Category: Top

Causing Infractions

| Iowa, USA | Math & Science, Top

(I work in a grocery store meat department. I’m helping a customer who is wanting items packaged specifically, like six steaks in two packages of three. She has been talking to me with a very condescending tone like I’m stupid. I am a science major in college.)

Customer: “Can I get two packages of four rib eyes?”

(I wrap the steaks in two packages and give them to her.)

Customer: “You can add, subtract, and multiply, but can you divide?”

Me: “I can divide, differentiate, integrate, and do logarithms, just to name some of what I can do.”

(Her face goes pale and her tone completely changes the rest of the time I have to deal with her. She leaves in a hurry.)

Counting To Eternity

| Birmingham, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

(I am working on the tills, and pretty bored when a transaction equals £12.34.)

Me: “That is…” *glances at screen* “…ha! One, two, three, four!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Sorry, twelve-thirty four… one, two three, four. It just made me smile.”

Customer: “Wow! Has this ever happened before? That’s amazing.”

(As I rarely work the tills, this is actually the first time this has happened to me.)

Me: “This is the first time. We’ll remember this for the rest of our lives.”

Customer: “This is an unbreakable bond!”

Me: “Stronger than marriage, some would say!”

Customer: “You can’t divorce out of this!”

Me: “It’s eternal!”

(By now another customer behind is staring at us like we are mad.)

Customer: “I’m going to have to tell all my friends about this! Can you sign my receipt?”

Me: *signs his receipt*

Customer: *walks away, grinning*

Getting Them Back Is True Therapy, Part 2

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

(We have a regular customer who was diagnosed with breast cancer and had lost all her hair from the Chemo. She is only 17 at the time. Everyone who goes to the shop more than once knows her. I’m a barista who is out the back getting ready for my shift in few minutes. Three very obnoxious customers came in and began to talk very loudly at the end of a mildly long line.)

Customer #1: “Ugh, why did we have to come to this hipster place? It’s so trashy!”

Customer #2: “I know! Everyone is so stuck up with their MacBooks and iPads! Like, get a life!”

Customer #3: “And everyone looks so ugly! Look at that girl in the corner! She has no hair!”

Customer #2: “That’s because she’s super hipster! She does it for no other reason than because no one else is!”

Customer #1: “Oh, my God! Ew!”

(At this point pretty much everyone inside has heard what they’ve said and is looking in the general direction of the trio. Customer #3 seems to notice this and quietens up. Two police officers (both regulars) walk in and join the line behind the three customers. The three customers talk like this for another minute before one deliberately talks loudly enough for the whole place to hear.)

Customer #1: “Hipsters are stupid! Your head looks retarded; I mean come on, who would want to be bald and ugly like you?!”

(At this point, the girl in the corner starts to cry a little bit. Everyone around her begins to comfort her, but the barista loses his cool.)

Barista: “No. You do not talk to her that way! Get out of my store! The three of you! You’re not welcome here! Ever!”

Customer #1: “I’ve been waiting in line for 10 minutes (more like three) and I’m not leaving without my coffee!”

Customer #2: “Yeah, we deserve our coffee!”

(Customer #3 hasn’t said a word since she walked in, and begins to walk out and wait outside for the other two.)

Customer #2: *to Customer #3* “Where are you going?! Don’t wuss out! We need to get our coffee before next class!”

Barista: “Take your friends advice and, for the last time, leave.”

Customers #1 & 2: “No!”

Police Officer #1: “You two have been asked to leave by the gentlemen behind the counter. I suggest you do so.”

Customer #2: “That hipster can’t make us leave!”

Customer #1: “We have rights!”

Police Officer #1: “So does everyone else here and you are violating them. You’ve visibly upset this poor girl who’s going through the toughest time in her life right now.”

Customer #1: “As if! We go to Uni! We get way more stressed!”

Police Officer #2: “We’re not here to argue with you. Either leave or you’ll both be arrested for trespassing since you’ve already been asked to leave twice.”

Customer #1: “You cant f***ing do that! We haven’t done anything wrong and we’re not f***ing leaving until we get our f***ing coffee, you a**hole!”

Police Officer #2: “That’s it, turn around, hands behind your back.”

Police Officer #1: “Now.”

(As the officers try to motion them to turn around, they resist and begin to try and push the officers away. After a bit more fighting, the unruly customers end on the ground, squealing with their hands cuffed. As the officers are radioing in for a car, everyone is comforting the girl in the corner, whose name is Hannah. However, they quickly begin laughing their heads off as Hannah herself is jumping up and down (in the literal sense) in her seat with the biggest smile on her face. Her father later comes in as news spreads and buys everyone a drink. A couple of years later, Hannah has beaten her cancer but remains bald for her own personal reasons. She’s still stops by every few weeks to chat and everyone loves her. Even the two police officers stop by at least once a week. We all refer to that as the day as ‘The Most Awesome Day Ever’.)

Related:
Getting Them Back Is True Therapy