Category: Tourists/Travel

If You Fail To Plan…

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Sir, in order for you to travel to Indonesia without a visa, you need to show proof to Immigration that you will leave the country within 90 days. Otherwise I would not be able to give you a boarding pass today.”

Passenger: “I might go to Vietnam or Singapore, but I’m not sure yet.”

Me: “Sir, is it possible that you buy a ticket now? To anywhere out of Indonesia.”

Passenger: “How am I supposed to buy a ticket when I don’t know where I’m going to?”

Me: “Sir, buying a ticket doesn’t mean you’re using it.”

Passenger: “But what date? I don’t even know when I will leave.”

Me: “Sir, you can buy a ticket with an open date or change the date later.”

Passenger: “Like I said, I don’t know when and where I’m going to leave Bali. I’m a person that doesn’t make plans!”

Delayed Reaction

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel

Passenger: “Why is there nobody to inform me about the delay?! I came all the way from San Francisco and now that I’m here you tell me there is a delay!”

Me: “Sir, some people sign up for email alert from the airport or the airlines for possible delays.”

Passenger: “Who are those ‘some people’?! I talked to everyone here! Nobody knew about the delay before!”

Me: “Sir, those people who have signed up and received an alert wouldn’t even bother to come to the airport. People are here because they did not sign up and did not know there is a delay.”

You Mexi-Can’t Say Things Like That

| FL, USA | Bigotry, Tourists/Travel

(I work for a third-party passport expediting company. A customer calls me PANICKING because she has a trip coming up the very next day to go to Mexico, and she just now realized she needs a passport. As we discuss her options, it becomes apparent that she does not have the documentation necessary to even obtain a passport.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without the necessary documentation you cannot get a passport. And you must have a passport to travel internationally.”

Caller: “But… come on! Is anyone really going to ID me? I’m white.”

Won’t Get Her Pie In The Sky

| WA, Australia | Food & Drink, Tourists/Travel

(I work in an Australian department store which has a food hall. An elderly customer approaches our bakery which sells fresh cakes and pies.)

Customer: “Hello, dearie, I’d like a steak and kidney pie.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t sell steak and kidney pies, but we do have a selection of others.”

(I proceed to read the selection to the customer.)

Customer: “I’ll have the beef and mushroom pie, then.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

Customer: “Can you pack it well? I want to take it on the plane.”

Me: “The plane?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m flying back to London today.”

Me: “You want to take a fresh pie with meat products in it on an international flight back to England?”

Customer: “Yes, of course.”

Me: “You can’t take food that isn’t sealed out of the country and into another one.”

Customer: “Of course I can. Just sell me the pie”

(I sold the customer the pie and I still wonder how far she made it before customs stopped her.)

They’re Un-bear-able

| Gatlinburg, TN, USA | Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(My sister and I work in a store that is located in a tourist town just outside the Smoky Mountain National Park.)

Customer: “We want to see the bears.”

(Black bears are a very popular part of the wildlife in the National Park and area. They actually come to my house all of the time.)

Me: “Well, you can go up to Ober Gatlinburg where they have a bear pen.”

Customer: “Oh, no, we want to see them in the wild.”

Me: “That’ll be hard to arrange…”

Customer: “Say, what time do they let the bears out in the park?”

Me: “They don’t let them out. They are wild animals. They come whenever they want to.”

Customer: “Then how can we see them?”

Me: “Well, you could drive around Mt Leconte and get lucky. Or you could just leave your garbage out on your front porch and wait. They’ll come.”

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