Category: Tourists/Travel

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 7

| Québec City, QC, Canada | Canada, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a café in the old city in Québec, which is a very popular tourist destination. A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Bonjour, hello.”

Customer: “Hello! You take American money, right?”

Me: “Ooh, I’m afraid not. Would you like to pay with a card? We take debit and credit.”

Customer: “Why don’t you take American dollars?”

Me: “Because this isn’t the United States.”

Customer: “What are you talking about?!”

Me: “Canada is a different country. May I ask where you’re visiting from?”

Customer: “New Zealand.”

Me: “Right, I thought I recognized the accent. Would you take it kindly if I came to your city and tried to use Australian dollars?”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Well, it’s the same deal here. Now would you like to pay with a card?”


Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
Canada: America’s Hat

Yukon Freeze It, Part 3

| Niagara, ON, Canada | Canada, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I’m about 10 years old. I’m coming out of a store, when a very obvious tourist couple confronts me. They have a kayak strapped to the top of their truck, and some skidoos trailered to the back. It’s summer.)

Tourist: “You! You can you help me!”

Me: “Umm, okay. What’s wrong?”

Tourist: “Where can I go ice fishing?”

Me: “A lot of places, but it’s way too warm for that right now.”

Tourist: “We’re in Canada, correct?”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s summer time. Maybe if you were much further north you’d find ice.”

Tourist: “I drove up from the south; this is north.”

Me: “Umm, well you could take your kayak out to Lake Ontario to go regular fishing, but not ice fishing.”

(The tourist’s wife, with selective hearing issues, chimes in.)

Tourist’s Wife: “We can go ice fishing?!”

Me: *gives up* “Sure, just go down Lake Street, and you’ll find the lake.”

Tourist’s Wife: “Honey look, they name their streets after the places they go to! How cute!”

(I watch them drive off in the opposite direction.)

Yukon Freeze It, Part 2
Yukon Freeze It

No Vocation For Location, Part 7

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]; this is [my name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want to book a flight from here to Los Angeles.”

Me: “Okay, what city are you departing from?”

Caller: “I want to go to Los Angeles.”

Me: “From where?”

Caller: “From here.”

Me: “What city are you in?”

Caller: “The same as you.”

Me: “I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. Is that where you are?”

Caller: “No. Can’t you tell from my phone number?”

Me: “We have no way of knowing where you’re calling from. If you tell me what city you’d like to depart from, I can look up the flights for you.”

Caller: “Well if you don’t know where I am, what good are you?” *click*

No Vocation For Location, Part 6
No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 3

, | Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(It’s almost dusk at the gift shop I am running at the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. A tourist couple approaches.)

Woman: “Where is the best spot to watch the Canyon at night?”

Me: “Well, anywhere along the walkway is good, but the sun’s going down very soon.”

Man: “Yes, we want to be here when they turn on the lights.”

Me: “…lights?”

Woman: “Yes, so we can see it at night.”

Me: “Umm, the Canyon is over a mile deep at this point, and the northern rim is over a mile across from here. There aren’t any lights in it for nighttime.”

Man: “Then how do you see it at night?”

Me: “…basically it’s the big blackness out there.”

Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2
Having A Light Bulb Moment

Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2

, | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(We sell burgers in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb size. It is part of our job to clarify which burger the customer is ordering. I overhear my coworker’s exchange at the next till.)

Customer: “I’d like a burger please.”

Coworker: “Certainly. Would you like the 1/4 lb or 1/2 lb?”

Customer: “I’m not sure; whichever is bigger.”

Coworker: “That would be the 1/2 lb.”

Customer: “Sorry, I’m from the States, and I don’t understand your Canadian measurements!”

Dumb By Any Metric

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