Category: Tourists/Travel

Slightly Bending (Over) The Truth

| Leiden, The Netherlands | Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a visitor center, where I arrange the group activities. In the beginning of September, a customer booked a canal cruise in an open boat with her group of 30 participants. Almost two months later, I receive this e-mail from her:)

Customer: “I would like to give some feedback on our activity in September. During our canal cruise, the skipper of our boat was very clumsy because he collided several times against the wall.”

(I directly contacted thecruise company; the manager and I know each other very well. I send him the customer’s complaint by mail and I get an answer almost immediately:)

Manager: “Haha, yes, I remember this cruise and customer! Oh, my god, that this customer is blaming our skipper! During the cruise, the boat will pass a lot of bridges, so before passing one bridge, the whole group had to bend over because of the low bridge. One customer exaggerated while bending over and hit the throttle! You can guess what happened then…”

Having A Flight Of Fancy

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a call centre for a well-known airline.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Airline]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to change my flight; reference is [random succession of numbers].”

Me: “Okay, the number you have provided is not a [Airline] reference. Did you book through a travel agent or third party website?”

Customer: “No, it’s actually a reference for [Different Airline]. Can’t you change it? You all fly planes anyway.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but we operate on an in-house system only used by this airline. I cannot change another airline’s booking through our system. You will need to call the airline direct. Would you like me to try and locate a number?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Where is your customer service? I have never had my intelligence insulted so badly. Where is your manager? I’ve done something wrong on my booking and it NEEDS to be changed. Change my booking now!”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we are very busy today and our managers are busy dealing with customers of our airline. You will need to call the airline you made the booking with and they will be able to change it for you. Was there anything else?”

Customer: “I will write to your CEO and complain! This is ridiculous. Change my f****** booking right now or I’ll call your manager and get you fired! Where is your customer service, you uneducated p***k?! I am telling you right now, CHANGE MY BOOKING! You all fly F****** PLANES! YOU. FLY. PLANES. It can’t be that f****** hard! I am not calling another airline’s PREMIUM RATE NUMBER when your number is free and you can do it anyway!”

Me: “Ah, so the problem is you don’t want to pay. Well then, sir, in future I suggest checking the price to call before you make a mistake on a booking in future. Now if you don’t mind, I have customers of THIS airline to attend to. Goodbye.”

(I could almost feel him having a mini-aneurism through the phone, along with his white-hot rage at being wrong. Don’t you just love customers?!)

The Value Of The Dollar Is Niagara Falling

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

(The company I work for is one of the many which takes photographs of people in tourist destinations.)

Customer: “I want my photos. They are really nice.”

(The customer proceeds to take out American currency, which is not exact.)

Me: “We can accept the American dollar, but I cannot give you back change in American. You will receive $1.75 cents back in Canadian.”

Customer: “WHAT? WHY?”

Me: “Well, we are in Canada, and it’s our company’s policy. I can take card, if you prefer.”

Customer: “No. I don’t want ANYMORE of your Canadian money. I can’t use it. I don’t care how small the change is, I DO NOT WANT IT.”

Fellow Employee: “You can use it up at the coffee shop if you’d like—”

Customer: “NO. NO COFFEE. NO MORE OF THIS.”

Me: “Well, there’s nothing I can do, then. I am sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.”

Me: “You are in Canada. Would you anticipate getting American back in say, Britain? Australia? It’s our legal tender. It’s a courtesy we extend to you because our banks also use Canadian currency.”

Customer: “MAYBE I’ll just order online. This is ridiculous.”

Me: “All right, please do so. Have a nice day.”

They Are Bali Listening

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am in the bakery to buy bread when I overhear an argument. It’s clear that this customer is a regular, since the bakers have a bit of a laugh with him.)

Customer: “Where were you last week?”

Baker: “I was in Bali.”

Customer: “What? Why were you there?”

Baker: “Uh… for a holiday?”

Customer: “But why go on holiday?”

Baker: “Because… I wanted to? And it was nice there?”

(The customer goes on and on about Bali being a horrible place, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Bali? It’s a beautiful place.”

Customer: “Never been. Don’t want to go. I’m allergic to Bali.”

The Landing Went Down The Toilet

| Singapore | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a cabin crew member in economy class, preparing for landing. We are all set and waiting for the captain to announce our landing position, when suddenly an elderly passenger, in the last row, gets up to use the lavatory.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sir, we will be landing soon. The lavatory can no longer be used at this moment.”

Passenger: “I need to use the toilet now!” *shoves his way past me and into the lavatory*

(I have to inform the crew in charge about the situation so that the captain will not make the landing. After the passenger comes out from the lavatory and quietly goes back to his seat, the captain proceeds to make a safe landing. When the aircraft is on ground and passengers are getting up to exit the aircraft, the same passenger comes up to my face.)

Passenger: “You are very rude! No one had ever done that to me. Do you know I have the contact to your company’s president? I have his number right here on my mobile!”

Me: “Sir, it was for your own safety. And if you like to report me to the president, please go ahead. This is my name.”

Passenger: “What if I peed right here in the aircraft?”

Me: “Sir, it was for your safety. You could have gone before we were ready for landing or after landing.”

Passenger: “Kamu orang China bodoh!” *speaking in Bahasa Indonesia, translation: “You stupid China people.”*

Me: “Saya bukan orang China. Saya orang Indonesia. Ini untuk keselamatan bapak.” *me replying to him in Bahasa Indonesia, translation: “I am not from China. I am from Indonesia. I am doing so for your safety, sir”*

(Stumped at my reply, he quickly tried to exit the aircraft while at the same time yelling in Bahasa Indonesia: “Rude, stupid people!”)

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