Category: Top

A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle

| Detroit, MI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

(It’s Christmas Eve. I’m waiting tables with one other waitress for the night at a diner. This waitress is a sweetheart, but has had a terrible year. She was evicted from her apartment shortly after her boyfriend died, leaving her a homeless single mother, crashing on couches, trying to finish her last year of nursing school. A man who comes in regularly asks to be placed at one of her tables. He orders a single cup of coffee, and asks for the check.)

Customer: “Miss, I have my money to pay.”

Waitress: “All right. So, that’s $1.10.”

(The customer takes her hand in his, places a wad of money in it, and closes it.)

Customer: “Merry Christmas. Keep the change.”

(He left without saying another word. She opened her hand and burst into uncontrollable tears when she found $500.00 with a note that said ‘For Mama and Baby.’)

Wise To The Pennywise

| Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Hall of Fame, Math & Science, Money, Top

(I am a customer waiting in line. There is only one register open, and the woman before me with her five grown children only has five items. The cashier gives the woman her total.)

Customer: “That’s not right. You didn’t add the coupons.”

Cashier: “I did, ma’am. They were on [item #1] and [item #2]. The coupons do not apply to already discounted items.”

Customer: “But it should be less. You’re cheating me out of $1.20!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, your coupons did apply. You had two of them and they went to the two items not on sale. The other three items were on sale.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You see me with these kids?” *she gestures to her five grown children wandering around the aisle* “I have to feed them tonight! I need that money! You are cheating me!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I can go over the receipt with you to show you exactly how the register calculated your total. Or I can return the items if you need the money.”

Customer: “No! I know I am right!”

(This goes on for 15 minutes, with the line behind me building. A manager is called up to explain that there was no error, but the customer keeps insisting. The manager tries to get the cashier onto another register to help the line, but the customer is refusing to let anyone leave their spot.)

Customer: “You’re cheating me out of my money! I should call your head office. You are cheating a poor mother so she can’t feed her kids. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Me: *fed up* “Ma’am, if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give you $1.20 to cover your purchase. In fact, we can start up a collection. Everyone! This poor woman is unable to pay for some of her order, and she needs every penny that she can to feed her kids. Let’s ignore the fact that all of them are holding iPhone 5s and the three young ladies have Coach and Gucci bags that are probably worth more than what any of us make in a month. This woman can’t afford to feed them, and is spending her money on general crafting supplies. Who would like to help me pay for the $1.20 that she can’t cover on her purchase?”

(The customer starts fuming and stomps off without her items; her wide eyed kids walking behind her in shock. I was called up to the register a moment later.)

Cashier: “Thank you…”

Me: “No need. I have dealt with b****es like that for years. I’ve always wanted to do that and not worry about getting fired!”

Cookies Are The Devil

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Top

(In the sandwich shop where I work, we have a daily special for a different six-inch sub each day. If you order two specials, the total, including tax, will always come out to $6.66. On this day, two elderly ladies come in wearing nun’s wimples and veils.)

Nun #1: “Hello, dear. I’d like a six-inch [special], please.”

Nun #2: “Oh, that sounds good! I’ll have the same.”

(I make the sandwiches and go to the register to ring them up.)

Me: “Okay, your total comes to $6.66.”

Nun #1: “Well, I’d say that’s the Lord’s way of telling us to get dessert! We’ll take two cookies, please!”

See this story as a comic!