Category: Top

Less Is More, More Or Less

| Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Top

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, I have two coupons here. One is a large pizza, four sodas, and 70 tokens for $29.99. The other is for a large pizza, four sodas, wings, and 110 tokens for $29.99. Which one is better?”

Me: “Well, I’d personally go with the second one. It’s the same price, plus you get an extra order of wings and 40 more tokens.”

Customer: “You’re just trying to get more money off of me, so you picked the worse deal. I’ll take the first coupon, idiot!”

Somebody Took An Evolutionary Detour

| Restaurant | UK | Food & Drink, Top

(The waitress is trying to take our orders when a customer from the next table rudely interrupts.)

Customer: *interrupting* “Is the fish suitable for vegetarians?”

Waitress: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “The fish. Is it suitable for vegetarians?”

Waitress: *very politely* “No, it’s meat.”

Customer: “But it doesn’t say that there’s any meat. It says fish and chips and peas.”

Waitress: “The fish is meat.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. Only mammals have meat, like cows and chickens.”

Me: “Chickens aren’t mammals.”

Customer: “Of course they are; they have meat! Honestly, don’t you know how rude it is to interrupt somebody else’s conversation?!”

Time For A Can Of Womb-A**

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(I’m seven months pregnant and am working the checkout.)

Customer: “Oh, you’re pregnant! It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, she is.”

Customer: “I could tell. Girls take all the beauty away from their mothers.”