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Category: Tourists/Travel

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Minimum Wage Gets Minimum Recognition

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

(A man has come to the registers and is buying some travel sized shampoos.)

Customer: “I’m going overseas for a while. Thought I’d stock up.”

Me: “Oh, that’s exciting. Where are you heading?”

Customer: “India, Spain, and then Morocco for a year. It should be good.”

Me: “I’m so jealous! I’d love to go travelling when I can find the money.”

Customer: “You already have the money. You’re just spending it on other things.”

Me: *deadpan* “Yes, like rent. And food.”

(The man didn’t seem to comprehend that not everyone can afford to go overseas at all, much less for a year!)

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Listen To The Lady’s Directions

| Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I’m the assistant manager of a deli at the Grand Canyon that, because of the landmark’s worldwide popularity, receives a lot of foreigners, especially Europeans. Consequently, they don’t know the country layout that well and ask any “official” looking employee about it. I am finishing ringing a foreign guest up on the till.)

Me: “And that’ll be [total]; is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me when we would see the ‘Liberty Lady?’” *he raises his fist like he’s holding a torch* “We’ve been driving since Florida and haven’t seen her yet.”

Me: “Sir, I think you’re going to have to go back the direction where you came from, and then North from there to see her.”

Customer: “You mean, she isn’t here?”

Me: “No, she is not. She is located in New York, which is about 2,500 miles to the North and East of where we are.”

Customer: *turns to wife* “I told you we should have stayed by the water!”

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They’re Not The Brightest Star In The Sky

| Plainsboro, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I lifeguard at a pool in a residential neighborhood. We’re required by state law to check the chlorine and PH of the water every hour. As I’m testing the chemicals, a woman approaches.)

Woman: “Is the chlorine all right? Is it safe to come in?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Woman: “Okay, because last time we came here, when we went home our skin was dark!”

Me: “Oh, the chlorine wouldn’t do that to your skin.”

Woman: “No? Then what would?!”

Me: “…The sun?”

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You’ve Been Benched

| MA, USA | History, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a historic site in Massachusetts, and we have strict no-touching rules. The customer had just purchased admission.)

Me: “All right, now, before you head in, just a reminder not to touch any of the furniture inside, as the pieces are several hundred years old.”

(The customer gives a noncommittal grunt before going into the site. Not five minutes later, I look inside and see him sitting on an 18th century bench, which I should add, has a rope across it to stop people from sitting on it.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t sit there.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “The furniture pieces here are historic, and we can’t have visitors sitting on them.”

Customer: “Well, if you don’t want people sitting on the furniture, you should inform them before they pay!”

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Take That Complaint Where The Sun Don’t Shine

| Puerto de Alcúdia, Balearic Islands, Spain | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(I am working the night-shift at the reception desk of a hotel. In come a family of four to check-in. Everything goes well, until, 15 minutes later, the father comes back.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but you have to give us another room. This is not what we’ve booked.”

Me: *after having checked the information on the arrival’s sheet* “Well, you booked sea-view, and that room has full frontal sea-view.”

Customer: “No, we have no view at all. We are looking at a pitch black wall.”

Me: “Maybe that’s because it’s two o’clock in the morning.”

Customer: “Oh! So, tomorrow we are going to have sea-view?”

Me: “Yes, as soon as the sun rises you will have the most beautiful, unobstructed sea-view.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Thanks.”

(The customer retreated a little more hastily than normal.)

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