Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Email Fail

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer has called during our peak morning hours. As all our technicians are busy, he leaves a message saying he cannot log in to his computer. I phone the customer, who is out on the road.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. It’s [My Name] from [Company]. I understand you can’t get into your computer?”

Customer: “Yes. I go into my emails and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay so you can get into your computer but not your emails?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, so it prompts you for the password but won’t log in?”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “Unfortunately you have to speak to [Email Provider] as they host your emails. I have no access to their systems.”

Customer: “Ah, okay. Do you have a number for them?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s—”

Customer: “Can you email it to me?”

Me: “…”

Must Be New To The Game

| San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am waiting in line to pay. The customer in front of me in line is an older woman.)

Employee: “Hi, did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “I’m actually here to return something.”

Employee: “I’m sorry to hear that. What are you returning?”

Customer: “This very violent video game.”

(She places a copy of a popular first-person-shooter game on the counter.)

Employee: “Thank you.”

(The employee opens the case to check the disc.)

Employee: “Ma’am, the game isn’t in here.”

Customer: “Sure it is. You’re holding it.”

Employee: “This is just the case. There’s no disc.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Employee: “You can’t return an empty game case.”

Customer: “Why?”

(I decide to step in.)

Me: “It’s like buying a new coat and only getting the hanger.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(The employee hands over the box, and the customer leaves.)

Employee: “It’s going to be a long day, isn’t it?”

This Stuff Shouldn’t Phase(r) You Any More

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

(In our store we order our products by scanning the shelf labels with a device that shoots a laser to read the barcode. I’m in the refrigerated juice section of the store and have just scanned a label when a middle-aged customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Did you just do what I think you did?”

Me: “I’m just ordering something.”

Customer: *wide-eyed* “Did you just taser that orange juice?”

(I look at the scanner in my hand.)

Me: “Um, if you mean I scanned it, then, I guess so.”

Customer: “Well, it looks like it’s not moving so it must have worked. Great job!”

(After the customer happily wanders away my coworker, who saw the whole thing, comes up to me)

Coworker: “Maybe you should set it to ‘stun’ next time.”

Social Insecurity, Part 3

| NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m one of the owners of a rental company. I had just finished setting up the unit, going over the rental agreement with the customer, and swiping his credit card on my phone.)

Me: “Okay, sir, would you like us to email you a receipt?”

Customer: “I really don’t like giving out my email address.”

Me: “…I just ran your credit card on my phone.”

Social Insecurity, Part 2
Social Insecurity

Common Sense Has Folded

| Wilsonville, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “Where are all my old emails? I had them in the deleted items box so I could refer to them.”

Me: “They were removed from the deleted items box because they were deleted and you no longer wanted them.”

Customer: “I store them there so I only have to push a button to get them filed. Also so I can find out who contacted me previously about a construction contract I have in case I get sued.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. They were in the deleted items box and they were deleted to help ease the migration from POP to IMAP.”

Customer: “Can you restore all my emails?”

Me: “With your backup I can put them in a folder.”

Customer: “What’s a folder?”

Me: “It’s a place to put email you want to save, manually.”

Customer: “That seems like a lot of extra work. Why can’t I just push a button?”

Page 99/221First...979899100101...Last