Category: Time

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What The Flux Capacitor!

| Norfolk, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Time

(I work doing PC and electronic maintenance at a large company. I am called into an office to check out a malfunctioning label maker.)

Me: “So, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It isn’t working; I can’t get it to print.”

(I take a look at the document and print out the labels effortlessly.)

Me: “Seems to be working fine.”

Customer: “Well, it wasn’t working yesterday when I needed it.”

Me: “I see. You might have just needed a simple restart. It seems to be working now. Is there anything else you need.”

Customer: “Well, why wasn’t it working yesterday?”

Me: “I can’t be sure since it seems to be working now. Unless you were doing something different?”

Customer: “No, but I needed it to work yesterday.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t fix it yesterday.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I don’t have a time machine.”

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Not A Morning Person

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Time

(I am a receptionist in a doctor’s office. A patient has finished seeing the doctor, and as approached my desk to make another follow up appointment.)

Me: “Hi there, [First Name]. It looks like you need to come back in a month. Do you have a day of the week that you like better than another?”

Patient: “Nope! I’m retired now and free as a bird! Any day of the week is fine.”

Me: “Okay, I have the 12th of next month; that’s a Tuesday.”

Patient: “Oh, no, Tuesdays are no good. I have charity meetings on Tuesdays.”

Me: “Okay, how about the next day, the 13th? That’s a Wednesday.”

Patient: “Ooooo, you know what? I get my hair done on Wednesdays.”

Me: “How about the 14th, Thursday?”

Patient: “No, Thursdays aren’t good, either. I babysit my granddaughters on Thursdays. How about that Friday?”

Me: “Okay, Friday the 15th it is. Would you like a morning or an afternoon appointment?”

Patient: “As early as possible.”

Me: “You’re in luck; I have a slot available on the 15th at 8 am.”

Patient: “Oh, gosh, no! That’s much too early. How about around lunchtime?”

(She does this every time she’s in. You’d think I would have learned by now!)

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Suffers From Bad Timing

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Time, Transportation

(I work in a hotel that offers a complimentary shuttle to the local area from 7 am to 10 pm. At 6:30 in the evening a guest comes down to inquire about our service.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Guest: “What time does the seven o’clock shuttle leave?”

(After a brief moment of silence.)

Me: “The seven o’clock shuttle normally leaves at seven o’clock.”

Guest: “Okay, so that’s seven pm right?”

Me: “Yes. The seven o’clock shuttle leaves twice a day. One at seven am and the other at seven pm.”

Guest: “I thought your shuttle runs more than that.”

Me: “It does, but it would no longer be the seven o’clock shuttle. Instead it would be the eight or nine o’clock one depending on when it was leaving.”

Guest: “Oh, I see. I didn’t realize you had more than one shuttle.”

(I remained silent as the guest walked away.)