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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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You Can’t Be Siri-ous

| Eilat, Israel | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(I work reception. One day a guest awaiting his turn stares at me and my name tag with a bemused look on his face.)

Guest: “Is your name really “’Siri’?!”

Me: *smiling* “Only for the last 60 years.”

Guest: “The email confirmation was so polite… I was SURE it was the program!”

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His Hate Engine Is Running Fine, However

| Bristol, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Technology, Transportation

(I work for a small software company that had previously been owned by a well-known breakdown cover provider.)

Me: “Good morning, [Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’ve broken down; I need you to come and get me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t [Breakdown Cover Provider]; you have the wrong number.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I looked up the number on the Internet for the Bristol branch and it gave me this number. Don’t lie to me.”

Me: “This is a software company. We were previously owned by [Breakdown Cover Provider] but we haven’t been part of that company for a while.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have time for this; you have to sort it out. I’m stuck on the side of the road and I can’t look up the number from here.”

Me: “I thought you’d already looked up the number on your phone which is how you got this number.”

Customer: “DON’T GET SMART WITH ME! Give me the god-d*** number now!”

(I realise there is no point in arguing so I look up the number on my computer whilst he is screaming at me.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the number is [number]. I hope you get everything sorted. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Why couldn’t you just do that straight away instead of arguing with me? F*** YOU!” *hangs up*

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Her Brain Is Not Online

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a small family-operated t-shirt store in a small but busy tourist town. We have only one location, but we also have an online store. During the summer, about 90% of our customers are tourists, so we give everyone who comes in a flyer with a code for free shipping on an online order. This occurs as I’m finishing a transaction.)

Me: “We also have a nice online store, and there’s a free shipping code on this flyer for you to use if you order anything on there.”

(The customer pushes the flyer away.)

Customer: “No, I don’t want one; I’m leaving town today.”

(The customer rushes out the door before I can respond. My manager looks over at me.)

Manager: “Isn’t that the point of being able to shop online?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it is.”