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Category: Tourists/Travel

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Just Ran Over (Very) Big Bird

| Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a flight attendant. Whilst turbulence sometimes happens, this flight was actually very smooth. One customer seems to think otherwise.)

Customer: *sounding slightly stressed* “Why is it so bumpy; it’s so very, very bumpy!”

Me: “Oh, we just ran over a bird.”

(Customer looked out of the window to try and spot the poor bird, even though we were at 35,000ft. I walked away before she worked it out…)

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Cut-Price Husbands

| New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(We have a policy in which we will beat our competitor’s prices by a dollar if a customer pays on that day. We can make no further discounts or deductions on the reduced price if a customer asks for that service, as if we do, we risk running a debit with the airlines. We publicize this far and wide, so we get customers approach us on a daily basis.)

Customer: “I’ve found this price to the USA, but I want you to price beat it for me.”

(This can involve a few minutes of work, as we have to research the price, and confirm it is still valid. In this case everything is fine, and I can proceed.)

Me: “Okay, well, we will match this price, and better it by $1.”

Customer: “No. No, I want more off. You will give me another 10% off the price, and waive all the fees.”

Me:”I’m sorry, but that’s just something I can’t do. This is the lowest price you can get. It is already a sale price, and we’ve dropped the price again to beat our competitors. I can’t give you anything further. Dropping the fees will actually anger the airline, as that incorporates their fuel charges. ”

Customer: “No, you will. And I might buy more travel from you in the future.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t.”

Customer: “Give me a discount!”

(This goes on for more than 10 minutes with the customer insisting that I must give him a 10-20% discount.)

Me: “Sir, honestly, I have given you the best price in the country. I can get my manager to confirm this, if you would like?”

Customer: “No, I can tell your manager will just do what you say. This is because you aren’t married isn’t it?”

Me: “What?!”

Customer: “You’re not wearing any rings. You’re not married, as you obviously don’t know how to treat a man. If you give me this discount, it will prove that you are worthy for a husband!”

(Unbelievably I kept my cool. He went away after 30 minutes, telling me what a hard and difficult woman I was. He still booked, and even then harassed my colleague for asking about the entry visas!)

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Literally Expecting You To Move Mountains

| Haines, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I am picking up a new set of tourists from the docks to take on a walking tour and notice one standing off to one side staring out across the water at a rather impressive mountain range.)

Me: “Pretty great view, huh?”

Tourist: “Well, it WOULD be if you got rid of those mountains.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Tourist: “Seriously, have you spoken to anyone about it? They really block the view.”