Category: Top

You’ve Got The Wrongest Number, Part 6

| Pennsylvania, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

Me: “We’re making magic here at Ch—”

Caller: “Sexy voice for a sexy lady, eh?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “Yeah, I wanted to ask about some of your ‘prizes’.”

Me: “Sure? What are you looking for?”

(He begins to read me a long list of sexual objects and attempts to talk dirty.)

Me: “Sir, this is highly inappropriate.”

Caller: “If you’re offended, why do you work at [name of adult store]?”

Me: “Because I don’t. I think you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Who am I talking to then?”

Me: “[Name] at Chuck E. Cheese.”

Caller: “Oh…oh my God! I AM SO SORRY!”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Size Matters, Part 9

| Michigan, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(I work as a barista at my local coffee shop.)

Customer: “I’d like a coffee to go.”

Me: “Awesome, did you want the small size or the big one?”

Customer: “Small. I might be a big guy, but I have a small thing—” *catches himself* “I mean, I like small things—” *catches himself again*

Me: “It’s okay—”

Customer: “I mean…uh…small. I will take a small cup, fill it with coffee, and then leave so you and your coworker can laugh at me.”

Me: *smiles and contains laughter* “That’ll be $1.75.”

Related:
Size Matters, Part 8
Size Matters, Part 7
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

You Attitude Is Just Peachy

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Food & Drink, Top

Customer: “Excuse me. How much are your peaches?”

Me: “We don’t have peaches at the moment, ma’am, sorry.”

Customer: “Yes, you do.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t. Do you mean the nectarines? They’re 5.99 a kilo.”

Customer: *snaps* “I know what nectarines look like, missy.”

Me: “All right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate that, but peaches aren’t in season right now. There are none around. Sorry.”

Customer: “Does your boss know you talk to people like this?”

Me: “Ma’am, I haven’t done anything wrong. Maybe if you show me what you’re talking about, then I can help you.”

Customer: “The peaches! I want to know how much the peaches are! It’s a simple question!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are no peaches in this store. Just…please show me what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “FINE.”

(The customer takes me to the store front and points at a display.)

Customer: “THESE!”

Me: “Those are mangoes.”