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Category: Tourists/Travel

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Dishing The Dirt

| Jupiter, FL, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I’m walking outside for my lunch break when I see a lady on her knees feeling the ground in front of our steps.)

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, hi, I noticed you have this nice black volcanic sand here and I was wondering if there are any nearby beaches with it?”

Me: *trying to contain my laughter* “No, ma’am, that’s dirt.”

(She turned bright red, stood up, brushed off her hands, and walked away.)

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Not Have A Wale(s) Of A Time

| Wales, UK | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(The football world cup is on. A lot of English ex-pats have retired to our town and are displaying their flags. A lot of the Welsh people who live in town also choose to display Welsh flags, all year around.)

Customer: “Take them down.”

Me: “Sir? Take what down?”

Customer: “The bloody flags, you idiot. Take them down!”

Me: “Sir, respectfully I’d like to know what flags? We have none on display here.”

Customer: “Not here, you bimbo. All over the bloody town. F****** Welsh flags! It’s the world cup. YOU should be supporting ENGLAND.”

Me: “I don’t control what flags residents and other businesses choose to display – besides, this IS Wales. Many people are as proud to be Welsh as you obviously are to be English.”

Customer: “Well, it’s disrespecting the Queen.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Do you have a query I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah. I want these for the grandkids.”

(He hands me a fistful of souvenirs that all say ‘WALES/CYMRU’ on them, including a football with Welsh dragons on it, several Welsh flag erasers, and… a miniature Welsh flag!)

Me: “Uh… sure. That’ll be [price]. Have a great day!”

Customer: *leaves, muttering to himself* “Bloody foreigners. No respect.”

Coworker: “Welsh? Foreigners in our own country?”

Me: “Ah, [Coworker], did you not know that EVERYWHERE is foreign, even if you are English and somewhere besides England? It is everybody else and not you who is the foreigner.”

Coworker: “I hope Scotland votes ‘yes.’ Then, maybe we can think about leaving, too!”

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Flight Plight

| Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(A group of passengers whose flight has been delayed, causing them to miss connections, is waiting for a ticket agent to reschedule them to their destinations. Passenger #1 is a middle aged woman who has been complaining and berating the ticket agent.)

Passenger #1: “I can’t believe you can’t get me on an earlier flight! I have been traveling since ten this morning trying to get home to see my family! Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?!”

Passenger #2: *a teenage girl who up till now has been waiting quietly* “Lady, I don’t want to hear any more of your complaining. I’ve been traveling since five this morning Paris time, and I’m too tired to figure out the time difference. My luggage was lost at O’Hare, and I haven’t seen my family in a month. Now, I may be just a teenager, but even I know that this is going to go a lot faster for everyone if you just let the nice lady behind the counter do her job!”

Passenger #1: *shuts up*

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