Category: Tourists/Travel

They Are Bali Listening

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am in the bakery to buy bread when I overhear an argument. It’s clear that this customer is a regular, since the bakers have a bit of a laugh with him.)

Customer: “Where were you last week?”

Baker: “I was in Bali.”

Customer: “What? Why were you there?”

Baker: “Uh… for a holiday?”

Customer: “But why go on holiday?”

Baker: “Because… I wanted to? And it was nice there?”

(The customer goes on and on about Bali being a horrible place, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Bali? It’s a beautiful place.”

Customer: “Never been. Don’t want to go. I’m allergic to Bali.”

The Landing Went Down The Toilet

| Singapore | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a cabin crew member in economy class, preparing for landing. We are all set and waiting for the captain to announce our landing position, when suddenly an elderly passenger, in the last row, gets up to use the lavatory.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sir, we will be landing soon. The lavatory can no longer be used at this moment.”

Passenger: “I need to use the toilet now!” *shoves his way past me and into the lavatory*

(I have to inform the crew in charge about the situation so that the captain will not make the landing. After the passenger comes out from the lavatory and quietly goes back to his seat, the captain proceeds to make a safe landing. When the aircraft is on ground and passengers are getting up to exit the aircraft, the same passenger comes up to my face.)

Passenger: “You are very rude! No one had ever done that to me. Do you know I have the contact to your company’s president? I have his number right here on my mobile!”

Me: “Sir, it was for your own safety. And if you like to report me to the president, please go ahead. This is my name.”

Passenger: “What if I peed right here in the aircraft?”

Me: “Sir, it was for your safety. You could have gone before we were ready for landing or after landing.”

Passenger: “Kamu orang China bodoh!” *speaking in Bahasa Indonesia, translation: “You stupid China people.”*

Me: “Saya bukan orang China. Saya orang Indonesia. Ini untuk keselamatan bapak.” *me replying to him in Bahasa Indonesia, translation: “I am not from China. I am from Indonesia. I am doing so for your safety, sir”*

(Stumped at my reply, he quickly tried to exit the aircraft while at the same time yelling in Bahasa Indonesia: “Rude, stupid people!”)

You’re An A**-Hole In Every Language

| UK | Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a complaints department for an airline based in the UK. We fly to hundreds of airports all over the world. This call comes through from an Italian gentleman who is irate from the beginning.)

Me: “Good morning, [Airline]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’ve been on hold for twenty f****** minutes! I just need to know why my refund hasn’t gone through!”

Me: “I’m sorry you were kept waiting, sir. We’ve been very busy today. Let me check if the refund has been processed yet. Do you know the amount and what it was for?”

Customer: “You’re not sorry at all; you’re just paid to say that! You English are all the same, thinking you can be polite and it will let you get away with treating your customers terribly!”

Me: *starting to get annoyed after a long morning being shouted at* “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. I’m trying to help you. Could you tell me what the refund you’re due is for?”

Customer: *grumbling* “I didn’t get the seat I paid for on my flight to Hong Kong last week! You promised it would be in my account by now and it’s not! I had to sit at the back of first class near the business-class people!”

Me: “Okay, let me see what happened.”

(I look through the transaction history for this flight. The total amount he spent on the flight was upwards of £8,000 and the total amount he would be due for a refund is £20. I scroll down and see that the amount was refunded to his credit card three days ago.)

Me: “Sir, I see on my system here that the £20 was refunded to your card ending **** on Thursday.”

Customer: “Are you calling me stupid? Don’t lie to me, you English b****! You’re all the same! I want my money back in the next hour! I’m never flying with you again! Your pilots can’t fly and they should learn to speak Italian!”

Me: “Are you suggesting out pilots learn the language of every country we fly to?”

Customer: “Of course! It’s common courtesy, something you English don’t seem to understand!”

Me: “Sir, we fly to hundreds of airports across the world. Instead of learning to speak languages from across the world, our pilots are making sure our passengers are safe on comfortable on every flight. However, regardless of whether you fly with us again or not, I can assure you that the money you were owed has been returned to you.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! You don’t have nearly the same high standards as [Competitor European Airline] have!”

Me: *impatient now* “You’re telling me that all pilots at [Competitor European Airline] can speak Italian, English, Hungarian, Japanese, Finnish, Spanish, Mandarin, Icelandic, Arabic, Hebrew, Russian—”

Customer: *click*

(I got a warning for that call, but I didn’t care.)

Minimum Wage Gets Minimum Recognition

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

(A man has come to the registers and is buying some travel sized shampoos.)

Customer: “I’m going overseas for a while. Thought I’d stock up.”

Me: “Oh, that’s exciting. Where are you heading?”

Customer: “India, Spain, and then Morocco for a year. It should be good.”

Me: “I’m so jealous! I’d love to go travelling when I can find the money.”

Customer: “You already have the money. You’re just spending it on other things.”

Me: *deadpan* “Yes, like rent. And food.”

(The man didn’t seem to comprehend that not everyone can afford to go overseas at all, much less for a year!)

Listen To The Lady’s Directions

| Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I’m the assistant manager of a deli at the Grand Canyon that, because of the landmark’s worldwide popularity, receives a lot of foreigners, especially Europeans. Consequently, they don’t know the country layout that well and ask any “official” looking employee about it. I am finishing ringing a foreign guest up on the till.)

Me: “And that’ll be [total]; is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me when we would see the ‘Liberty Lady?’” *he raises his fist like he’s holding a torch* “We’ve been driving since Florida and haven’t seen her yet.”

Me: “Sir, I think you’re going to have to go back the direction where you came from, and then North from there to see her.”

Customer: “You mean, she isn’t here?”

Me: “No, she is not. She is located in New York, which is about 2,500 miles to the North and East of where we are.”

Customer: *turns to wife* “I told you we should have stayed by the water!”

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