Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s August Themed Story Giveaway:
Tourists & Travelers!
Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:
- Submit a funny or interesting story about tourist & traveler customers.
- Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
- All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!
PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning July Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Wild & Unruly Customers. The winning submission: The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot (1987 thumbs up).
PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, September 4!
Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about cruise ship passengers!
- The Vacation Of A Lifetime, Slightly Exaggerated (1,520 thumbs up)
- Varicose To His Wife (4,457 thumbs up)
- Low IQ On The High Seas (2,070 thumbs up)
- When Common Sense Goes Naval Gazing (3,033 thumbs up)
- What’s Red Or Blue And Dumb All Over (2,682 thumbs up)
PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
Me: “Hello, this is [travel agency]; how can I help you?”
Customer: “Hello. I bought a tour to Prague from you a while ago, and yesterday I googled the hotel and… uh…”
Customer: “Well, there’s lots of reviews online saying that the hotel is favored by homosexuals and lesbians.”
Customer: “Yes. I’d like a different hotel, if you don’t mind.”
Me: “Are you sure? It could be fun!”
Customer: *laughing* “I’m not sure about that. I’m coming there with my wife, you know.”
Me: “Think about it. You’re going abroad for an exotic experience. Why not go all the way and choose a hotel with a difference?”
Customer: “I still think I’d be uncomfortable there. I have nothing against gay people, but still—”
Me: “There’s no reason you should be uncomfortable… Unless, of course, you’re having certain doubts…”
Customer: “No doubts, thank you. But how do I explain it to my wife?”
Me: “Just tell her that if she doesn’t behave herself, you’ll leave her for another man.”
Customer: *laughing hard* “Sold!”
(I work for the boutiques onboard various cruise ships. Even though jeweler is my professional position, we also have emergency duties such as lowering the life-boats, guiding guests and such. Mine is to muster guests to their muster position before the abandon-ship signal is given. The guests are all sitting in the grand dining room which is at the very back of the ship.)
Guest: “So when the emergency signal is sounded, we just all come here?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is your muster station in the event of an emergency. When the abandon-ship signal is given, we guide you to your assigned lifeboat.”
(Because there are so many guests on the ship, we don’t take them to the lifeboat when it is just a drill like this; we explain to them over the PA the procedure.)
Guest: “Why haven’t you taken us to our lifeboats already?!”
Me: “That was just explained, ma’am; as you can see, there are a lot of guests onboard, and it is really unnecessary—”
Guest: “LIES! YOU’RE LYING!”
(The guest then looks out of the window at the back of the ship; all you can see in the sea behind us.)
Guest: “THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY LIFEBOATS ON BOARD! YOU’RE LYING! YOU JUST WANT US ALL TO STAY HERE AND DIE LIKE THE TITANIC!”
(It is when the French Franc is still in use. I get called by a cashier who has a problem with American tourists.)
Tourist: “This woman won’t accept our money!”
(The tourist is waving about a wad of US dollars.)
Me: “Well, she can’t, sir, since you’re trying to pay in US dollars.”
Me: “Well, you’re in France. We only accept French Francs.”
Customer: “I don’t understand! All the other third world countries we’ve been to accept dollars.”
Me: “France isn’t a third world country.”
Me: “There’s a bank right down the street. We’ll hold on to your items until you come back with Francs. Or you can pay with a visa card.”
Customer: “No, we’re not coming back; you’re not getting our dollars!”