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Category: Tourists/Travel

No Vocation For Location, Part 9

| Folkestone, Kent, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel

(I am serving two customer, who are talking amongst themselves.)

Customer #1: “You off on holiday then?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, off to France. Need to get my money!”

Customer #1: “What do they use in France anyways?”

Me: *having overheard* “They use the Euro over there, madam.”

Customer #1: “Nah, they don’t! France ain’t in Europe! It’s just across the Channel!”

(Folkestone is a port on the English Channel separating the UK and France, and is just 26 miles away from the French town of Calais!)

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 8
No Vocation For Location, Part 7
No Vocation For Location, Part 6
No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

I Have A Sinking Feeling, Part 2

| IL, USA | Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

(Our beach normally has a 15-minute swim break to clear the water to make sure no one is missing, and to allow the lifeguards a short break. Today is incredibly busy and hot, and we are extremely understaffed since most of the college students have returned to school. The manager has just announced a 30-minute swim break. I am at the beach gate, where we collect the entrance fees.)

Woman: *in a rude tone* “Who just made that announcement? Where is that person?”

Me: “The beach manager. They are in the lifeguard office. Is there something I can help you with?”

Woman: “What do they mean a 30-minute swim break?! That’s ridiculous!”

Me: “Well, we always have a 15-minute swim break, but today they are extending it to 30 minutes for a few reasons. For one, since there are so many people it takes more time to clear the water. Also, we are understaffed today and have already had one lifeguard go home sick. The longer break allows the lifeguards time for a break so they can be focused when they go on the stands.”

Woman: “This is insane! I can’t believe this place! How inconsiderate!” *storms off*

Related:
I Have A Sinking Feeling

Getting Chesty About The Law

| Rio de Janeiro, Brazil | Criminal & Illegal, Rude & Risque, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I’m an American married to a Brazilian, and I spend several months a year in Brazil. I work at a beachside stall serving beer and snacks. A pair of American tourists are in front of me, and the woman is topless, which is strictly illegal in Brazil, but many assume otherwise.)

Man: “Hi. Two cervezas and, uh, some chips. You got chips?”

Server: *in Portuguese* “Ma’am, you can’t be topless here! The police could arrest you. You need to cover up.”

Woman: “What are you talking about? I don’t speak Spanish.”

Me: “Lady, he’s telling you that you need to cover up.”

Woman: “What? Like h*** I do. This is Brazil!”

Me: “Yeah, a Catholic country that bans public nudity. You can be arrested.”

Man: “F*** off. This is Brazil. People go topless on the beach all the time.”

Me: “Well, look around at the beach. You’re the only woman in sight without a top on.”

Woman: “Mind your d*** business.” *they walk off in a huff*

Server: “I wonder if they noticed that they’re about to walk right past three police cars?”

Me: “Probably not.”

(I stood there, sipping my beer, and watched as the woman was cited for public nudity.)