Category: Time

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Yellow-Stoney Faces

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Time, Tourists/Travel

(I am a busboy at a local high-end restaurant in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s 15 minutes past closing time; I’m out cleaning tables, when suddenly I’m beckoned over by one of the last holdouts of the night. I notice they are all on their phones.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Can you get our server? ”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. I’ll be just one second.”

(I run and grab their server, and go drop off the dishes I collected. On my way back out to the dining room, I run into the server, looking bemused.)

Me: “What did they want?”

Server: *deep sigh* “They wanted a map of Yellowstone Park.”

Me: *laughing* “Really?! They stayed 15 minutes past closing for that? What’d you tell them?”

Server: “I told them we don’t have any, and then they asked me where they could find one. I told them, ‘Probably at a gas station. In Wyoming.’ And they were like, ‘Oh! A gas station! Okay, we’ll go there. Thank you very much!’”

Me: *laughing harder* “Yeah, or they could’ve just found one on the phones they had out in front of their freaking faces.”

Server: “No kidding!”

Me: “Did they tip you well?”

Server: “Not really.”

Me: “F*** them. I hope they never find Yellowstone.”

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Closing Before It Gets Too Hairy

Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Time

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “DO YOU HAVE MOUSTACHES?”

Me: “If you mean fake moustaches for costumes, yes.”

Customer: “Great. What time do you close?”

Me: “In about 10 minutes.”

Customer: “Can you stay open? I really need those moustaches and I’m on [Road that is 30 minutes away].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I have to close at nine.”

(Even if I wanted to stay open longer, I wouldn’t be able to as corporate sets the hours of operation and if I stay late I could be fired.)

Customer: “Please? What if you buy them for me and leave them outside the door? I’ll tape the money to the door.”

Me: “I don’t believe in lending money to strangers.”

Customer: “C’mon, don’t be a b****. I need these moustaches.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m ending this conversation.”

(I hung up the phone and started closing the store. Around the time I left the customer showed up to scream at me through the locked door. I guess those moustaches were really important!)

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Not Very Closed Minded, Part 18

| TX, USA | Popular, Time

(Our store closes promptly at midnight every day. I had already turned off the open sign and was in the process of putting the food away when a customer walks in.)

Customer: “Oh no, no, no! Wait! What are you doing? Don’t put the food away! I need a sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “Closed? But you close at midnight!”

Me: “Yes, sir, we do, and it’s already five past midnight. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! My watch says it’s 11:59. You still have a minute and I’m hungry. How hard is it to make a sandwich?! Just do your job.”

(After having a busy day, and still a little behind on my cleaning, I was trying my best not to sound frustrated.)

Me: “Again, I apologize, but [Fast Food Place] across the street is open 24 hours if you—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Whatever! It’s too late now and you wasted my time! F*** you!”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 17
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 16
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 15