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Category: Tourists/Travel

Wild And Unruly

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a company that owns a whale watching business. Whale watching season is generally between May and November every year, when the whales pass the Sydney coastline going up to Queensland to give birth and then when they go back down to Antarctica. Sometimes (very rarely) one or two whales decide to make a pit-stop in Sydney Harbour before continuing on their way.)

Me: *phone rings* “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Customer: “What time do the whales come into the Harbour?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What time do the whales come into the Harbour?”

Me: “I do apologise but I can’t tell you what time the whales will be in the Harbour. However, if you would like to join one of our whale watching cruises—”

Customer: “What do you mean you can’t tell me what time they’ll be in the Harbour? There was one in there yesterday!”

Me: “Yes, I know. It was very exciting. However, that whale has moved on now and I can’t guarantee when the next one will come into the Harbour.”

Customer: “Aren’t you a whale watching company?”

Me: “Yes, we operate three kinds of tours—”

Customer: “So why can’t you tell me what time the whales will be in the f***ing Harbour?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but whales are wild animals and we can’t control—”

Customer: “What do you mean they’re ‘wild animals’?!”

Me: “…They live in the wild. They are wild animals. We are an Eco-tour that watches whales in their natural habitat… in the wild…”

Customer: “This is bull-s***. I knew we should have gone to Sea World!” *click*

You Can Snake Around But The Answer Will Be The Same

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(I am a ranger at a state park, leading a group of tourists on a short hike and telling them about the park, then an activity that involves digging through swamp muck to find critters that live in the swamps. I have a ball running and participating in this program and find that most people from 3-70 have as well, though it is geared mostly towards younger kids. Among others, I have with me a family of French speaking guests: a mother, a 7- or 8-year-old boy, and two teenagers.)

Boy: *in broken English* “You will show me snake?”

Me: “If we see a snake I will point it out! I can definitely tell you what type it is and all about it! Keep on the lookout.”

Boy: “No, you show me snake.”

Me: “I… can’t just make one appear. But we do have a good number of snakes in our park! Hopefully we will see one today.”

Boy: *points* “Snake. You tell snake?”

Me: “Oh, did you find one already? Awesome! Show me where? I can tell you all about it!”

Mother: *expectantly* “No, he wants you to find him a snake out here, right now. We want to see a snake, now.”

Me: “I… can not just make one appear, I am sorry. They are wild animals that live in this park and come and go as they please.”

Mother: *scoffs, then talks to her family in French, who also all scoff* “This is not a good program for teenagers!”

Me: “Okay? It is geared towards younger kids mostly, though all ages find it enjoyable, I have found. I had an elderly couple having a ball with me yesterday! You might have more fun if you participate in searching?”

(They continued to talk to each other angrily in French and shoot dirty looks my way as I continued on with the rest of my program for the others. Next time I turned to them, they were gone. 10 minutes later we spotted not one, but three snakes!)

There Should Be A Sign

, | Watson Lake, YK, Canada | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a little retail store beside our town’s main tourist attraction, the Signpost Forest, which has over 75,000 signs to date, right beside the Alaska Highway. A customer walks into the shop.)

Customer: “Where do I go to see the Signpost Forest?”

Me: “See right behind the shop, the hundreds of posts with the countless signs all over them?”

Customer: “Yah?”

Me: “See how they look like a forest?”

Customer: “Yah?”

Me: “That’s it.”

Customer: “…Are you sure?”