Category: Top

Ready, Aim, Equality

| Texas, USA | Bigotry, Top

(Note: I work in the firearms department and am female.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for call—”

Male Caller: “I told them to get me firearms, d*** it!”

Me: “This is the firearms department. How may I—”

Male Caller: “FIREARMS. FI-URRR-A-HARMS! Ain’t no women in guns. Mens the
only ones who can know anything ’bout my situation!”

(Unfortunately, I have become used to this and hand the phone to a nearby male coworker.)

Coworker: “Yes, sir…uh huh…well, sir for that situation you would have to talk to our ATF compliance associate. Okay…I won’t put you on hold…they are standing right here.”

(My coworker hands the phone back to me.)

Me: “Hi, ATF Compliance!”

Male Caller: *click*

Satisfaction Level: Impossible

| Dallas, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

(I am the manager on duty on a Sunday afternoon when I receive a phone call from an upset lady.)

Caller: “I need to complain about my car I had there on Friday night before you closed. They didn’t fix my car!”

Me: “Did they say why not?”

Caller: “They made up something about not having a part, but I know it was because they were lazy and didn’t want to fix it!”

Me: “Well, that’s a bit unusual. My guys get paid on commission and want to do every job possible so they can make more money.”

Caller: “No! They were just being lazy! I had to take my car to the dealership on Monday and they were able to fix it right away!”

Me: “Ma’am, the dealership carries all of those parts. That’s where we get our parts from if we can’t get them from any other source. If it was late on a Friday night, the dealership was probably already closed.”

Caller: “Bull****! I am VERY upset about your poor service! I thought you were the manager! I want to know what you are going to do for me about this!”

Me: “I’m sorry we weren’t able to help you to your satisfaction, ma’am. I can’t give you a refund because we didn’t charge you anything. I’d offer to fix the car at a discount, but you say it’s already been fixed. What is it you would like for me to do for you, ma’am?”

Caller: “Well, you know what you’re supposed to do in these cases!”

Me: “Well, normally I’d offer a discount or a refund, but neither of those would help you. Is there anything else I can offer you? I am sorry for your inconvenience.”

Caller: “I don’t want your stupid apology! I can’t believe you are refusing to help me!”

Me: “I’m not refusing, Ma’am. I just don’t know what it is you want.”

Caller: “You know what I want!! I want you to do what you’re supposed to!”

Me: “And what is that?”

Caller: “You know what you’re supposed to do! I’m going to call your corporate office and have you fired!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t tell me what it is you want, I don’t know what to do for you.”

Caller: “Don’t give me that! I’m going to have you fired!” *hangs up*

Watch What You Say

| New York, NY, USA | Top

(I am the manager on duty for a well-known high-end jewelry store during the weekend.)

Employee: “You have to come out and see this customer now.”

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Employee: “She is becoming belligerent because I told her we have to send her watch to be fixed. She’s causing a scene and other customers are complaining. She is insistent that she needs it now.”

(I go out to talk to the customer.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [name]. What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “I have been waiting a f***ing hour! Your stupid representative told me that my watch isn’t working any more; it was working when I walked in!”

Me: “Let me have a look at it, please.”

(I proceed to touch her beat down and heavily abused watch and begin winding the crown.)

Customer: “Do you even know how to work a watch?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have been with (company) for several years. I assure you I can work a crown and pin mechanism on a quartz watch.”

Customer: “I wasn’t trying to be condescending!”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(We proceed to go back and forth for a few minutes. I decide to refund her money and send her on her way. By now, her mood has changed from angry to happy.)

Customer: “Oh, you’re just so wonderful! You are the absolute best! I am going to write a recommendation letter to your director and put my ‘ESQ’ after my name.” *smugly* “I’m a lawyer, you know.”

Me: “Oh, I’ve got my own lawyer, thanks. My husband works for [huge NYC law firm].”

Customer: *stunned* “Uh…I also work for [same firm]. Who is your husband?”

Me: “He’s in Litigation. His name is [husband’s name].”

(Suddenly, the customer’s jaw drops and all color leaves her face.)

Customer: “He’s your husband? Um…he supervises all my work.”

Me: “Does he now? Well, well, what a small world!”

Customer: “I…uh…am a temp attorney and am trying to get a permanent job at the firm. He is…wow…he’s really smart and brilliant and…um…you are so beautiful and intelligent…you make such an elegant couple!”

Me: “Thank you. Anyway, here’s my business card should you need to follow up regarding your watch.”

Customer: “Oh, I know I have a business card somewhere, too.”

Me: “Oh, don’t you worry; I will most definitely remember your name. I’ll make sure to let my husband know you send your regards.”

Customer: *turns bright red and slinks away*