!”

Me: “I guess they don’t want to see them then.”

Guest: *after a long pause* “Well, that’s really stupid, then.”

(Without any hesitation, the guest then proceeded to get in line for the ride, and walked into the building.)