Category: Top

Love And War

| USA | Awesome Customers, Military, Top, Tourists/Travel

(My husband and I wed three weeks before he leaves for Afghanistan, so we decide to postpone our honeymoon until after he comes home. A year later, we finally find time for our honeymoon and decide to go to Vegas. As we’re boarding the plane, we’ve decided to wear what we had worn for the wedding so we can arrive in style: he’s in his formal Army dress uniform, while I’m in my cocktail-length wedding dress.)

Flight Attendant: “We would now like to invite our first class passengers and any members of the military in uniform and their guests to board.”

(As we get up to board, a male passenger scoffs loudly.)

Passenger: “That’s bulls***! Why should that f** get to board first?!”

(There are gasps from the other passengers.)

Passenger: “F***ing murderer! You should be ashamed of yourself.”

(At this point, my husband and I are beet red with anger and embarrassment, but we choose to ignore this man and board the plane. After the rest of the plane has boarded, a member of the flight crew approaches us in coach.)

Flight Attendant: “Sir, ma’am: two of our passengers would like to offer you their seats in first class.”

Me: *shocked* “You’re kidding!”

Flight Attendant: “Not at all, ma’am. They’ve cleared it with us, and would like to switch seats with you before we take off, in recognition of your service.”

(As we stand up, the other passengers take interest. An older gentleman and his wife began to make their way back from first class, obviously the couple who had offered their seats to us.)

Gentleman Passenger: “Are you folks on your honeymoon?”

Husband: “Yes, sir.”

Gentleman Passenger: “Wonderful.” *in full voice, so the whole plane can hear* “My wife and I would take it as a personal favor to us if you would sit in our seats up in first class. I served in the military, as did my father, as well as two of our sons, one of whom is no longer with us. And I wanted to let you both know how proud we are to be flying with you today and for everything you’ve done for us and our country. I’m dreadfully sorry for the way you were treated when you were boarding, and we hope you enjoy the seats and have a lovely honeymoon and a wonderful life together.”

(By now, I am in tears, and the man shakes my husband’s hand while his wife gave me a big hug. We went up to first class and the gentleman and his wife took our seats in couch to applause from the whole plane and flight crew. Furthermore, the crew treated us like royalty for the whole flight. We were told upon disembarking that the people who were seated next to the passenger who had slurred us in the first place had asked to be moved away from him, and that he was given enough dirty looks and reproachful comments that he pouted for the entire flight.)

Got The Fraud On The Phoney

| CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

(I work at a call center for an online store. My job includes fraud prevention. If a caller dials in to place an order that seems out of place, I let my manager know. This is one of those times.)

Me: “So, I’ve got a customer on the line here that uh… placed an order for a really expensive product. Expedited shipping. They want a tracking number for it. I’m not liking this.”

Manager: “Do the billing and shipping match?”

Me: “Nope. Completely different states, too.”

Manager: “Hmm… did they order anything before?”

Me: “Oh, yeah! They placed [order].”

(After a few minutes of silent research…)

Manager: *smiling* “Transfer them to me.”

Me: “Okay?”

(He puts it on speaker.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. This is [Manager], manager in charge. How can I help you?”

Fraudster: “Yeah, I’m pretty mad at you guys right now. Been waitin’ for twenty godd*** minutes for a single trackin’ number! The last associate that talked to me is an incompetent b****!”

Manager: “Oh, well, I’m sorry to hear about that, sir. You mentioned that you were looking for a tracking number, is that right?”

Fraudster: “Yeah! And while you’re at it just fire the last b**** I spoke to! She’s f***ing useless as h***!”

Manager: “It’s going to be a few moments while I pull up the number. But how’re you doing?”

Fraudster: “Well… now I’m doing good. You know what you’re doing, unlike that—”

Manager: “That’s good to hear. Glad you’re not feeling guilty or anything.”

Fraudster: “For… what?”

Manager: “For the fraud orders you’ve been placing on our website.”

Fraudster: “Uh…”

Manager: “I’ll be honest with you: I know what you’re doing. I’ve known for a couple of weeks now. So, tell me, how many cards have you stolen?”

Fraudster: *scared* “Ju-just two—”

Manager: “Hmm, okay. Well, I work pretty close with [other state’s police department]. So, I’m gonna give you two choices. You can either turn yourself in like the good guy I’m sure you are. Or you can just sit there while I have them down there in a few hours, embarrassing you and your family.”

Fraudster: “O-oh, God. L-look, I—”

Manager: “I’ve got them on speed dial.”

Fraudster: “I’ll turn myself in!”

Manager: *extremely cheerful* “Oh, good. Now, what time should they expect you so I can let them know?”

Fraudster: “T-ten o’clock in the mornin’.”

Manager: “They’ll be waiting. Have yourself a good day, sir.”

(And yes, he did turn himself in!)

Couples Therapy

| MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Top

(There was recently a vote in Minnesota whether or not to change the constitution to make same-sex marriage illegal. Voting ‘Yes’ would be for making it illegal, and vice versa for ‘No’. It should also be noted that there is already a law in place prohibiting same-sex marriage. I’m wiping tables at coffee shop. It’s been pretty slow, and I see two young women obviously in a relationship. They order their drinks, and then sit down. A young man of around 20 is sitting a little ways from them, wearing a heavy jacket. I’ve noticed several looks pass back and forth between them, until finally, one of the young women walks over to him.)

Young Woman #1: *to the young man* “Would you please mind your own business?”

Young Man: “I’m sorry?”

Young Woman #1: “You’ve been glaring at us for the better part of five minutes. Is there something you’d like to say?”

Young Man: “Oh… look, I’m sorry. It’s just that I saw you two there, and—”

Young Woman #1: “And what? You thought I wouldn’t notice you being passive aggressive over here?”

Young Man: “Please, I’m sorry.”

(The young woman bends down and jostles the table, causing the young man to flinch back, shifting his jacket slightly. She smiles sweetly.)

Young Woman #1: “See, that wasn’t so…”

(She trails off because of what she sees: beneath the young man’s now-open jacket is a bright blue ‘VOTE NO’ t-shirt. She stands slack-jawed for a moment.)

Young Woman #1: “I… uh…”

Young Man: *looks down* “Oh, um, I guess that would’ve helped.”

(The young woman stutters a few more times, then rushes back to her seat. Eventually, she comes back to apologize to the poor guy.)

Young Woman #1: “I’m sorry about that. My girlfriend just came out to her family, and they aren’t taking it well.”

Young Man: “It’s okay. I’ve just been through a nasty breakup myself, and seeing the two of you so happy together was pretty tough for me.”

(After hearing this, I talk to my manager, and he lets me purchase two $25 gift cards with my employee discount, which I give to both parties. All three seemed to leave as friends.)