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Category: Tourists/Travel

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Must Love Those ‘Rush-To-The-Airport’ Scenes In Movies

| London, England, UK | Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work in a cinema in Leicester Square, right in the heart of London’s West End. It is around midnight and a lady rushes in with several suitcases. Note that it’s 15 km to the nearest airport.)

Lady: “Is this the airport?”

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Makes You Just Go ‘Powwow’ Wow

| Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA | Popular, Tourists/Travel

(There’s a few Reservations around the region, and there’s an annual powwow that takes place in June. We run into this issue every year, and this is usually how it goes:)

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Could you find me one that sits on my head right?”

(He holds up an “Indian headdress” – the kind that’s a bunch of dyed multicolored feathers strapped to a band.)

Me: “Uh… are you going to the powwow?”

Customer: “Yep! I wanted to go, and I wanted to be authentic.”

Me: “I would highly suggest you do NOT wear that to the powwow.”

Customer: “What? Why? Isn’t this traditional?”

Me: “No, it’s not. For one, it looks nothing like a real war bonnet, and secondly, in most tribes a real headdress is reserved for great leaders and warriors, and are considered sacred.”

Customer: *blank look*

Me: “It’s considered offensive.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(Usually most customers would put it back, but it happens every year.)

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A Well-Red Book

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, yes, I had a book on hold there. I came to pick it up this morning and it was taking too long for the guy to help other people so I left!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about the wait; we only have one person in the store this week due to our owners getting married last weekend.”

Caller: “I’m not done! So I came back and parked in the red zone at the corner, picked up my book and when I got back, I had a $115 ticket!”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, but I don’t know what I can do for you about that.”

Caller: “My point is that it took longer to get service in your store than for her to give me a ticket!”

Me: “You parked in a red zone. It doesn’t matter how long you were there for; it’s still illegal.”

Caller: “You should put a sign in front of your store saying that if you park in the red zone while shopping there you’ll get a ticket!”

Me: “Isn’t that what the red paint is for?”

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Irrational Irradiation

| Russia, St Petersburg | Tourists/Travel

(Our inspectors group is at the TSA checkpoint, serving a line of the passengers. I’m standing in front of the x-ray, helping the passengers to load their carry-ons and clothes, when I see a lady in the line starting to fish something out from her bag.)

Me: “Excuse me; you don’t need to take anything out of your bag! Just put it on the conveyer belt as it is.”

Passenger: “Yes, I have to! How can I have my food exposed to the radiation?” *proceeds to take a rather large plastic container out of her bag and put it aside*

Me: “Excuse me, but there are rules; we need to check all of your things. Please put the box onto the conveyer belt.”

Passenger: “I’m not doing this! I’m not gonna eat irradiated food!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a normal x-ray machine, it isn’t constructed to harm people. You do x-ray in the hospital, don’t you? This one gives you even less a dose of the rays!”

Passenger: “Don’t bull-s*** me! This is not made for people; I’m not putting my lunch inside this! There’s RADIATION!”

Me: *pointing at an x-ray machine next to ours, opened for the catering guys; they’re putting packs of soda for the customer service at the departure lounge through the machine* “You see, all of our catering services have to put all their food through it as well, so there’s really nothing harmful—”

Passenger: “Ah! Good thing you said it! I’ll make it a point to never buy any food here!”

(Finally I gave up on arguing and just called a co-worker who checked the lady’s lunch box visually. In less than two minutes the x-ray operator found out she had a water bottle of a larger than allowed volume, and sure enough, there ensued another scene, where the passenger lady fiercely defended her right to keep her bottle. And, when she predictably failed in this, as the apotheosis of this all, she loudly ranted all over the checkpoint and promised to file a complaint on how we made her drink the poisonous water spiked with the awful x-ray radiation.)

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Sweetly Blessed

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I work at Hogsmeade in the Universal Studios Hollywood.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am! Welcome to [Candy Shop]. Did you find everything you like?

Guest: “Do you have those glass candy feather pens? My daughter loves these things.”

Me: “You mean the sugar quills, right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. I want one of those candy feather pens. So, do you have those?”

Me: *takes a small breath of air, smiles, and walks from behind the counter and gets a sugar quill from a stand* “You mean this right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. Yes, that is what it looks like!”

(I ring her up and she looks at her receipt after I bag everything up for her.)

Guest: “Honey, you gave me the wrong item. That is not a candy feather pen.”

Me: “Ma’am, quills are feathered pens. They aren’t anything else. Please have a Magical day and… bless your heart.”

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