Category: Top

PEBCAK, Episode VI

| MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology, Top

(I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

(I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

(I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

(The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

Related:
PEBCAK, Episode V

A Taxing Conversation

| Norwich, England, UK | Money, Top

(My colleague is the customer in this transaction. He has received a letter from HM Revenue (British tax authority).)

Colleague: “Hello, I am ringing about the letter I received stating the amount due to you is £1,400!”

Tax assistant: “Well, I can help you with that. What seems to be the issue?”

Colleague: *angry at this point* “The issue is that I have just received a letter telling me that I have to pay you £1400!”

Tax assistant: *still being very polite* “Well, sir. Please calm down, let me say something.”

Colleague: “Say something? What can you say that’s going to resolve this problem?”

Tax assistant: “How about, the check is in the post and you don’t owe us a penny?”

Colleague: “Oh.”

Tax assistant: “I thought that might help a little. If you had read the letter clearly you would have seen that it says ‘Amount due to you is £1,400.’”

Colleague: “Oh… erm… I’m really sorry for being a jerk.”

(I have never laughed so hard in my life.)

A Tale Of Faulty Thieves

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

(A family, wife, husband and teenage daughter, bring items to my till, and I start to scan them.)

Father: “We’re not done yet!”

Me: “Oh…”

(They leave their items at my counter and continue to look around. Any time they see something they want, they bring it to my counter and then leave again. It is not busy, so I just scan and bag the items as they drop them off. They finally come with the last item, totaling their bill to over $200.)

Father: “Is everything done?”

Me: “Well, it’s not paid for.”

Father: “I know that! Is it all scanned!?”

Me: “Yes.”

Father: *to his wife and daughter* “Okay, you guys can take this stuff out to the car then.”

Me: “Oh, actually, you have to pay first before you leave the store with the items.”

Father: “EXCUSE ME!?”

Me: “You can’t leave the store with unpaid merchandise.”

Father: “You calling me a thief!?”

Me: “No, I’m just telling you that you have to pay first.”

Father: “I don’t have to pay before I take your items! I’m a customer!” *to his daughter* “Take the stuff to the car!”

Me: “Please don’t.”

(The daughter is now confused and throws her arms up in the air in frustration.)

Father: “Don’t you tell my daughter what to do!”

Me: “Um, she can’t leave the store without unpaid merchandise.”

Father: “You think my card is going to decline!?”

Me: “I don’t know, but you still have to pay first.”

(The father rams his card into the machine and stomps his fingers on the keypad. It declines.)

Me: “It didn’t go through.”

Father: “This is ridiculous!” *he rams his card up the machine again*

Me: “You have to wait until the machine is ready.”

(He rips his card out of the machine and then rams it up the machine again, and hits the buttons extremely hard. It approves and he starts to storm off without his receipt. Then he comes storming back and rips the receipt out of my hand and points to me.)

Father: “YOU WERE CALLING ME A THIEF!”

Me: “No, I wasn’t. No one lets customers leave a store with unpaid merchandise!”

Father: “I am a paying customer! You should be fired for accusing me of stealing! This is the worst customer service I have ever had!” *storms off again*