Category: Top

Getting Shorted

| Miami, FL, USA | Top

(At our store, we sell individual tea bags for fifty cents each. Free hot tap water and a foam cup come with each bag sold. One customer, a man in his thirties, has been coming in and buying a single bag of tea every Sunday for two years, but he never takes the water or the cup.)

Customer: “I’d like a refund of $50 please.”

Me: “We don’t sell anything that expensive.”

Customer: “Well, I bought 100 of those herbal mixes and they haven’t done a d*** thing.”

Me: “You mean the tea you buy every week?”

Customer: “No, the herbal mixes in the little yellow packets.”

Me: “Yes, that’s tea.”

Customer: “You mean it won’t make my man parts larger?”

Me: “No, it’s a beverage.”

Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.”

(He leaves, disappointed. I never saw him again.)

That’s A Wrap On The Rap

| Norway | Top

(I am a receptionist at a local gym. We use radio instead of CDs–normally hip-hop/pop music radio channels. An elderly gentleman, probably in his 80s, walks up to the reception with a kind smile. He is the only member working out at this early hour.)

Customer: “Young man, do you mind changing the radio channel?”

Me: “No, of course not. What kind of music would you like to listen to?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care. I’m just tired of being told to f*** my deceased mother.”

Mommy Says All Men Are Evil

| Bridgeport, CT, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(A three-year-old boy is playing with some dolls at the day care center and separating them into families.)

Boy: “And this is the mommy, and this is the daughter, and this is the other mommy, and this is the son and the daughter, and this is the other mommy–”

Worker: “Where are all the daddies?”

Boy: “They’re in jail.”