Category: Top

Option Overload

| Ontario, Canada | Top

(We’ve been experiencing an increase in calls about things customers can do on their own on our website. This results in longer wait times for customers with issues that can only be resolved by speaking with someone at the call center. Because of this, we’ve been told to promote self-serve options on our website at the beginning of each call.)

Me: “Okay, and while we’re waiting for your account to load up, I’d just like to take this time to let you know about the self serve options on our website. You can review your invoice, make a payment, and even cancel or activate features or change your phone number.”

Customer: “Listen, lady, I don’t want a lecture on what I can do myself. I want you to do as I tell you to. That’s what customer service is. If I wanted to do it myself, I would.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to imply that you had to do those things online. Lots of customers just aren’t aware of the options available online, so they end up waiting on hold for a representative when they don’t need to.”

Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Me: “I didn’t mean to. I was just explaining why I had mentioned our website.”

Customer: “Stop talking about our website!”

Me: “I-I’m sorry, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, apparently you can’t! You want me to do all the work myself!”

Me: “No, that’s not what I want at all. I was just letting you know—”

Customer: “I want you to apologize.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I want you to say you’re sorry for telling me about the website.”

Me: “Believe me, sir, I am sorry I ever mentioned it.”

Take It Or Leave It

| Canada | Top

(When I do nails, I am required to ask the customer if they like the nail design after doing the first nail before moving onto the rest. This particular customer says she is satisfied. However, when I’m about to finish the last one, she complains.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is just so ugly. I can’t believe you’re making me pay for this. I refuse to pay for something so ugly.”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked you if you were okay with the design after I attached the first. Why didn’t you say that you didn’t like it then?”

Customer: “Well, I thought I would like it once they were all on, but this is just too hideous!”

Store owner: *walks over and starts removing the fake nails*

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Store owner: “You said you didn’t like it and that you refuse to pay for it. We can’t let you walk out of the store with something you didn’t pay for.”

Customer: “I was just joking! I was going to pay for it! I’ll pay for it!”

Store owner: “No. You said you didn’t like it and that you thought it was hideous. We can’t let you leave the store with something we can’t be proud of.”

(The store owner was completely serious: she removed every single one of the fake nails I attached before the customer could leave.)

Sweets From A Sweetie

| Raleigh, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(It is my 18th birthday. My manager has tied a “Happy Birthday” balloon to my register. One customer is asking about it.)

Customer: “What the h*** is this?”

Me: “Well, sir, it’s my birthday.”

Customer: “Your birthday?! As in, the day you were born?!”

Me: “Yes, sir!”

Customer: *grabs a fist full of candy bars to add to his purchases* “These are for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”