Category: Tourists/Travel

They’re Talking Gumbo-Jumbo

| SC, USA | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, I am a travel planner looking for some information for a client of mine and I was wondering if you could help me.”

Me: “I certainly can. What information do you need?”

Caller: “Do you know where they might hold Mardi Gras celebrations?”

(This throws me off a bit, as Mardi Gras isn’t a big thing around here at all, and anyway it had already happened the week before.)

Me: “I don’t see anything on our events calendar. Since Mardi Gras already happened I don’t think we’d see any events until next year, and our members don’t usually plan them so far ahead.”

Caller: *confused, but still pleasant* “All right. Also… do you know of any Cajun churches?”

Me: “Er… we don’t have a huge Cajun culture around here. We do have a significant Gullah Geechee community, but they don’t really have churches that are open to visitors.”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Did I call [My City]?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “I meant to call New Orleans. I am so sorry.”

(We had a good laugh and I was able to give her some information about the city I actually work for. Still one of the best calls I’ve ever gotten.)

Your Scam Tactics Need An Upgrade

, | Miami, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Tourists/Travel

(I work at the counter to check in passengers and I get stupid people all the time but this one takes the cake.)

Me: “Welcome to [Airline]. How can I help?”

Passenger: “Yes, I like to check in to [Destination] and also I’d like to do an upgrade, I have a doctor’s note that says I have to fly in first or business class.”

(I smile and laugh a little because I thought he was joking around but I see how serious he is and doesn’t find my laughing amusing.)

Passenger: “I don’t know what’s so funny; I have doctor’s note, so be more professional and do your job.”

Me: *after hearing that I put on a serious face and then reply* “Okay, sir, I have an upgrade available for $389. How would you like to purchase that?”

Passenger: “Don’t you understand that I have a doctor’s note?”

Me: *still with a serious face* “Well, sir, is your insurance going to cover this upgrade?”

Passenger: *with a confused face* “No, my, insurance doesn’t cover that.”

Me: “Well then, sir, you are going to have to do it like the rest of the country and pay out of your pocket.”

Slightly Bending (Over) The Truth

| Leiden, The Netherlands | Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a visitor center, where I arrange the group activities. In the beginning of September, a customer booked a canal cruise in an open boat with her group of 30 participants. Almost two months later, I receive this e-mail from her:)

Customer: “I would like to give some feedback on our activity in September. During our canal cruise, the skipper of our boat was very clumsy because he collided several times against the wall.”

(I directly contacted thecruise company; the manager and I know each other very well. I send him the customer’s complaint by mail and I get an answer almost immediately:)

Manager: “Haha, yes, I remember this cruise and customer! Oh, my god, that this customer is blaming our skipper! During the cruise, the boat will pass a lot of bridges, so before passing one bridge, the whole group had to bend over because of the low bridge. One customer exaggerated while bending over and hit the throttle! You can guess what happened then…”

Having A Flight Of Fancy

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a call centre for a well-known airline.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Airline]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to change my flight; reference is [random succession of numbers].”

Me: “Okay, the number you have provided is not a [Airline] reference. Did you book through a travel agent or third party website?”

Customer: “No, it’s actually a reference for [Different Airline]. Can’t you change it? You all fly planes anyway.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but we operate on an in-house system only used by this airline. I cannot change another airline’s booking through our system. You will need to call the airline direct. Would you like me to try and locate a number?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Where is your customer service? I have never had my intelligence insulted so badly. Where is your manager? I’ve done something wrong on my booking and it NEEDS to be changed. Change my booking now!”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we are very busy today and our managers are busy dealing with customers of our airline. You will need to call the airline you made the booking with and they will be able to change it for you. Was there anything else?”

Customer: “I will write to your CEO and complain! This is ridiculous. Change my f****** booking right now or I’ll call your manager and get you fired! Where is your customer service, you uneducated p***k?! I am telling you right now, CHANGE MY BOOKING! You all fly F****** PLANES! YOU. FLY. PLANES. It can’t be that f****** hard! I am not calling another airline’s PREMIUM RATE NUMBER when your number is free and you can do it anyway!”

Me: “Ah, so the problem is you don’t want to pay. Well then, sir, in future I suggest checking the price to call before you make a mistake on a booking in future. Now if you don’t mind, I have customers of THIS airline to attend to. Goodbye.”

(I could almost feel him having a mini-aneurism through the phone, along with his white-hot rage at being wrong. Don’t you just love customers?!)

The Value Of The Dollar Is Niagara Falling

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

(The company I work for is one of the many which takes photographs of people in tourist destinations.)

Customer: “I want my photos. They are really nice.”

(The customer proceeds to take out American currency, which is not exact.)

Me: “We can accept the American dollar, but I cannot give you back change in American. You will receive $1.75 cents back in Canadian.”

Customer: “WHAT? WHY?”

Me: “Well, we are in Canada, and it’s our company’s policy. I can take card, if you prefer.”

Customer: “No. I don’t want ANYMORE of your Canadian money. I can’t use it. I don’t care how small the change is, I DO NOT WANT IT.”

Fellow Employee: “You can use it up at the coffee shop if you’d like—”

Customer: “NO. NO COFFEE. NO MORE OF THIS.”

Me: “Well, there’s nothing I can do, then. I am sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.”

Me: “You are in Canada. Would you anticipate getting American back in say, Britain? Australia? It’s our legal tender. It’s a courtesy we extend to you because our banks also use Canadian currency.”

Customer: “MAYBE I’ll just order online. This is ridiculous.”

Me: “All right, please do so. Have a nice day.”

Page 1/6612345...Last