Category: Time

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Getting Into The Time Zone

| USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Time

(I do stocking and shipping for a web-based tech supply company: computers, servers, parts and accessories, office security, things like that. I get a call.)

Me: “Shipping, [My Name].”

Sales Rep: “Hey, [My Name], I’ve got a customer on the line. He wants to know why his order didn’t ship yesterday.”

Me: “Sure, do you have the order number?”

(As I pull up the order information, the rep puts the customer on three-way call.)

Me: “Ah, I see the problem here, sir. Your order was placed too late in the day to process, and—”

Customer: “Impossible.”

Me: “Um… actually, sir, it’s very possible. You see—”

Customer: “Your site says you GUARANTEE same-day shipping!”

Me: “Actually, sir, it doesn’t. The word ‘guarantee’ doesn’t exist there. It states ‘Most in-stock orders placed before five pm Eastern time are shipped the same day.’”

Customer: “Exactly! So why wasn’t my order shipped!?”

Me: “Because you placed your order with us past ten at night.”

Customer: “Bull! It was no later than seven pm!”

Me: “I see from the shipping address you’re in California, correct?”

Customer: “What does that have to do with it!?”

Me: “Time zones. California is three hours behind us, so when it’s seven your time, it’s ten our time.”

Customer: “No, you IDIOT, it’s the other way around! When it’s seven MY time, it’s FOUR your time!”

Me: “Sir, I’m looking at my clock right this second and it says 2:45 pm. What time is it where you are?”

Customer: *pause* “You still should have gotten it out yesterday! Amazon ships until midnight!”

Me: “Sir, the main Amazon warehouses process more shipments in a day than we do in a year. More than we do in TWO years around the holidays. No carrier would make the deals with us that they do with Amazon.”

Customer: “Well, your site’s still misleading! You must deal with this all the time!”

Me: “Actually, sir, except for legitimate problems such as incorrect information or technical malfunctions, you’re the first one I’ve spoken to that was this upset. And I’ve been here for ten years.”

(I don’t know if it was because I was staying level-headed or he was realizing his own culpability, but pretty soon the guy hung up. The sales rep, who until now had apparently been speechless, finally piped back up.)

Sales Rep: “How did you keep your cool with that!? That guy sounded like he was going to scream at everyone in the company!”

Me: “I married into a very large, very loud, Italian family. If THAT guy could rile me up I’d never survive Christmas!”

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Yellow-Stoney Faces

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Time, Tourists/Travel

(I am a busboy at a local high-end restaurant in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s 15 minutes past closing time. I’m out cleaning tables, when suddenly I’m beckoned over by one of the last holdouts of the night. I notice they are all on their phones.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Can you get our server?”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. I’ll be just one second.”

(I run and grab their server, and go drop off the dishes I collected. On my way back out to the dining room, I run into the server, looking bemused.)

Me: “What did they want?”

Server: *deep sigh* “They wanted a map of Yellowstone Park.”

Me: *laughing* “Really?! They stayed 15 minutes past closing for that? What’d you tell them?”

Server: “I told them we don’t have any, and then they asked me where they could find one. I told them, ‘Probably at a gas station. In Wyoming.’ And they were like, ‘Oh! A gas station! Okay, we’ll go there. Thank you very much!’”

Me: *laughing harder* “Yeah, or they could’ve just found one on the phones they had out in front of their freaking faces.”

Server: “No kidding!”

Me: “Did they tip you well?”

Server: “Not really.”

Me: “F*** them. I hope they never find Yellowstone.”

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Closing Before It Gets Too Hairy

Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Time

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “DO YOU HAVE MOUSTACHES?”

Me: “If you mean fake moustaches for costumes, yes.”

Customer: “Great. What time do you close?”

Me: “In about 10 minutes.”

Customer: “Can you stay open? I really need those moustaches and I’m on [Road that is 30 minutes away].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I have to close at nine.”

(Even if I wanted to stay open longer, I wouldn’t be able to as corporate sets the hours of operation and if I stay late I could be fired.)

Customer: “Please? What if you buy them for me and leave them outside the door? I’ll tape the money to the door.”

Me: “I don’t believe in lending money to strangers.”

Customer: “C’mon, don’t be a b****. I need these moustaches.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m ending this conversation.”

(I hung up the phone and started closing the store. Around the time I left the customer showed up to scream at me through the locked door. I guess those moustaches were really important!)

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Not Very Closed Minded, Part 18

| TX, USA | Popular, Time

(Our store closes promptly at midnight every day. I had already turned off the open sign and was in the process of putting the food away when a customer walks in.)

Customer: “Oh no, no, no! Wait! What are you doing? Don’t put the food away! I need a sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “Closed? But you close at midnight!”

Me: “Yes, sir, we do, and it’s already five past midnight. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! My watch says it’s 11:59. You still have a minute and I’m hungry. How hard is it to make a sandwich?! Just do your job.”

(After having a busy day, and still a little behind on my cleaning, I was trying my best not to sound frustrated.)

Me: “Again, I apologize, but [Fast Food Place] across the street is open 24 hours if you—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Whatever! It’s too late now and you wasted my time! F*** you!”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 17
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 16
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 15

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Lunch’s Labours Lost

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

Lady: “I’m here to see [Coworker #1].”

Me: “[Coworker #1] is on her lunch, unfortunately. [Coworker #2] is here, though, and he’s pretty good with fish as well.”

Lady: “I’m here to see [Coworker #1]! She said she’d be here from 10-6 today!”

Me: “She is working that shift today. She’ll be back from lunch in about 20 or 25 minutes.”

Lady: “It’s always the same story with you people!”

(And then she stormed out. I haven’t figured out what part of taking a lunch is a story yet, but apparently we should all live at work.)

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