Category: Top

Not A Shred Of Intelligence

, | Orange County, NY, USA | School, Top, Wild & Unruly

(It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

(My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

Me: “What happened?!”

Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

Don’t Mess With The Lez

| Boston, MA, USA | Bigotry, Top

(I have a small nose stud. As I’m taking an old man’s tickets, he reaches out and pokes my nose ring.)

Customer: *in a rude, judgmental tone* “So, what’s this for?”

Me: “It’s a signal to the other lesbians.”

Customer: *makes a horrified face and scurries away*

When Intelligences Cancel Out

| New Zealand | At The Checkout, Money, Top

(I am a checkout operator in a supermarket, and I have just finished ringing up a customer’s order. )

Me: “So, that comes to a total of $36.76.  Is there anything else?”

Customer: “I also want a $50 gift card.”

(I add on the gift card and hand it to her.)

Me: “Okay, now the total is $86.76. Will that be all today?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “How would you like to pay for your order?”

Customer: “I’d like to use this gift card.” *hands me the same $50 gift card that I just activated for her*

Me: “Uh, you still need to pay for this gift card.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’d like to pay for it with the gift card.”

Me: “But the gift card is worth $50.  Your order is $86.76.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Uh-huh, so just pay $50 of it with the gift card, and I’ll give you cash for the rest!”

Me: “So that will take your total back to the original $36.76.”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “Duh!”