Category: Time

Fourth Time Is The Charm

| Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Time

(The studio I work at has an order turnaround time of about a week. Customers can pay to have their orders shipped to their home, or they can pick it up at our studio for free. Our hours are a little strange: we are closed on Tuesdays, we close for an hour midday for lunch, and we close two hours before the store that we are located inside. A woman rushes in to pick up her portraits.)

Customer: “You’re here!”

Me: *confused* “Yes, I’m here… Are you here for a pickup?”

Customer: “Yes! Finally! This is my fourth try!”

(I’ve had people complain about our hours before, so I brace myself to deal with her anger.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am—”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. It’s not your fault at all. I mean, could you guys have made it any more obvious for me?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Well, when I called on Friday to see if my order was in, the nice girl on the phone reminded me that you closed for the night at 7 pm. I forgot that really quickly because I showed up at 7:45 to a dark studio!”

(She’s laughing as she tells me the story and I start to laugh with her.)

Me: “Well, yeah, we do try to remind people that we close before the store.”

Customer: “Exactly! Then, I tried again on Monday and I came right after you guys left for lunch!”

Me: “Yeah, I know the lunch break is weird…”

Customer: “You need to eat! And look! It’s printed right here on my receipt!”

(She puts her receipt on the counter. It’s got her pickup slip attached to it with our hours printed on it. By now she is laughing hysterically at herself.)

Customer: “She even highlighted it for crying out loud!”

Me: “That is quite a saga!”

Customer: “It gets better! I came in on Tuesday!”

Me: *face-palm*

Customer: “In addition to that also being printed and highlighted on my receipt, there is literally a sign RIGHT THERE that says you’re closed on Tuesdays! You would think I’d have been here enough times by this point to know that.”

Me: “Wow…”

Customer: *still laughing as I give her her order* “I mean you guys tried to hard to make sure I came when you were open and it still took me four tries.”

Me: “I’m sorry you had to go through all that!”

Customer: “Trust me… you are not the idiot here.”

(I love it when people are self aware.)

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2001: A Computer Space Odyssey

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Time

(At this time, I work in the service department of a retail electronics store, mainly fixing people’s computers. One customer will bring up cheap playing card computer games to us and ask if it will work on her computer. She never has any details on the specs of her computer other than it’s at least eight years old. We tell her the games will probably not work but we would need to see her computer to be sure. She never brings the computer in, though, and then the pattern repeats. One day in 2014 she actually calls the store instead of coming in.)

Caller: “Hey I was wondering if you can tell me if a game would work on my computer.”

Me: “Maybe. What kind of game are talking about?”

Caller: “Well, a friend of mine had it. It’s, like, this robot guy and you shoot things.”

Me: “Do you know the name of the game?”

Caller: “No. So, will it work?”

Me: “Not sure, ma’am. Without the name of the game I can’t tell you what the recommended or minimum specs are.”

Caller: “Okay, forget that game. What about [Basic Card Game]?”

Me: *looking up the specs* “It doesn’t require a lot of computing power. What kind of computer do you have?”

Caller: “It’s gray.”

(Yes, she said it was gray.)

Me: “I mean the brand, model, operating system, RAM, hard drive, processor? That would be the information I need.”

Caller: “Well, the box is gray. It was built for me. You guys should know. You just worked on it.”

(I ask for her name and phone number and start looking for a work order for her but come up with nothing.)

Me: “I’m not seeing anything under your information. Could it have been brought in under another person’s information?”

Caller: “No. I mean, you just had it. I just want to know if this game will work.”

Me: “If you want to bring it in we would be glad to tell you if the [Basic Card Game] would work.”

Caller: “I don’t want to bring it in. Just have someone who worked on it tell me if it will work.”

Me: “Ma’am, when did you have us work on it? Like, what month?”

Caller: “2001. Can you put on someone who worked on it?”

Me: “Ma’am, no one in this department now was here in 2001.”

Caller: “Really? So you have a lot of turnover?”

