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Category: Tourists/Travel

Should Have Taken A Different Rhode

| Newport, RI, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I live and work in a popular tourist town on an island. We provide boat tours around the bay between the island and the mainland. A woman comes up to me.)

Woman: “How do you know when you cross state lines during the tour if you’re on the water?”

Me: “Well, our tours don’t leave the bay, so we don’t encounter that situation.”

Woman: “You don’t cross state lines?”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Woman: “Well, what’s that then?”

(She points at the mainland in the distance.)

Me: “That’s Providence, ma’am, and right across the bay is Jamestown.”

Woman: “No, no. What state is it?”

Me: “It’s still Rhode Island.”

Woman: “No, it can’t be. What state is it?”

Me: “I assure you, it’s still Rhode Island. Providence is the capital city.”

Woman: “How can the capital city of Rhode Island be outside of Rhode Island?”

Me: “It isn’t. All the land you see across the water is still Rhode Island.”

Woman: “But that’s impossible!”

(Suddenly I realize why she’s confused.)

Me: “Ma’am, the island we’re on right now is called Aquidneck Island. Rhode Island is a state comprised of several different islands and a large mainland. Providence is on the mainland and Jamestown is on Conanicut Island, which I assure you is still a part of Rhode Island.”

Woman: “You mean we’re not on Rhode Island?”

Me: “We are IN Rhode Island, but we are currently ON Aquidneck Island.”

Woman: “Well, that’s just false advertisement!”

A Titanic Lie

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | History, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

(In 2012, I am working at the end of the Titanic exhibit next to the wall of names of those who lost their lives. Next to the wall, is a sign saying that Jack and Rose from the movie are fictional characters, and were not actually present on the ship.)

Patron #1: “Did you know that Jack and Rose were real live people?”

Patron #2: “Oh, wow! I didn’t know they actually existed!”

Patron #1: “Oh, yeah! But the only reason they’re not on any lists is because Jack won his ticket and Rose changed her name!”

Me: “Ladies, if you’ll notice the sign next to the wall of the lost, you’ll see that they were actually fictional characters that never existed.”

Patron #1: “What? You lie! THEIR LOVE WAS REAL AND SO WERE THEY!” *storms out of the exhibit*

Not Even Remotely Thinking

| Ruidoso, NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I work for a small shop in town. We get a few tourist high points a year. It’s a mountain town with a population of about 8,000. It’s only 20 minutes away from another town and about 45 minutes from a larger city.)

Customer: “How do you people live out here?”

Me: “What? What do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s so… remote.”

Me: “Oh, well, we have everything we need here. Also, there is larger city about 45 minutes away if we need something that we cannot find here. Besides, it’s beautiful here.”

Customer: “But… do you have electricity?”

Me: *looks at all the lights in the store, the electronic cash register and the neon sign outside, the lamp posts outside and the traffic lights* “Yes… yes, we do.”

Customer: “What about plumbing?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Positive?”

Customer: “What about [popular and huge hotel]? Do they have lights and toilets?”

Me: “Yes… everywhere here does. Literally, everywhere.”

Customer: “But… it’s so remote. How do they get the lights here?”

Me: “….wires and light poles?”

Customer: “But where do the wires come from?”

Me: “The nearest power station?”

Customer: “What about water?”

Me: “Pipes, and it would come from the nearest water treatment plant, which we have here.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand you people at all.”

Me: “Well, enjoy your stay…”

Customer: “Do the people here have cars?”

Me: “Have you seen cars since you have been here?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “There you go.”