Category: Time

It’s Been A Long Day Exactly

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Time

(I’m sitting on reception when two ladies come to check in. I check them in and everything is fine until I start telling them the hotel information.)

Me: “The bar is open 24 hours for hotel guests.”

Guest #1: *looks at me shocked…* “Only 24 hours? But we are here four nights.”

Me: *looking at her dumbfounded and speechless*

Guest #2: “Don’t… don’t worry about her… We had a long trip… We’ll be going up to our room now.”

Brick For Brains

, | NJ, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Time

(I work at a fast food place that’s across the street from what used to be an empty lot. Recently construction has begun on a new building so there’s now lots of construction materials and signs posted around the place. On this day I’m on the opening shift, helping to set everything up in back. We hear someone trying to open our locked front entrance.)

Manager: “We’ll be open in another 15 minutes, sir.”

(The person outside continues to struggle with the door, while the manager and I share a look as the lights are all off and our opening times are clearly sign posted on the door (I know, I know, expecting customers to read and all that). Eventually however, the customer seems to take the hint and gives up so we think nothing more of it… until we both hear a thunderous BANG! against the door. It’s quickly followed by another one, and the sound of glass cracking.)

Manager: “What the ever loving f***?!”

(We run to the front to find a man with an arm full of bricks that he apparently took from the construction site across the street, throwing them one by one at our glass door which is now riddled with cracks.)

Manager: “Sir, what are you doing!? Stop! Stop!”

(My manager frantically unlocks the door before the man can break it down entirely.)

Man: “Oh, hi, your door seemed to be stuck. I’d like a [Breakfast Sandwich] and a coffee.”

Manager: “The door wasn’t stuck; it was LOCKED! We’re not open yet!”

Man: “Really? Well, how was I supposed to know that? The door wouldn’t open!”

Manager: “…”

Man: “So can I get a [Breakfast Sandwich] and a coffee now?”

Manager: “Sure. It’ll be $3,000, cash only right now since the registers aren’t on yet.”

Man: “WHAT!? $3,000 for a f****** [Breakfast Sandwich] and a coffee?”

Manager: “No, for the [Breakfast Sandwich], the coffee, the replacement for the door you just smashed due to apparently being unable to read the sign right in front of you stating when our hours are, or too stupid to realize a store with the lights off, no customers, and a locked door is CLOSED, and also for the trespassing fines and theft of building materials from across the street.”

Man: “What… but… the door wouldn’t open!”

(My manager looks down at the scattered bricks lying around our front entrance.)

Manager: “[My Name], call the police, before I decide to return a few of these to their sender!”

(The man’s jaw dropped open and he promptly dumped the remaining bricks he was holding and ran off. We gave the police a full description along with our camera footage, and that’s the last we ever saw or heard of the impatient brick-throwing moron. The construction company also sent us a letter of apology, saying they’d take additional measures to make sure their materials were better secured from now on.)

1 Thumbs
1,010
VOTES

Not Very Closed Minded: Employee Edition

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Time

Customer: “When do you close?”

Me: “Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “No, I mean tonight.”

Me: “Thanksgiving. We’re a twenty-four hour store, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Beginning To Understand Why You Have A Criminal Record

| WI, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Time

(This conversation happens on the telephone at my office.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Name] Law Offices. Can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I have a case and need an attorney. I’ve been victimized by the courts. I agreed to a misdemeanor charge, but on my records, it’s recorded as a felony! This is outrageous!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, the attorney is out right now, but I can make you a consultation appointment. Can I have your name and phone number?”

Client: “Oh… I don’t know. I’m very busy. Maybe if I can call you and see if he is in?”

Me: “Ma’am, the attorney tends to be out quite a bit. It would be best if we could make an appointment.”

Client: “But I’m a victim of an injustice! We can’t let anyone get away with it! How do I know the attorney is worth it?”

Me: “Ma’am, the attorney that specializes in criminal defense is very good. We have people calling from all over our state, and from neighboring states as well. Please, can I have a name and a phone number? We can at least call you back!”

Client: “I don’t know… I’m going to be driving, so I won’t be able to answer my phone. I’ll just call later.”

Me: “Ma’am, can I at least have a name so the attorney can know to anticipate your call?”

Client: “Well… I don’t think so; I don’t want him trying to call me when I’m not available!”

Me: *tearing my hair out* “Ma’am, really, any information would be helpful.”

Client: “No… I’ll just call later… You have a good day.” *click*

Me: *to myself* “Well that was just the biggest waste of time EVER.”

(The kicker? I spent half an hour with this woman, which is worth a great deal of money in billable hours, and I ended up horribly behind on my work. And she NEVER called back!)

Groomed For A Cancellation

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Time

(I run a mobile dog grooming business so I go to people’s houses and groom their dogs in the back of my van. It is my last client for the week. I get to the house and knock on the door; no answer. She’s a fairly regular client so I decide to give her 5-10 minutes. I set myself up and potter around before calling her and having the following conversation:)

Client: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, [Client], it’s [My Name], the dog groomer. We have an appointment today at 2:30.”

Client: “Oh, hi, I didn’t get a reminder text; I was waiting for it to cancel our appointment.”

(My booking software automatically sends out a reminder text 24 hours in advance of the booking. Occasionally it does stuff up and not send a text.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It should have sent automatically. But you were waiting for the text to cancel the booking?”

Client: “Yes, I couldn’t remember when it was but I decided last week to let the dogs fur grow a bit longer before getting it cut.”

Me: “So you’d already decided to cancel the appointment?”

Client: “Yes, but I didn’t know when it was.”

Me: “So you were waiting until less than 24 hours before the appointment to cancel because you didn’t know when it was even though you had already decided last week to cancel it?”

Client: “Yes…”

Me: “In the future, please let me know as soon as possible if you want to cancel an appointment. It’s hard to fill a spot with less than 24-hours’ notice so I lose income from not working when I could be. If it happens again I will have to charge a cancellation fee.”

Client: “But I didn’t know when the appointment was!”

Me: “But you knew a week ago you wanted to cancel the appointment regardless of when it was?”

Client: “Yes!”

Me: “So you could’ve texted me a week ago and cancelled?”

Client: I suppose… but I didn’t know a week ago when the appointment was.”

Me: “But you knew you were going to cancel and were perfectly capable of calling or texting me and telling me that?”

Client: “Yes, but—”

Me: “Next time if you decide to cancel an appointment please let me know as soon as you decide. Anything less than 24-hours’ notice and I will charge you a cancellation fee.”

Client: “But what if I don’t know when the next appointment is?”

Me: “Write it in your calendar or stick it on the fridge.”

Client: “Oh, that’s a good idea, thanks!”

Me: “No problem. Have a nice day.”

(On the plus side I got to start my weekend three hours early!)

Page 3/3412345...Last