Me: “All businesses have a fair amount of turnover in 13 years.”

Caller: “Really? Huh. Well, can you tell me if the game will work?”

Me: “We will need you to bring your computer in.”

Caller: “I don’t want to do that. It’s heavy. Okay, then. I guess you can’t help. Okay, bye.”

A Very Quick Performance

| Vienna, Austria | Bizarre, Time

(I work in a big theatre where a lot of rich obnoxious people come to watch the performance. No one is allowed entrance into the auditorium after the performance has started. I am working entrance when a woman in her fifties shows up ten minutes late.)

Me: “Good evening, madam. I am very sorry, but the performance has already started; you can take a seat in the lobby. There is a live screen where you can watch until intermission.”

Woman: “So, I am not allowed in?”

Me: “No. I am very sorry, but nobody is allowed in after the music has started.”

Woman: *very understanding* “I get that. But, you see, my mother, she is 90 years old; it takes her a while to get ready, so maybe you could make an exception?”

Me: “I really couldn’t, I’m sorry.”

(The last two sentences are repeated 3-4 times. At that moment sure enough, a very old lady enters the area with her walking stick and stands quietly next to the original woman.)

Woman: *more unsettled* “Look, we’ve paid a lot of money for these tickets! I want you to let us in NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t do it.”

(I look over to my colleague and sign him to get our supervisor.)

Woman: “You are going to let us in THIS SECOND or you’re going to be in BIG TROUBLE!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but once the performance has started, there is no getting in. it says so on your ti—”

(I stop talking at that moment, because the 90-year old woman, that takes so long to get ready and walk, suddenly starts running towards the door to the auditorium. I’m baffled, but since she is 90 years old and I am in my early 20s, the one-second head-start she gets until I believe what’s happening is not enough for her to reach the doors before me, so I stop her and escort her back to her daughter.)

Me: “As I was saying, it says on your ticket, that once the performance has starte—”

(Again, the 90-year-old lady starts running towards the auditorium and I stop her and bring her back. Finally, my supervisor shows up.)

Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem?”

Woman: *switching back to her fake polite tone* “We were late, but look, my mother, she is 90 years old, she’s not that fast anymore…”

(My supervisor continues to give her the exact same information I gave her two minutes earlier. While she gets more unnerved again, the old lady tries running off once more and I stop her again to bring her back.)

Supervisor: *raising his eyebrow* “Well, if she had been that quick while getting ready, you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place!”

(The woman gave up and took a seat at the monitor.)

Rebutted In Less Than Thirty Seconds

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Time

(I am working the opening shift and our store opens at eight am. After we set up the cash registers, my manager unlocks the doors at exactly eight am. We both stay up the front unpacking new catalogues when an angry customer comes racing up to us.)

Customer: “I demand to see the store manager immediately!”

Manager: “That would be me. How may I help?”

Customer: “You are supposed to open at eight am! Yet you didn’t and I wish to file a complaint!”

(Both my manager and I are in shock, as the clock in the store said eight am and both our watches said the same.)

Manager: “I am sorry, but I do believe we did open at eight am.”

Customer: “No, you f****** didn’t! It was 30 seconds past eight am when you opened! I am in a hurry and do not have the time to wait for you losers to get off your fat a**es and open the store!”

(The customer keeps going on for over half an hour about how we opened 30 seconds past eight am. During this time my manager is trying to listen to her and calm her down while I serve customers who are all watching in disbelief. After I finish serving an elderly customer she approaches the angry customer.)

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, but how do you know that your watch wasn’t 30 seconds fast?”

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It’s Been A Long Day Exactly

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Time

(I’m sitting on reception when two ladies come to check in. I check them in and everything is fine until I start telling them the hotel information.)

Me: “The bar is open 24 hours for hotel guests.”

Guest #1: *looks at me shocked…* “Only 24 hours? But we are here four nights.”

Me: *looking at her dumbfounded and speechless*

Guest #2: “Don’t… don’t worry about her… We had a long trip… We’ll be going up to our room now.”

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