The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…
(This is an old story. I am working Vista tech support right around the release, as a level 2 tech. This exchange happens right as the call is escalated.)
Me: “How can I help you today?”
Customer: “I’ve got my 22-gauge pointed at my desktop. Do you think that’s going to be a better solution than what you got?”
(The sad part is that he had to replace all the hardware, so the gun would have been a faster solution.)
(I work in a call center for a telephone company in their DSL technical support department. Apparently my “phone voice” is very close to the Interactive Voice Response (IVR) system’s. At least once a week, I get a call like this:)
Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?
Caller: Are you human?
(At this point, I can usually hear some frustration in the customer’s voice, so I say something that they’re not expecting to break the ice.)
Me: “No, sir/ma’am. I am just a better programmed computer…”
Client: “Hi, I just submitted a new ticket. It’s very urgent so please make it your top priority.”
Me: “I’ve got about six tickets from you, and most of them are marked urgent. Which one do you want me to work on first?”
Client: “All of them.”