Category: Top

Even The Bank Of Dad Has Gone Under

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(A dad and his three kids who are all around 7 or 8 years old is my checkout line. He is buying four six packs of tall cans of liquor.)

Me: “That will be $26.”

Dad: “Okay.” *pulls money out of his pockets* “Shoot, I only have $20.”

(He turns to one of his kids.)

Dad: “Yo, lend me six bucks.”

Kid: “S***, get your own money!”

Dad: “Come on, I just need six more dollars.”

Kid: F*** you.”

Dad: “Hey, come on! I’ll pay you back when we get home!”

Kid: *hands him some money and mumbles* “Broke a** motherf***er.”

We Can See Through Your Whine

| Margarita, Venezuela | Food & Drink, Top

Me: “Evening! Welcome to [restaurant]. How can I serve you?”

Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t see the Californian wine in the menu.”

Me: “That’s because we don’t have it, miss.”

Customer: “And why is that, exactly? I am a wine lover. The Californian wine is the very best and I only drink the very best.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, because the Californian wine has a very low demand in this country, it is extremely hard to find. We have Chilean and Argentinian wine, if you like.”

Customer: “All right. I guess i’ll have to adjust to your low standards. Give me a bottle of the Chilean.”

Me: “All right, miss. Would you have Cabernet, Malbec, or Carmenerè?”

Customer: “I don’t want any of that! I just want red wine! Is it so hard to understand that?

Me: “All right, ma’am, I’ll bring you the Cabernet then.”

Customer: “I said I don’t want that? I only want red wine! Please get me the manager!”

Your Complaints Are On Thin Ice

| Seattle, WA, USA | Top

(Our location has two entrances, one of which is closed because of unsafe conditions on the adjacent sidewalk due to a recent snowstorm. A woman approaches me as I’m shelving books.)

Patron: “Hi. You look like who I need to complain to.”

Me: “Okay. What seems to be the problem?”

Patron: “These conditions are unacceptable. I had to walk another block just to get in here. All because you and your employees are too lazy to pick up a shovel and clear that sidewalk.”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have the say as to whether that sidewalk is open or not. The city made that decision yesterday for safety reasons.”

Patron: “I should have known when I saw you that you weren’t going to help me. You have that kind of face.”

Me: *speechless*

(At this point, another patrons steps in at my defense.)

Another Patron: “Excuse me, miss, I hope that you’re not referring to the sidewalk on [street]. My name is [name]. I’m a civil engineer for the city and I can assure that, given the water main rupture and the three feet of frozen ice/slush, it’s going to take an extensive amount of labor to clear and fix that sidewalk. Furthermore, I find it incredibly insensitive that you would complain about this inconvenience to you when, just the other day, a poor boy slipped and fell and broke both legs on that very sidewalk.”

Patron: *dumbfounded* “Well, I didn’t…” *walks away*