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Category: Tourists/Travel

Accentuating The Problem, Part Trois

| France | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I’m on one of those 12-countries-in-8-days bus trip through Europe. Our group, mostly composed of Americans, pulls into a gift shop. Behind the counter, a young French girl, apparently new to the job, is excited to be able to practice her English. As a Canadian, it is also a chance for me to practice my French. We’ve been able to communicate pretty well and I tell her that her English is quite good. She is delighted.  An old Southern gentleman walks up the counter, places an item in front of the clerk.)

Customer: “Emma chizzit?” *how much is it?*

(The clerk just stares, crestfallen. She is not even sure that her customer is speaking English, much less what he means.)

Me: “Qu’elle prix?” *what price?*

(And the clerk bubbles back to life, able to answer the customer in, again, decent English!)

Related:

Accentuating The Problem, Part Deux
Accentuating The Problem

Employees Who Have Spirit

| GA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Tourists/Travel

(I am a hotel concierge, and a few customers are talking about the prices of late-night ghost tours of the city.)

Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #1]?”

Me: “That one is [Expensive Price], and it’s inside an air-conditioned trolley that goes through most of downtown.”

Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #2?]”

Me: “That one’s [Cheap Price], and it’s a walking tour inside of a graveyard. There’s also a tour in a modified hearse that’s [Cheaper Price], and it’s the most economical.”

Customer: “Well, what tour can I get for two dollars?”

(Most of the prices are over twenty dollars, and my mother has a strange way of dealing with customers that try to lowball the prices.)

Me: “For two dollars, I’ll take your family into the bathroom, turn off the lights, and go ‘WoooOOOooooOOO!’ like a ghost.”

A Runway Runaway

| Louisburg, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a small airport in Louisburg. We don’t have many commercial planes fly in but when we do they are normal small bush planes with only a few people on board. We have had a runway problem and can’t let any planes take off today, as the runway is having work done.)

Pilot: “Excuse me, but why has my flight been canceled?”

Me: “We are having a problem with our runway and can’t take any flights today.”

Pilot: “Well, that’s bull-s***. I was just out there and it was fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry but as you can see…” *points out to runway with workers* “There are people working on it today.”

Pilot: “NO! I SEE NOTHING. NOW LET ME THROUGH TO GET TO MY PLANE!”

Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry but I cannot let you through. Can you please calm down; I will be able to get you in the air first thing tomorrow.”

Pilot: “No, I’ve had enough of you. Out of my WAY!”

(He then pushed me out of the way and onto the floor and started to walk over to the hanger. I scrambled to my feet and called the workers and my supervisor to tell them what was coming, and called the police. The other worker and I sprinted over to the hanger and managed to get the hanger door closed before he could start the plane. After a while the police came and took him away, as he was going to try and take off with people working on the runway!)

Should Have Taken A Different Rhode

| Newport, RI, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I live and work in a popular tourist town on an island. We provide boat tours around the bay between the island and the mainland. A woman comes up to me.)

Woman: “How do you know when you cross state lines during the tour if you’re on the water?”

Me: “Well, our tours don’t leave the bay, so we don’t encounter that situation.”

Woman: “You don’t cross state lines?”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Woman: “Well, what’s that then?”

(She points at the mainland in the distance.)

Me: “That’s Providence, ma’am, and right across the bay is Jamestown.”

Woman: “No, no. What state is it?”

Me: “It’s still Rhode Island.”

Woman: “No, it can’t be. What state is it?”

Me: “I assure you, it’s still Rhode Island. Providence is the capital city.”

Woman: “How can the capital city of Rhode Island be outside of Rhode Island?”

Me: “It isn’t. All the land you see across the water is still Rhode Island.”

Woman: “But that’s impossible!”

(Suddenly I realize why she’s confused.)

Me: “Ma’am, the island we’re on right now is called Aquidneck Island. Rhode Island is a state comprised of several different islands and a large mainland. Providence is on the mainland and Jamestown is on Conanicut Island, which I assure you is still a part of Rhode Island.”

Woman: “You mean we’re not on Rhode Island?”

Me: “We are IN Rhode Island, but we are currently ON Aquidneck Island.”

Woman: “Well, that’s just false advertisement!”

A Titanic Lie

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | History, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

(In 2012, I am working at the end of the Titanic exhibit next to the wall of names of those who lost their lives. Next to the wall, is a sign saying that Jack and Rose from the movie are fictional characters, and were not actually present on the ship.)

Patron #1: “Did you know that Jack and Rose were real live people?”

Patron #2: “Oh, wow! I didn’t know they actually existed!”

Patron #1: “Oh, yeah! But the only reason they’re not on any lists is because Jack won his ticket and Rose changed her name!”

Me: “Ladies, if you’ll notice the sign next to the wall of the lost, you’ll see that they were actually fictional characters that never existed.”

Patron #1: “What? You lie! THEIR LOVE WAS REAL AND SO WERE THEY!” *storms out of the exhibit*

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