Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Not Getting A RAW Deal

| MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I just recently finished my Master’s from a prestigious college. I still work for this retailer since student loans payments are high and they actually pay me good money at this store, working in the photo center, since I have been there for many years and the job market in my field is lacking at the moment.)

Customer: “Why are my pictures all blurry?”

Me: “The resolution of the photo was not high enough to be printed clearly.”

Customer: “These are professional photos taken by a PROFESSIONAL. They are of the highest quality possible.”

Me: “How did this professional send them to you.”

Customer: “By email.”

(This happens a lot and few know that with certain emailing services, they will compress the photo being sent in order for it to email properly. Basically, emailing even a “professional photo” will ruin the quality. I explain this to the customer.)

Customer: “Yes but this is by a professional. He knows what he’s doing and what he’s talking about, unlike you.”

Me: “Ma’am, I have a Bachelor’s degree in Photography and a Masters from one of the best universities in the country in Digital Curation and Preservation. With all due respect, I KNOW what I am talking about.”

Customer: “If you had those degrees you wouldn’t be working here. I don’t believe you. You guys are just doing a crappy job printing my professional wedding photos.”

Me: “The reason why I am working here is none of your concern. I am trying to explain to you why your photos are not coming out clear. We have a PROFESSIONAL printer. It is not our fault they came out this way. If you would just contact your photographer and have them put it on a flash drive or CD, the quality will be much better and we can print them.”

Customer: “Clearly you have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to professional photography. I am going to the drugstore down the street to print these.”

(Let’s see if she finds someone who knows what they are talking about there!)

A New Line Of Enquiry

| Kent, England, UK | Technology

(I answer the phone.)

Customer: “I bought a laptop from you three weeks ago.”

Me: “Okay…” *expecting customer to say there is a problem*

Customer: “I’m filling in an online form and I need to tick a box. How do I tick it?”

Me: *barely containing laughter* “On the touchpad at the bottom there are two buttons. You need to move the cursor over the tick box and click the left button.”

Customer: “But there aren’t two buttons, only a line.”

The Customer Strikes Back

| CA, USA | Technology

(I’ve finally gotten around to playing the video game, ‘Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.’ Since I’ve never played before, I talk to all the characters standing and walking around. In the cantina on the starting world, I have an encounter with one of the patrons.)

Woman: “Where did you get those clothes, a trash compactor in the lower city? And where are those drinks we ordered?”

Real Me: “Wow, rude little brat.”

Me In Game: “Who are you and why are you bossing me around?”

Woman: “Why is the help here so incompetent? One word from daddy and I could get you fired!”

Real Me: “Holy crap, it’s a virtual Not Always Right story.”

Me In Game: “I don’t even work here!”

Woman: “How dare you speak to me like that? Daddy’s going to hear about this!” *runs off*

Real Me: “Okay, this was some impressive realism for a Star Wars game.”

(Later, when I left the cantina, she showed back up and set some thugs on me. I shot down her thugs Han Solo style, and she ran off screaming for daddy. It’s a good thing most real life stories don’t go that far!)

Rage Against The Machine, Part 5

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

(I’m working the self-scans. I had just noticed a pattern of, while I wasn’t looking, someone scanning the same items — two salads — onto a couple different machines and then being gone by the time I looked. Whenever I see a machine with a couple things on the order but neither the customer or their items anywhere, I cancel it to free up the machine. Finally, I spot the customer with the salads fighting with the machine.)

Customer: *shoves coins into the coin acceptor, which spits them back out every time*

Me: *approaches customer* “Ma’am, right now the machine wants to know if you want to purchase any bags.”

Customer: “No.” *frantically slams her finger against the screen in multiple places before she finally hits the NO BAGS option*

Me: “Now you just have to hit the CASH button, and then it’ll read your coins.”

Customer: *slams the cash button violently and starts shoving their coins in*

(I go to help someone else for a bit, but eventually notice the customer is having trouble getting the machine to accept one of her coins. She’s getting more and more violent and slammy as it goes on. I walk over to offer to take her coin at the till.)

Me: “Can I—”

Customer: *she interrupts, yelling right into my face* “NO!”

Me: *takes a careful step back and allows her to continue*

(It took her about five minutes to pay because of this, despite the fact it would have taken only a second had she allowed me to help her. This was the first time I’ve actually been legitimately frightened of a customer. She’s lucky she chose one of the working machines to fight with, though, because there’s one in particular that tends to eat any coins that are dropped into the coin acceptor before it’s told to expect cash. I really don’t want to think about how she might have reacted to that!)

Related:
Rage Against The Machine, Part 4
Rage Against The Machine, Part 3
Rage Against The Machine, Part 2

Not Part Of The IT Crowd

| MI, USA | Technology

(Although I am an accountant, and in no way connected to the IT department, one of our residents is convinced that I’m the person he should come to with complaints about his Internet service. He often stops by my office to complain about slow speeds and connection issues. To be fair, I do look like a stereotypical IT guy, but I’ve told him repeatedly that I can’t fix his Internet problems.)

Resident: “…and when I was at my son’s house over the weekend, we hooked up the Roku, and got all the channels, at full speed… That administrator stopped by to tell me they were upgrading the speed last week, and NOTHING!…” *ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble*

Me: *nodding with glazed eyes*

Resident: “So ,what do you know about the Internet?”

Me: *snapping out of my trance* “It grew out of DARPA initiatives to connect defense department systems in the 1960s, was adopted by academia in the 1980s, and grew into the world wide web we now know in the early 1990s. And you can find a lot of cat pictures on it.”

Resident: “I meant about the Internet here.”

Me: “Nothing. I know nothing. You need to talk to the IT department.”

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