Category: Time

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 26

| SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I frequently stop by Large Chain Store on my way home from work to grab a random item or dinner, and I don’t carry around a spare shirt to change into so I usually am in uniform. This night, a woman had been aggressively following me around the store for about 10 minutes screaming “excuse me!”)

Me: “Uh, can I help you?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I can’t believe it took you this long to acknowledge me! Where is your manager?”

Me: “Probably at home by now.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me! There has to be a manager on duty right now!”

Me: “No, the store closed about thirty minutes ago. My manager is definitely at home right now.”

(The lady looks genuinely confused.)

Customer: “Isn’t this store open 24 hours a day?”

Me: “It is, which is why I’m glad I don’t work here. Hope you find that rude [Large Chain Store] employee you are looking for.”

(I think at that point she finally noticed that my shirt had another company’s name in huge letters across the back. She left me alone.)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 25
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 24
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 23

Mocking-day Early

| UK | Movies & TV, Time

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I have pre-booked tickets to see ‘Mockingjay,’ bought popcorn and a slush drink, and am just waiting in line for my ticket to be checked.)

Clerk: “Are you sure you booked the right cinema? We’re not showing this film at nine pm.”

Me: “Oh! Well, I thought I did it right but that does sound like something I would do…”

Clerk: “I’ll check with my colleague.” *he goes to the colleague, smiles, and comes back* “Er, you’re a day early. Mockingjay isn’t released until tomorrow.”

Keeping You Busier Than Her Shirt

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Time


(For context, I work in a relatively small store. It would take you max 10 seconds to walk from one end to the other.)

Customer: “Do you have this in larger?” *she’s holding an XSP shirt*

Me: “We don’t have a large petite, but we might have large regular size. Would you like me to find it for you?”

Customer: “Mhm.” *she puts the shirt she’s holding on the nearest rack to her. This rack only has pants on it and isn’t in the petite section…*

(I find her the other shirt and bring it to her. She spends about 30 seconds looking at it before putting it on another random rack, this time one with only scarves hanging on it. I’m standing right next to her and would have happily taken it back. She meanders around the store for a bit before asking me to help her find a shirt that will go with two very different patterned scarves. One is bright yellow with purple flowers and the other is blue and white stripes and floral patterns. I show her a shirt; she disagrees with my opinion. She asks about a beige, pink, and yellow busy patterned shirt. I politely say that a solid color would be a better choice. I show her a solid color shirt instead, and she asks about the first shirt I showed her, acting like she’s never seen it before. This goes on for about three more repetitions of that process, all the while asking my opinion and immediately dismissing it. She eventually picks some random shirt, pays, and leaves.)

Me: *to new coworker* “And that’s what we like to call a ‘high maintenance’ customer.”

They Must Work Until They Break

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

(I am a member service supervisor at this particular membership-based (meaning only people with memberships are allowed to shop here) retail store. It is a Sunday and there is a huge volume of members going through check-out lanes. It is time for one of my cashiers to go on his break, so I come over to his register, shut down his sign, and stand at the end to block the lane due to the high volume of members, so he can go on break. Then a member pushes his cart right in his lane and right in front of me.)

Me: “Sir, this lane is closed. Please use a different check-out lane.”

(He either pretends he doesn’t not hear me or he really doesn’t hear me; I do not know which is the case.)

Me: “Sir? Excuse me, sir, but this lane is closed.”

(He finally looks at me.)

Customer #1: “Why is it closed? All the other lanes are long and I don’t have time to wait.”

Customer #2: *on the very next lane* “Why is the sun shining outside?”

Me: *trying not to laugh at [Customer #2]’s comment* “Sir, this lane is closed because the cashier has to go on his break. We also have self-checkout lanes if you don’t want to wait in line.”

Customer #1: “I don’t care if he has to go on break. I paid to shop here and I do not want to use self-checkout. Your job is being paid by me so you better open the register back up and check me out before I have your supervisor fire you.”

Me: “Sir, I am the supervisor and the cashier really does have to go on break.”

(The cashier has finished with his last member and is walking toward the break room. I move away from the checkout lane.)

Me: “Sir, the lane is now wide open just for you.”

(I walked away and went to thank the Customer #2 for his comment early on. When I went back to the podium, I noticed Customer #1 was using the self-checkout to check himself out.)

It’s Just Not Your Day

| London, England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Time

(A customer runs in through the door in an obvious state of distress.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you? Do you have an appointment?”

Customer: “WHAT DAY IS IT!?”

Me: “[Date].”

Customer: “WHAT DAY?!”

Me: “Wednesday…?”

Customer: *weeping in obvious terror* “MAKE IT NOT BE!”

Me: “How… how would I make it not be Wednesday?”


Me: “I… can’t. I’m sorry.”

(The customer ran outside, screaming. I found out later that he was going to lose his house if he didn’t make a payment by Tuesday, and he’d forgotten to. I’m still not sure how I was supposed to time-travel for him, though.)

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