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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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A Scrambled Sense Of The Law

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(Working for the local cable office we often get questions about services that are connected to TV, but not necessarily a service we provide.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys rent cable descramblers?”

Me: “Oh, do you mean antennas to get over-the-air channels?”

Customer: “No, cable descramblers for the people that want TV stations but don’t want to pay for them.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That’s not how business works. I can either set you up for TV or you can get an antenna.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I get a descrambler?”

Me: “Because they are illegal, ma’am.”

(The customer went wide eyed and immediately changed the subject.)

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Abusing Our Good Name

| WI, USA | Funny Names, Technology

(Our tech support team works through phone, email, and chat. It is common for customers to contact us through one channel and follow up on another. I get a customer on the phone.)

Customer: “I already worked with someone in chat about this issue, but it’s still not working.”

Me: “All right, let me get the chat log called up so I see what you’ve done so far. Okay, so it looks like you told [Coworker] that the problem was [problem], and she recommended you try [basic troubleshooting]. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yeah… wait, [Coworker]?”

Me: “Yes, you were chatting with [Coworker].”

Customer: “Really? [Coworker]?”

Me: “I have the chat log right here…”

Customer: “But I didn’t realize you actually had names!”

Me: “…um.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry! That came out wrong. I meant I didn’t realize you used your real names in chat.”

Me: “Whew! Yeah, her name is actually [Coworker] and she’s pretty good with this stuff. Since those first steps didn’t work, though, let’s try these steps instead…”

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Groomed To Be An A**-Hole

Switzerland | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work at a well known chain store specialized in selling video games. We are situated next to a parking lot, so we often get people that just want to get some change for the parking metre. A customer comes in, already with that guilty look on his face.)

Me: “Hey there! Are you here to get some change?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, how did you know?”

Me: “I guessed from the look on your fa—”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess I’m too well-groomed to be in here.”

(I just gave him his change so he would leave.)

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Should Have Read The Fine Print(er)

, | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I just get into work to find out our main printer is down again. It breaks about three times a week. Our backup printer is three times slower than our main but it works just fine.)

Customer: “How long will my pictures take?”

Me: “Unfortunately we’re on our backup printer, but I’d still say 15 – 20 minutes.”

(Our policy is a 15 minute guarantee for 120 pictures. But the guarantee is void if our main printer is down.)

Customer: “I can’t believe this! Every time I get pictures your printer is down! I asked him—“ *pointing to my coworker* “—if everything was working right today! He said yes!”

(Coworker overhears and steps in.)

Coworker: “You asked me if the computers were working fine, and they are. The printer just went down about 10 minutes ago.”

Customer: “I just can’t believe this!”

(A few minutes later my manager walks up.)

Manager: “That customer just complained to me at the service desk about our printer being down. I’m giving her 20% off her order.”

Me: “Okay.” *filling out our discount sheet* “So should I put for the reason for the discount that ‘the customer was whiny’?”

Manager: “Haha! No, don’t.”

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Swipeout

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(We’ve just had some new staff start, and I’m working in one of the aisles when one of them calls me over. In the UK, chip and pin has been used for many years now. Most people under a certain age have never had to use the swipe method.)

Coworker: “[My Name], what do I do when it says ‘swipe card’?”

Me: *coming over* “You use the magnetic strip on the card and swipe it on the side.”

(At this point I’m behind the till with her, and I take the customer’s card out of the machine to show her. The customer, an older woman, chimes in.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what’s wrong; I’ve always used this card this way.”

(It’s now I notice the card I’m holding is the wrong way round in the machine, which would made the machine think it didn’t have a chip and ask for a reinsert before giving up and asking for a swipe.)

Me: “This way?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “This is the wrong way round. This bit—” *points at the chip* “—needs to go in the machine.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! That bit—“ *points at the silver hologram logo on the card* “—goes in!”

(I don’t say anything. I cancel the card transaction and start it again so it lets the card be inserted. I put it in the correct way, the customer insisting it’s the wrong way. Surprise… it works. Once the customer has left, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Some people put their cards in the wrong way. Most of them realise. Some don’t.”

(I then explain to her how to tell from our side if the card is in the wrong way, and then what to do when there is a “swipe card”. We both agree that the customer was either too proud to admit she was wrong, or didn’t trust us because we are both quite young.)

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