Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Laptop Flop, Part 9

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A student walks in with a laptop in a case.)

IT Support Staff: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Student: “My laptop won’t charge.”

(The laptop in question has one corner where the charger would be plugged in looking like it’s been smashed against a wall. You can see the white insides of the laptop; the whole hinge is broken and twisted.)

IT Support Staff: “Um, okay. Yeah, you might have a bit of a bad time there.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 8
Laptop Flop, Part 7
Laptop Flop, Part 6

Mother Is Due For A Conversation

| Dhaka, Bangladesh | Family & Kids, Money, Technology

(My mom just hung up on a call center employee about her phone bill.)

Me: “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Mom: “The d*** people at [Phone Service call center] won’t reduce my phone bill!”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “Look!”

(She hands me the bill, which says that her current bill is BDT 4200, with this month’s charges being 500, and dues being a bit over BDT 3500.)

Mom: “I don’t even talk that much on my phone! All I do is get an Internet package every month and make a few calls! It shouldn’t be this high!”

Me: “Mom, you do see that it says here that you didn’t pay the last few bills fully, so you have dues of over BDT 3500, that is added to your existing bill.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much! It shouldn’t be BDT 4000!”

Me: “Mom, that’s the DUES. Not this month’s bill. This month’s bill is BDT 500.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much!”

Me: “Mom, you didn’t pay fully—”

Mom: “I DIDN’T TALK THAT MUCH!”

Me: “So, even though you didn’t pay your bill fully and have dues, you still think your bill should be less? The dues you racked up should just be forgotten?”

Mom: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

The Power To End This Call

| USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Technology

(After a expletive-laced tantrum on the phone about an issue I resolved, I’m still being screamed at by this jerk, for no reason. Finally I have had enough.)

Caller: “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THE F*** I AM?!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt your tirade, sir, but I just need to verify a few details.”

Caller: “Okay, what?!”

Me: “Your name is [Caller], you live at [Address], your phone number is [number], your wife’s phone number is [number], your birthdate is [date], you work at [Business,] your mother’s maiden name is [Name], and your social security number is [number], correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you know who I am?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “I’m the girl who makes eight bucks an hour to put up with the likes of you. I can ruin your life, and have another job making eight bucks an hour tomorrow. I suggest that you speak to me like a big boy. Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. [social security number]?”

Caller: “No. I’m sure you are not allowed to tell people to f*** off, so I’m just gonna do it myself.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Have a great day.”

Has No Time For Your Closing Time

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Time

(I am closing at the fast food place, so things are slowing down. I get a customer in drive-thru who orders a lot of food, and several drinks, all large. I have very specific rules on when to take orders when there are only three people, including myself working. As I’m taking the payment, someone comes up to order.)

Me: *after automated message plays:* “Just one moment, please.”

Customer: *after about 15 seconds* “Hello?”

Me: *as I’m trying to count out the change for the polite customer at my window* “I’m sorry, give me just a minute.”

(The process repeats a few times before the customer trying to order gets fed up.)

Customer: *talking to his passenger* “Fine, let’s just go to McDonald’s.”

(They then they drive off, rather impatiently. As I’m handing out all of the food for the customer at my window:)

Customer #2: “Sorry for ordering so much.”

Me: “Not a problem; you have a nice night.”

(About 10 minutes later, that same truck, with Mister Impatient, comes back and places an order.)

Me: *at the window during payment* “McDonald’s closes before us here.”

(The customer gave me a startled look, not sure how I knew.)

Your Keyboards Days Are Numbered

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

User: “Hi, I’m having an issue entering in the numbers in this field.”

Me: “Okay, let me proxy into your computer and I’ll see what I can do.”

(I proxy into the computer, click in the field, type with no issues:)

Me: “It looks like this is working okay for me; can I have you try to enter that in again?”

User: *typing* “It’s not working.”

Me: “Hmm, okay, you’re typing in numbers there?”

User: “Yes, but it’s not working.”

Me: “Can I have you press the Num Lock button on your keyboard? It should be on the right side, directly above the 7 key.”

User: “I don’t see it.”

Me: “It’s on the keyboard, on the right side. It’s near the 7 button, on the number keypad, all the way on the right of the keyboard.”

User: “I don’t see a 7.”

Me: “…Okay, so on the keyboard—”

User: “I don’t see anything like that.”

Me: “So, you’re looking at the thing you’re typing on, correct? Not at the screen?”

User: “I just don’t see a 7 anywhere here.”

(I notice that the mouse is moving on the screen, tracking back and forth across the taskbar at the bottom of Windows.)

Me: “I think you’re looking at the screen; I need you to look at the keyboard, the thing you are typing on.”

User: “I was typing in this text box…”

Me: “Oh, no, not on the screen there, but on the keyboard. The hardware under the screen, that you type with.”

User: “But I don’t see anything like that.”

Me: “Okay, so when you place your hands in a position to type—”

User: “Oh, on the KEYBOARD.”

Me: “…Yes, do you see the 7 button on the keyboard?”

User: “…”

Me: “…”

Me: “Directly above the 7 button is the Num Lock button. It’s on the far right side.”

User: “I just don’t see that.”

(10 minutes later, I discovered that the issue was a disconnected keyboard.)