Category: Top

Try Adobe HeathenShop

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Religion, Technology, Top

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me how this converter works?”

Me: “Let me see. It looks like you put your old photo negatives into it and it converts them to digital images.”

Customer: “So, it doesn’t make them Christians?”

Me: “Uh…what? Who?”

Customer: “It says it’s a “converter”. So, does it make the people in the pictures turn from devil worshippers into Christians?”

Me: *stunned* “No…No, it doesn’t do anything like that. It takes old negative strips from film cameras and converts them into digital images.”

Customer: “So, it won’t make them Christian?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “What a useless piece of crap that is, then!”

Redress Address For Mistress Distress

| Wisconsin, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

Customer: “I’m canceling my credit card. You stupid idiots sent a statement to the wrong house!”

Me: “I do apologize if we sent your statement to the wrong address, but if you’d like, we can correct the address on file so that you can get your statements. What address would you like to receive them at?”

Customer: “No, you don’t get it. I am CANCELING! This was supposed to be a joint account with my boyfriend, but you f***ing idiots sent the statement to my boyfriend’s house because that was the address he signed up with. It’s your fault that his WIFE found it!”

Employee Of The Century

| Little Rock, AR, USA | Top

(I’m a customer at the checkout stand of a grocery store. I overhear the following conversation between a manager and an employee.)

Manager: “We’re giving you a raise, from $7.25 to $8.25.”

Employee: “Since when is what I do suddenly worth a dollar an hour more?!”

Manager: “Since you’ve been here 3 years, you’ve never taken a sick day, never taken vacation, and never been late. Heck, you haven’t even taken a holiday off!”

Employee: “Your point? That’s expected of me. Required of me. I don’t know why that’s worth that much more.”

Manager: “So…you don’t want the money. I don’t understand.”

Employee: “No. I don’t think it’s right. I’ve been doing the same thing, 40 hours a week, every week.”

Manager: “What about a promotion? Assistant Manager?”

Employee: “Why? I’m perfectly happy here where I am at.”

(The manager stands there, completely shocked and in total disbelief.)

Employee: “Seriously…” *randomly points at another employee* “…I’d give it to him. ”

Manager: “Alright.”

(The manager calls the other employee in, gives him the promotion and the raise. The other employee hasn’t been there 8 months, but of course promptly accepts and is dismissed by the manager.)

Employee: “May I get back to sweeping now?”

Manager: “Yeah. Sure, whatever…”