Category: Top

Does This Mean I Need A Water Stone

| Connecticut, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

(I am helping a man at the fish department when this happens.)

Customer: “So, goldfish evolve into koi when they outgrow their tank…”

(I look at him waiting for him to say he’s joking, but he’s completely serious.)

Me: “It’s a fish, sir, not a pokémon.”

No Deposits, Just Withdrawals

| Seattle, WA, USA | Health & Body, Top

(A customer approaches the teller window with a withdrawal ticket.)

Me: “Hi there! Withdrawal today?”

(The customer seems taken aback.)

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “You’re taking out cash, right?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I thought you knew about my drug problem!”

Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica

| Marion, IA, USA | Bigotry, Top

(I’m sweeping when an older gentleman comes up. Note that I’m female.)

Customer: “It’s good to see you doing that.”

Me: “Oh…um…thank you.”

Customer: “So many of you young ladies these days are d*** fem’nists.”

Me: “Actually, sir, I am a feminist. It’s just a little dirty, so I need to clean up.”

Customer: “You d*** fem’nists! Taking jobs from real ‘Mericans who need jobs.”

Me: “Sir, I was born in this country. I’m a third-generation American. Being a feminist makes me no less American than you. I just support women’s rights.”

Customer: “That ain’t ‘Merican! Women ain’t ‘Merican!”

Me: *speechless*