Category: Time


It’ll Be All Right, All Night

| Boston, MA, USA | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Time

(I am doing a last walk-through at the library, picking up books and reminding patrons that it’s time to leave. I see an older gentleman sitting in an armchair in the corner, reading a newspaper.)

Me: “Sir, the library is closing now.”

Patron: *not looking up from newspaper* “That’s all right.”

(He makes no move to leave.)

Me: “The library is closing NOW.”

Patron: *making a soothing hand-patting motion in the air, but still not looking up* “That’s all right.”

Me: *deciding to try again* “Yes, but the library IS closing now.”

Patron: “Oh, that’s all right.”

Me: *loudly and firmly* “Actually, it’s not all right, because we need to shut off the lights and lock the doors, so we can all go home.”

Patron: “Oh! The library is closing now?”


Cancelling The Cancellation

Chicago, IL, USA | Time

(This call takes place on a Saturday.)

Caller: “Do you have any availability this evening?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re fully booked. Could I check another date for you?”

Caller: “How about tomorrow?”

Me: “We’re closed Sundays and Mondays.”

Caller: “Oh, so there wouldn’t be any cancellations so I could come in tomorrow or Monday?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We’re closed Sundays and Mondays.”


Not Very Closed Minded, Part 20

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Time

(The store has been closed for nearly fifteen minutes and I am doing the final money counts for the night. I see a customer walk over by the door. He looks at our open sign, which is off. Then he looks at our door, which has our hours posted on it and checks his watch. After that, he reaches for the door and tries to open it, only to find that it’s locked. He then spies me at the register, watching him.)

Customer: *yells* “ARE YOU OPEN?!”

(I shake my head ‘no.’)

Customer: *still yelling* “ARE YOU SURE?!”

(I nod my head ‘yes.’ He then leaves and I turn to my coworker, who has come up front after hearing the shouting.)

Me: “Apparently the open sign being off, the time clearly being past close, and the fact that the door is locked weren’t quite enough to clue him in to the fact that we’re closed. He just had to be positive we were closed.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but are you SURE we’re closed?”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 19
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 18
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 17


You’re The Port, They Bring The Storm

| Finland | Time

(I work on a ferry with a duty free-shop. Every day we circulate between Sweden and Finland with six stops at each side, only closing the shop for a mere fifteen minutes while we’re loading off and on passengers and restocking the store. Many passengers are cruising and don’t realize we’ll open in just a little while again, making every port-stop a horror, since everybody’s in a rush to get their booze, candy, and cigarettes before we “close,” causing mile-long lines.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we’re closing now. You could leave your cart here and come back in just fifteen minutes.”

Elderly Gentleman: “Now, that is OUTRAGEOUS! Why in the world would you open a store if you just plan to close it?”


Credited For Trying

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Time

(I’ve been working since pre-opening hours and it’s close to closing time. I’m expected to ask customers if they would like to apply for the store credit card.)

Me: “Would you like to apply for the credit card and save 10% off your first purchase with it?”

Customer: *looks at her daughter, who nods* “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

(I proceed to sign her up for the card and finish my end of the process.)

Me: “Ma’am, the system says you weren’t automatically approved for the card tonight, but you’ll be getting a notification in the next few days about it, and once you’re approved, you’ll receive your 10% on your next purchase.”

Customer: “What? You lied to me! You said I’d get 10% off this purchase. I’m a manager at [unintelligible mumbling] and we would never falsely lead a customer into such traps. I want you to give me my 10%! I want a manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, ma’am. You get the 10% when you’re approved, but I can get my manager if you like.”

Customer: “Oh, forget it! I don’t want you to waste anymore of my time here. I only applied for the 10% otherwise I wouldn’t have wasted the time here. Don’t just stand there! Finish ringing everything up.”

(I finished the transaction in silence. She and her daughter stormed off with their $17 purchase. The 10% wouldn’t have saved them $2.)

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