Category: Time

Not Very Closed Minded: Employee Edition

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Time

Customer: “When do you close?”

Me: “Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “No, I mean tonight.”

Me: “Thanksgiving. We’re a twenty-four hour store, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Beginning To Understand Why You Have A Criminal Record

| WI, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Time

(This conversation happens on the telephone at my office.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Name] Law Offices. Can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I have a case and need an attorney. I’ve been victimized by the courts. I agreed to a misdemeanor charge, but on my records, it’s recorded as a felony! This is outrageous!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, the attorney is out right now, but I can make you a consultation appointment. Can I have your name and phone number?”

Client: “Oh… I don’t know. I’m very busy. Maybe if I can call you and see if he is in?”

Me: “Ma’am, the attorney tends to be out quite a bit. It would be best if we could make an appointment.”

Client: “But I’m a victim of an injustice! We can’t let anyone get away with it! How do I know the attorney is worth it?”

Me: “Ma’am, the attorney that specializes in criminal defense is very good. We have people calling from all over our state, and from neighboring states as well. Please, can I have a name and a phone number? We can at least call you back!”

Client: “I don’t know… I’m going to be driving, so I won’t be able to answer my phone. I’ll just call later.”

Me: “Ma’am, can I at least have a name so the attorney can know to anticipate your call?”

Client: “Well… I don’t think so; I don’t want him trying to call me when I’m not available!”

Me: *tearing my hair out* “Ma’am, really, any information would be helpful.”

Client: “No… I’ll just call later… You have a good day.” *click*

Me: *to myself* “Well that was just the biggest waste of time EVER.”

(The kicker? I spent half an hour with this woman, which is worth a great deal of money in billable hours, and I ended up horribly behind on my work. And she NEVER called back!)

Groomed For A Cancellation

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Time

(I run a mobile dog grooming business so I go to people’s houses and groom their dogs in the back of my van. It is my last client for the week. I get to the house and knock on the door; no answer. She’s a fairly regular client so I decide to give her 5-10 minutes. I set myself up and potter around before calling her and having the following conversation:)

Client: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, [Client], it’s [My Name], the dog groomer. We have an appointment today at 2:30.”

Client: “Oh, hi, I didn’t get a reminder text; I was waiting for it to cancel our appointment.”

(My booking software automatically sends out a reminder text 24 hours in advance of the booking. Occasionally it does stuff up and not send a text.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It should have sent automatically. But you were waiting for the text to cancel the booking?”

Client: “Yes, I couldn’t remember when it was but I decided last week to let the dogs fur grow a bit longer before getting it cut.”

Me: “So you’d already decided to cancel the appointment?”

Client: “Yes, but I didn’t know when it was.”

Me: “So you were waiting until less than 24 hours before the appointment to cancel because you didn’t know when it was even though you had already decided last week to cancel it?”

Client: “Yes…”

Me: “In the future, please let me know as soon as possible if you want to cancel an appointment. It’s hard to fill a spot with less than 24-hours’ notice so I lose income from not working when I could be. If it happens again I will have to charge a cancellation fee.”

Client: “But I didn’t know when the appointment was!”

Me: “But you knew a week ago you wanted to cancel the appointment regardless of when it was?”

Client: “Yes!”

Me: “So you could’ve texted me a week ago and cancelled?”

Client: I suppose… but I didn’t know a week ago when the appointment was.”

Me: “But you knew you were going to cancel and were perfectly capable of calling or texting me and telling me that?”

Client: “Yes, but—”

Me: “Next time if you decide to cancel an appointment please let me know as soon as you decide. Anything less than 24-hours’ notice and I will charge you a cancellation fee.”

Client: “But what if I don’t know when the next appointment is?”

Me: “Write it in your calendar or stick it on the fridge.”

Client: “Oh, that’s a good idea, thanks!”

Me: “No problem. Have a nice day.”

(On the plus side I got to start my weekend three hours early!)

It’s Going To Be A Long Night

| IN, USA | Time

(I work at a 24 hour gym. We are the only gym in the area that is open 24 hours and we advertise that as our main seller — it is on our billboards, buildings, website, fliers, etc. One evening I got a phone call:)

Me: “[Gym], [Location]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was looking at your website. How late are you open?”

Me: “We are open 24/7”.

Customer: “So the website is not lying to me?”

Me: “No, sir, it is not.”

Customer: “So if I come in at 3:00 am that is fine?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Customer: “So you guys are open 24 hours.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Is your pool also open 24 hours?”

Me: “Yes, sir, and the basketball court, too.”

Customer: “So if I come in at 12:00 am and swam for an hour then played basketball for an hour that is completely okay?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Customer: “Huh, so you really are open 24 hours?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we are.”

Customer: “What if I bring my son?”

Me: “Still 24 hours, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, so just double checking. Open 24 hours right?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, we are, sir.”

Customer: “Cool, thanks, bye!”

Early Bird Gets To Worm Out Of It

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I work in an office that opens every day at 8 am. Everyday, we have appointments for various functions. Today, we have appointments for people to come in and complete paperwork, which requires that they bring certain documentation, like a photo ID or social security card. The earliest of these appointments is scheduled at 11:45 so that the morning can be spent on regular office duties. As a result, most of the staff, including myself, do not start until 11 am. This happens just as I am coming into work.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Hey, I’m going to start getting set up for our appointments today.”

Coworker: *indicating the only person sitting in our waiting area* “Great. He’s been here since 9 am for his appointment.”

(I’m a bit surprised that someone would show up over two hours early for an appointment, but start setting up by myself, since no one else has arrived yet. By the time the rest of the staff arrives to help, I am exhausted from rushing and pause to take a breather and check on the front desk. When I get there, the man approaches the desk.)

Man: “Excuse me, how much longer am I going to have to wait? I was hoping to be done by now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re still getting set up. We’ll be beginning as soon as we can.”

Man: “Can’t someone just help me now? I’ve been waiting for a very long time.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we’re not even scheduled to begin taking paperwork until 11:45. That is why we didn’t schedule any appointments until then. Our staff has actually only just gotten here, but we’re working as fast as we can to take you.”

Man: *grumbling as he sits down* “I shouldn’t have to wait. Someone should just be able to help me.”

(Having caught my breath, I leave the desk to check on the rest of the staff, and see that we are just about ready to begin, so I call the front desk to check in the man for his paperwork appointment, about ten minutes early. After waiting five minutes and seeing no sign of him, I go to the front desk to see that he is gone.)

Me: “Hey, where did that guy go?”

Coworker: “Oh, when I told him I could check him in and asked for the documentation, he said that he didn’t have it all. So, I told him he would have to reschedule, or go home to get it. So, he left.”

Me: “He showed up two hours early and didn’t even have everything we asked him to bring?”

Coworker: “That’s not even the worst of it. When he got here at nine, he asked to borrow a pen so he could start filling out the paperwork we gave him three days ago!”

(Let this be a lesson. If you have time to show up early, you have time to make sure you’re prepared!)

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