Category: Time

icon_transportation

Being Foggy With The Specifics

| USA | Time, Transportation

(I receive a phone call from an airline dispatcher regarding a weather forecast. Why he’s calling the air traffic control tower and not the weather service is beyond me but I think I may have solved that issue for good.)

Airline Dispatcher: “What time is the fog going to lift?”

Me: *busy and tired of dealing with the inane* “9:47.”

Airline Dispatcher: *after a short pause* “Wow, that’s pretty specific. Are you sure?”

Me: “I’d bet your life on it.”

Time To Call It A Night…

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

(We are a 24-hour fast-food place and have a special menu from midnight to four am that is displayed both inside and beside the speaker box outside.)

Customer: “What time does your midnight to four am menu start?”

Me: “It starts at midnight and ends at four am.”

Customer: “Can I get [food item not on menu]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re currently not selling that item. We’re on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “What?! When did that start?!”

Me: “The MIDNIGHT to FOUR AM menu starts at MIDNIGHT and lasts until FOUR AM.”

Customer: “So I can’t get [food item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no. We only sell the items on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “When does the midnight menu stop? I want [food item]!”

Me: *bangs head on cash register*

(Unfortunately, I have this conversation at LEAST three times a night.)

icon_pizza

Timing Is All In The Delivery

| Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular, Time

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order for delivery.”

Me: “No problem. Just to let you know, our delivery time right now is approximately one-and-a-half hours tonight. Will that be all right?”

Customer: “Jesus! Why so long?”

Me: “Well, I’m the only one running the store at this time, and I’ve only got one driver. We’re rather busy so it’s creating higher delivery times. I do apologize for the wait, sir.”

Customer: “Well, yeah, I guess I’ll do that.”

(The customer orders and approximately 45 minutes later, calls back.)

Customer: “WHERE THE F*** IS MY FOOD?! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR AND I WAS TOLD IT WOULD BE ONLY 30 MINUTES!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry for the wait; however, it’s been only 45 minutes and your quoted delivery time was an hour and a half. We will be there within the quoted time.”

Customer: “I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I WAS QUOTED. ARE YOU TELLING ME I’M LYING?!”

Me: “Sir, I’m the only one here, which means that I took your order. And I told you the estimated delivery time. I apologize for the miscommunication; however, we will be there within the quoted time.”

Customer: “What in God’s name is taking so long?”

Me: “…I AM THE ONLY ONE HERE.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager. This is piss-poor service.”

Me: “I am the manager. I am the only person here.”

Customer: “Well, how much longer?”

Me: “The delivery time will rise as you continue to stay on the phone with me. As I cannot prepare pizzas while I am stuck on the phone.”

Customer: *hangs up*