icon_technology

Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

icon_criminals

A Scrambled Sense Of The Law

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(Working for the local cable office we often get questions about services that are connected to TV, but not necessarily a service we provide.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys rent cable descramblers?”

Me: “Oh, do you mean antennas to get over-the-air channels?”

Customer: “No, cable descramblers for the people that want TV stations but don’t want to pay for them.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That’s not how business works. I can either set you up for TV or you can get an antenna.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I get a descrambler?”

Me: “Because they are illegal, ma’am.”

(The customer went wide eyed and immediately changed the subject.)

icon_technology

Abusing Our Good Name

| WI, USA | Funny Names, Technology

(Our tech support team works through phone, email, and chat. It is common for customers to contact us through one channel and follow up on another. I get a customer on the phone.)

Customer: “I already worked with someone in chat about this issue, but it’s still not working.”

Me: “All right, let me get the chat log called up so I see what you’ve done so far. Okay, so it looks like you told [Coworker] that the problem was [problem], and she recommended you try [basic troubleshooting]. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yeah… wait, [Coworker]?”

Me: “Yes, you were chatting with [Coworker].”

Customer: “Really? [Coworker]?”

Me: “I have the chat log right here…”

Customer: “But I didn’t realize you actually had names!”

Me: “…um.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry! That came out wrong. I meant I didn’t realize you used your real names in chat.”

Me: “Whew! Yeah, her name is actually [Coworker] and she’s pretty good with this stuff. Since those first steps didn’t work, though, let’s try these steps instead…”

icon_badbehavior

Groomed To Be An A**-Hole

Switzerland | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work at a well known chain store specialized in selling video games. We are situated next to a parking lot, so we often get people that just want to get some change for the parking metre. A customer comes in, already with that guilty look on his face.)

Me: “Hey there! Are you here to get some change?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, how did you know?”

Me: “I guessed from the look on your fa—”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess I’m too well-groomed to be in here.”

(I just gave him his change so he would leave.)