Category: Top

Your Attitude Is Teri-yucky

| Sammamish, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(Note: I work at a restaurant that specializes only in teriyaki-style food.)

Customer: “So, what kind of food do you guys sell here?”

Me: “We sell teriyaki.”

Customer: “Is your chicken teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is your beef teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is your pork teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes, the majority of our menu is teriyaki.”

Customer: *looking upset* “You should really have more variety. I don’t want teriyaki. I didn’t wait in line for 15 minutes for teriyaki!”

Next customer in line: “Well, then, get the f**k out of a teriyaki restaurant!”

Pointing Out The Obvious

| Luton, UK | Family & Kids, Top

(A 4-year-old child has trapped her finger in a door, so I’m going over the accident form with her mother when she comes to pick her up.)

Mother: “Index finger? What the h*** is that?”

Me: *showing her* “This one here.”

Mother: “What? That’s a pointer-finger.”

Me: “Well, yes, but in medicine it’s called the index finger.”

Mother: “That’s not true. I’ve never heard that. Is that supposed to be funny? Just because I’m a woman–”

Me: “Well, no–”

Mother: “Yes, it is! What kind of a man works at a nursery anyway?”

Child: “A man who knows about fingers!”

Got Love In The Bank

| UK | Health & Body, Top

(I’m answering the phone at the bank I work at. Note that 999 is the emergency number in England.)

Me: “Hello, it’s Katy at [bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My husband’s having a heart attack.”

Me: “You need to call 999.”

Customer: “I’d like to take his name off the bank account.”

Me: “Call 999.”

Customer: “No, I want him to die. So, can you just take his name off?

Me: “No, call 999!”

Customer: “Take his name off!”

Me: “Not unless he comes to the bank and signs it. Right now, you need to call 999.”

Customer: “We’ll be right there.”

Me: “No! Call 999!”

(Two minutes later, a woman comes in and speaks to my coworker.)

Customer: “I think my husband’s dead.”

Coworker: “Erm…have you called an ambulance?”

Customer: “No, because your employee Katy said to come here and not call 999!”

Me:“No, I didn’t! I’ve got the call recorded and I specifically told you to call 999! Where is your husband?”

Customer: “In the car.”

(I go outside and see an unconscious man in a car. I call an ambulance and they take him to the hospital. Several weeks later, the man comes in to sign a form. It states that he doesn’t want to share a bank account with his now ex-wife.)

Related:
She’s Nuts About Her Husband
Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance