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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Parenthetically Speaking

| Portland, OR, USA | Technology

Caller: “I wondered if I need to dial the parenthesis around the area code when I make a phone call?”

Me: *after paused mute to control my laughing* “Ma’am, if you can find those buttons on your phone go right ahead and push them!”

Just Crossed The Online Line

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Thank you for calling [Retail Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *happy* “Hi there! Ugh, I ended up ordering the wrong thing online. Silly me; should have been paying more attention. Can I return this?”

Me: “Yah! Sure, no problem. Can I get the order number from you?”

Customer: “Of course!” *reads it off*

Me: “Perfect. Just one second. I’m sorry; my system shut off on me. We have an online return option. Would you like me to walk you through the steps? It’s really simple. If not just give me. like. 60 seconds to bring my system back up and I would be more than happy to do the return for you.”

Customer: “YOU WANT ME TO DO IT ONLINE?! YOU DON’T WANT TO HELP?! FINE!” *hangs-up*

Not Linked To Reality

| Europe | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Client: “This is not what we requested at all. This [document] looks exactly the same as we provided a week ago. The deadline is tomorrow, we need this ASAP! When can you apply the edits?”

Me: “[Client], there seems to be a misunderstanding. I click the link and see the entirely new document. Have you checked this [link]?”

Client: “Found it. This should have been sent sooner.”

Me: “There were three versions sent earlier during the week to your email. Did you not receive them? Just to show, I’ve attached screenshots of the timestamps and emails sent.”

Client: “I did not scroll down to see the emails in Gmail. Please notify us earlier if I haven’t seemed to have noticed the link in your opinion.”

Me: “…”