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Category: Tourists/Travel

Timeshare Beware

| HI, USA | Bad Behavior, Spouses & Partners, Tourists/Travel

(My wife and I are forced to sit in a timeshare presentation as part of our reduced cost stay at a resort. We had already decided it would be crazy for us to buy a timeshare as we have not yet even bought our own house.)

Salesman: “So, can you tell us your personal priorities?”

(My wife, who is an Ivy-League educated lawyer who works in not-for-profit human rights law, speaks up.)

My Wife: “Money… Power! RESPECT!”

(The salesman looks surprised while I turn to my wife:)

Me: “Well, I guess I didn’t know we had such different priorities… for me it i about the little things… blunts, bling, and b****es!”

(They really hated us.)

Will Need To Take A Different Beirut

| Knoxville TN, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(It is the late 1990s. A couple walk in. She is obviously Jewish, he not-so-much. As it turns out, he is a Lebanese Druze.)

Female Customer: “We’d like airline tickets flying into Tel Aviv and back from Beirut.”

Me: “Okay, let’s see what we can find.” *types into the computer* “Meanwhile, how will you get from Tel Aviv to Beirut?”

Female Customer: “Oh, we plan to rent a car and drive.”

Me: “I don’t think we’ll be able to find a rental car for that.”

Male Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, right now the Israeli-Lebanese border is a war zone.”

Pales In Comparison To Wales

| Wales, UK | Geography, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a tourist information centre in a Welsh town. As well as its regular Welsh town name, the town has an anglicised version since it is a popular seaside destination for a large swathe of people from central England. The anglicised name sounds similar to another popular seaside resort that actually IS in England, but it’s a good 350+ miles away from us.)

Me: “Bore da, Canolfan Groeso [Welsh town]. Sut gallai helpu chi? Good morning, tourist information [Anglicised name of Welsh town]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah. I want sailing times for the ferries to the [island near the English town].”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t have that information to hand, sir. I can either give you the phone number for [English Town]’s tourist services or I can pop you on hold whilst I look it up.”

Caller: “But people sail from [town not far from English town] all the time. Why haven’t you got it to hand? I could look it up on the Internet myself!”

Me: “We are [Welsh town], 350+ miles from [English town]. We tend to only provide information for [Welsh town] and the surrounding county.”

Caller: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “You’ve called Wales, sir. The services you want are in England.”

Caller: “Wales?”

Me: “Yep, Wales.”

Caller: “So you’re not [English town]?”

Me: “Nope, we’re [Welsh town].”

Caller: “Well, what’s the point of that? Why would you do that?”

Me: “Erm, I’m really sorry but I don’t follow?”

Caller: “Why would you be in Wales?”