Category: Top

Please Keep All Cybernetics Inside The Ride At All Times

| Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work as an attendant for a theme park roller coaster. We have had an incident where a guest’s $10,000, custom-made prosthetic leg fell off while he was riding the coaster and landed in the moat below. Thanks to that, the park changed their policy to not allow anyone to bring a prosthetic limb onto any ride; now they must be stored in lockers with other personal belongings.)

Me: “How many in your party, sir?”

Guest: “Two.”

Me: “Row three, please. Right this way.”

Guest: “Hold on.”

(He bends over, unsnaps something, pulls his leg out of his jeans, straightens up and hands it to me.)

Me: “Uh…”

Guest: “Could you hold onto this while I ride?”

Me: *unable to take my eyes off the prosthetic being offered* “I, uh… I’m sorry, sir. You’ll have to store that in the lockers out front.”

Guest: “You mean I have to go through the whole line again?”

Me: *visibly shivering* “You, um, I mean, I can give you a pass to let you back into the leg -I mean- front of the line.”

Guest: “Well, that sure is a pain.”

(He starts hobbling around to put his leg back on, when new guests start coming down the queue. At the front of the line is a little boy, maybe 6 or 7 years old, and his mother.)

Little Boy: *wide-eyed and pointing at the one-legged man* “Look, mommy! That man’s a robot!”

Mother: “You’re making that man feel bad. You apologize to him!”

Little Boy: *suddenly terrified* “Is he gonna shoot me with his lasers?”

Guest: *in a silly computer-like voice* “DON’T WORRY, YOUNG HUMAN PERSON. I ONLY SHOOT BAD GUYS WITH MY LASERS. BEEP BOOP.”

Little Boy: “Whoooooaaaaaa!”

Omfoolery Imes Wo

| WV, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a BL.”

Me: “You mean a BLT?”

Customer: “No, a BL. I don’t like T.”

Me: *laughs* “Okay, anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, a glass of iced tea.”

Me: *joking* “I thought you didn’t like T.”

Customer: “Oh, right. Well, then… get me a glass of iced ea.”

Not Quite Marrying A Prints

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Top

(In our copy center, we regularly help brides with their DIY invitation kits. A man comes up to the counter, roughly half an hour before the store closes for the night.)

Customer: “I need these place cards printed, and I want to wait while you do it.”

(My coworker and I review the order, and we realize that the entire job would take several hours to complete exactly to their specifications.)

Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, this order would take hours to complete. I can get started on it tonight, but we close in 30 minutes, and we’d have to continue working on it tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “What!? But it’s for my wedding!”

Coworker: “Well, when’s your wedding? I’m pretty sure we could work something out.”

Customer: “You don’t understand! It’s tomorrow morning! I need these done now!”

(My coworker and I, both women, stare at the man for several seconds in shock and then continue.)

Coworker: “Okay, well in that case we have two options. We can do [option 1], which but won’t look as nice but will be done faster, or [option 2], which will look more formal, but will take a little longer. Worst case scenario, I’m pretty sure we can have this done in time.”

(The customer is now irate as well as in a panic. The time my coworker had told him the order would be completed was only a couple of hours before his wedding. He starts to launch into a tirade about incompetent employees when my coworker interrupts.)

Coworker: “Sir, if I was your soon-to-be-wife, and I found out that you had waited until just now to have this order printed out, I would be furious. We just gave you two options to get this stuff done so she never has to know you procrastinated so badly. You can choose one of them, or you can try finding someone else to print these for you; and good luck doing that at this time of night.”

Me: “How long have you had to print these, anyway? Weeks? Months?”

(The customer snapped his mouth shut, chose one of the options we’d outlined, and stormed out of the store. When he came back the next morning, he was visibly stressed but showered us with thanks for saving his hide on the order.)