Category: Time

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Appointment Disappointment, Part 2

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Health & Body, Time

(I overhear a coworker at reception.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but your appointment seems to be for next week and we are booked fully today. I can see about getting your appointment moved up to tomorrow if that is okay.”

Patient: “No, you aren’t sorry! It’s a long walk to this desk! I know you will be laughing about me later! You will be old, too, some day!”

Related:
Appointment Disappointment

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A Pet Is For Life, Not Four Minutes

| MI, USA | Pets & Animals, Popular, Time

(An older man and his daughter come into the animal shelter. His daughter is wearing slippers in public.)

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “Yeah, I want a kitten.”

Me: “Okay, well we only have one really young kitten right now. She is about four months old an—”

Man: *interrupts me* “Yeah, I’ll take that one.”

Me: “Well, you have to spend some time with her and make sure that she has the personality you’re looking for.”

(We take the kitten into the adoption room so he can spend time with her and so I can further counsel the adoption. The man spends about four minutes with the kitten and comes back out holding her. I go up and take the kitten.)

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Man: “Yeah, I want that kitten.”

Me: “Well, I need you to spend at least fifteen minutes with her. The time you spent with her isn’t enough to get to know her, and I’ll have to ask some questions.”

Man: *getting annoyed* “I just want this kitten.”

Me: “You have to spend more time with her so we can make sure she is going to the right home.”

Man: “I’m a good pet owner! I just want the kitten!”

Me: “I’m not saying you aren’t. You just have to spend more time with her.”

Man: “Well, I have stuff to do! I can’t spend all day here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you are required to spend more time with her if you want to adopt from us.”

(The man stares at me blankly for a minute, throws his arms up and starts to walk out. At this point his daughter chimes in.)

Daughter: “You people are ridiculous!”

(She promptly followed her dad out and left.)

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Missed Your Swansong

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Popular, Time

(I am hosting the karaoke night at a suburban bar. It is popular now but was a ghost town the first several weeks. On a quiet night, I announce at 12:55 that I’m off the clock at 1:00, so to get the last couple songs in right away if anyone wanted to sing. No takers. At 1:05…)

Patron: “If I want to put in a song request, do I give it to you?”

Me: “Yes, but five minutes ago. I can’t get any more songs in; I’ve already shut down and started pulling the plugs.”

Patron: “Just turn it back on. It’s only like four switches.”

Me: “That easy, eh? Okay, go ahead. Turn it back on.”

Patron: “What?”

Me: “Well if it’s that easy, go ahead and turn it back on. If you can do that, I’ll let you sing your song, and I’ll even waive my $50/hour overtime rate.”

Patron: “So I guess I’m singing that song next week?”