Category: Top

Unfortunately, Stupidity Is Forever

| Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

(I have reddish brown hair with the underside dyed teal. Today, my hair is up in a clip, which makes it very visible.)

Customer: “Ugh, why would you do that to yourself?”

Me: “I’m sorry, do what?”

Customer: “Dye your hair that awful color! Are you that desperate for attention?”

Me: “No, teal is just my favorite color, and it makes me happy. And the great thing about hair is that it isn’t permanent.”

Customer: “I don’t get you rebellious teenagers.”

Me: “I’m 24 and very happily married. I’m not trying to rebel against anyone or anything. I just like teal, ma’am.”

Customer: “What are you going to tell your kids when they ask why mommy has blue hair?”

Me: “Oh, it’ll definitely be gone by then.”

Customer: *walks out with a big tramp stamp sticking out from the bottom of her shirt*

Next They’ll Be Huffing Parmesan

| Canberra, Australia | Food & Drink, Top

(I have been out the back making dough before serving the customer. I haven’t had time to clean myself up a bit, so I have flour on my shirt.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: *looking at my shirt* “Can I speak to the manager right away, please?”

Me: *confused* “Um, okay.”

(I call the manager over.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want to complain about this employee. He has drugs on his shirt. He should be fired immediately!”

Manager: *joking* “But, then, where would I get my supply from?”

Customer: *looks shocked, and then storms out of the store*

Next customer in line: “Can I get a Hawaiian pizza on the thin base with extra drugs, please?”

Going From Positive To Negative

, | Singapore | Top

(This happens after I help an old lady with a home theater system for over an hour and a half, explaining every little detail and giving her a demo.)

Customer: “Thank you very much, young lady. I’m sorry for taking too much of your time.”

Me: “You’re welcome. No worries. It’s my pleasure to help you.”

Customer: “I know some of my questions are stupid, but you are very patient.”

Me: “Not a problem at all. Some of these things can be very confusing, even for myself, and I work here!”

Customer: “I should give a compliment letter about you.”

Me: “Wow, thanks very much. You can do that at the cashier. Oh, by the way–the remote control doesn’t have any batteries. Should we go get them now? It will save you a trip.”

Customer: “That’s a great idea!”

(We proceed to go to the battery section of the store.)

Me: “So, here we are, you need two AAs.”

Customer: “Do you have the [brand] ones?”

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I think we just ran out. We have other brands though. Would you like to try?”

Customer: “You and your f***ing store! I’ve never received such terrible service! This is the reason why people don’t go back here! I will have you fired! You will never work again!”

Me: *speechless*