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Category: Tourists/Travel

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Sweetly Blessed

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I work at Hogsmeade in the Universal Studios Hollywood.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am! Welcome to [Candy Shop]. Did you find everything you like?

Guest: “Do you have those glass candy feather pens? My daughter loves these things.”

Me: “You mean the sugar quills, right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. I want one of those candy feather pens. So, do you have those?”

Me: *takes a small breath of air, smiles, and walks from behind the counter and gets a sugar quill from a stand* “You mean this right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. Yes, that is what it looks like!”

(I ring her up and she looks at her receipt after I bag everything up for her.)

Guest: “Honey, you gave me the wrong item. That is not a candy feather pen.”

Me: “Ma’am, quills are feathered pens. They aren’t anything else. Please have a Magical day and… bless your heart.”

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Like To Throw Their Weight Around

| Greece | Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I work for a travel company on one of the heavily touristic Greek islands. This day I am working at the airport helping our customers as they are checking in for their flight back to their home country. The luggage limit is 20 kg per person. A family of three is checking in and a member of the Greek airport staff calls me over and tells me that she needs me to explain the rules about overweight luggage to the customer. Usually this means translating from English to the customer’s language.)

Me: *in the customer’s language* “Hello. What seems to be the problem?”

Man: *completely beetroot red in his face* “They –” *the check-in personnel* “– are telling us that we have 10 kilos overweight!”

(Usually the charge for extra kilos is almost 10 euros per kilo, so it can get quite expensive fast.)

Me: “How much weight do you have at the moment?”

Man: “70!”

Me: “Well, yes, the allowed limit is 20kg per person.”

Man & Woman: *screaming simultaneously* “YES, BUT WE ARE THREE PERSONS!”

Me: “Yes… and that means your total weight can be 60 kg. So you do indeed have 10 kg overweight”

Man: “WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF LUGGAGE NOW AS WE DID WHEN WE LEFT AND THEY DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT!”

Me: *with a sinking feeling of here-we-go-again-with-this* “I see. Unfortunately that is a mistake on their part and they are known to be quite inattentive when it comes to the weight limits, whereas here on [Greek Island] they are known for being extremely strict with the limits.”

Man: “THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. THAT IS A MISTAKE ON YOUR STAFF IN SO IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!”

Me: *thinking how on earth could I possibly control staff that does not actually work for us and are located almost 4000 km away from us* “Again, I am sorry, but they are very strict with the limits and—”

Man: “I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO PAY FOR THIS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THEY DID NOT TELL US AND NOW SUDDENLY THEY HAVE JUST DECIDED TO TAKE THE MONEY FROM ME. I WILL. NOT. PAY. FOR. THIS.”

Me: *starting to get fed up with this childish attitude but still remaining polite* “Well, I’m am sorry you feel this way, but unfortunately you don’t have a choice in the matter. Either you pay or you don’t board the flight.”

(The man keeps repeating the above things over and over again with his wife backing him up. Meanwhile their child, who looks about eight, is just sitting on their bags, looking sad.)

Man: “FINE. I will pay for it, but you can be d*** sure that I will claim the money back when I get home! This will not be the end of this!”

Me: “Would you like to have the email address to our reclamation-department?”

Man: “YES!”

Me: *writing down the address on a piece of paper* “You can send your claim to this email and in case you lose this piece of paper, you can always find it again from [our website].”

Man: *taking the paper* “This is the worst service I have ever had! This has never happened to us before! I am NEVER flying with this company again!” *to the check-in staff, in English* “How much is the cost?”

Airport Staff: “You must take this note to the office over there.” *pointing the location, about 50 meters away, but clearly visible* “They will tell you the price as there can be changes to it. When you come back, you don’t have to stand in line anymore, but you can come straight to the counter and we will finalize the check-in procedure.”

Man: *in his language to me* “I AM NOT STANDING IN LINE AGAIN WHEN I COME BACK WITH THIS!”

Me: “No, of course you don’t have to do that. As the check in person just told you, you can simply just pass the queue when you come back.”

Man: *storms off*

(The woman stays behind with the child, but steps aside and I am standing quite close to them, but not engaging her very much because I have grown aggravated with their, frankly, childish behavior. Meanwhile, my colleague and friend who works for our sister company engages the woman because she has even less tolerance for this kind of behavior than I do.)

Woman: *just repeating what they have been saying again and again and adding another gem* “Well, fortunately there are other tour companies so we won’t have to travel with you guys ever again.”

My Colleague: “The weight limits are mentioned very clearly in the travel rules and they are also in your ticket…”

(They later said that their daughter had gotten car sick because the bus that had brought them to the airport, provided by our company of course, had been taking “some d*** scenic route instead of driving straight.” For the record, there is precisely one route that the buses take on their way to the airport and it’s definitely not a “scenic” route. But this did not stop these two from not only complaining about it but also ENCOURAGING THEIR OWN CHILD TO TRY AND THROW UP ON THE AIRPORT FLOOR IN FRONT OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE because they were angry at us. So, yes, please do choose another company to travel with in the future. It’s not that we think that we have too many customers. It’s just that we prefer that our customers A) have basic decency, B) know how to read, write, and count or at least listen, and C) don’t use their own *children* as biological weapons.)

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If You Don’t Listen You Can Go Swim With The Fishes

, | England, UK | Money, Pets & Animals, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(We decide to have a day at the beach with our children. They are both being so well behaved we decide to go to the Sea Life Centre despite it being known as an expensive attraction.)

Customer: “How much are tickets?”

Cashier: “All prices are on the board to your left, but I can see that there are three of you so that would be £41. However, if you—”

Customer: “What?! That is ridiculous! How can you charge so much?”

Cashier: “Well, we operate a sea life hospital. Part of the ticket price goes to helping injured animals and releasing them back to the wild.”

Customer: “I am not paying that! Come on, we are leaving. What a rip off!”

Me: “Er… four, please.”

Cashier: “Great, thank you, that will be £55. But if you head over to the supermarket they will give you 40% off.”

Me: “Great! Thank you!”

(I dash over to the supermarket and pick up a voucher, I see the family still outside when I return but they are too busy shouting at each other to let me offer them a voucher. We ended up having a great time.)

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Dishing The Dirt

| Jupiter, FL, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I’m walking outside for my lunch break when I see a lady on her knees feeling the ground in front of our steps.)

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, hi, I noticed you have this nice black volcanic sand here and I was wondering if there are any nearby beaches with it?”

Me: *trying to contain my laughter* “No, ma’am, that’s dirt.”

(She turned bright red, stood up, brushed off her hands, and walked away.)

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Not Have A Wale(s) Of A Time

| Wales, UK | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(The football world cup is on. A lot of English ex-pats have retired to our town and are displaying their flags. A lot of the Welsh people who live in town also choose to display Welsh flags, all year around.)

Customer: “Take them down.”

Me: “Sir? Take what down?”

Customer: “The bloody flags, you idiot. Take them down!”

Me: “Sir, respectfully I’d like to know what flags? We have none on display here.”

Customer: “Not here, you bimbo. All over the bloody town. F****** Welsh flags! It’s the world cup. YOU should be supporting ENGLAND.”

Me: “I don’t control what flags residents and other businesses choose to display – besides, this IS Wales. Many people are as proud to be Welsh as you obviously are to be English.”

Customer: “Well, it’s disrespecting the Queen.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Do you have a query I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah. I want these for the grandkids.”

(He hands me a fistful of souvenirs that all say ‘WALES/CYMRU’ on them, including a football with Welsh dragons on it, several Welsh flag erasers, and… a miniature Welsh flag!)

Me: “Uh… sure. That’ll be [price]. Have a great day!”

Customer: *leaves, muttering to himself* “Bloody foreigners. No respect.”

Coworker: “Welsh? Foreigners in our own country?”

Me: “Ah, [Coworker], did you not know that EVERYWHERE is foreign, even if you are English and somewhere besides England? It is everybody else and not you who is the foreigner.”

Coworker: “I hope Scotland votes ‘yes.’ Then, maybe we can think about leaving, too!”

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